NaMe : AmBeR
Loves : AvErLyN
Hates : BiTchEs, LiArs, BeTraYaL
Fears : CoCkroAchEs
Weakness : Soft-hearted = FOOLISHNESS

:: get a car by 28 ::
:: get a car license by 26 ::
:: get a house by 26 ::
:: to weigh 45kg ::
:: to go swimming twice per month ::
:: get osim product for my parents ::
:: go for yoga lessons ::
:: go for holiday trips ::
:: to bake my first cake ::
:: go drinking once per month ::
:: to buy psp ::
:: start saving money ::
:: get promotion ::
:: to b blessed in my life ::

:: Agu ::
:: Christina ::
:: Esther ::
:: Geswin ::
:: Gracina ::
:: Hsien Yung ::
:: Hui Si ::
:: Jun Wei ::
:: Li Ting ::
:: Liwen ::
:: Wayne ::
:: Wei Ting ::
:: Yan Qi ::
:: Yan Wan ::
:: Yong Xing ::
:: Yuki ::

Melissa's Design

April 2007
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omg.. 2 off days wasted again..somemore its a precious one.. fri n sat off leh.. some ppl wan oso dun hav.. i oso q long nv have these 2 days off... but den.. it was spent rotting at home.
fri.. slp till 3pm.. actually meetin yw but den i duno y i feel so sian to travel far..so in e end i go yishun watch nanny diaries alone while waiting for hubby finish work.

a new management trainee served mi at box. he saw my card but duno how to use. so he called sally along.. tink he oso surprised when sally greeted mi. he tot i m a ex ce.. haha.. tink i duno wat they say in dialect meh? hahaha.. den sally told him tt i from vivo..
hmm.. usher is v friendly.. come to cbar.. my god, tink oso a new staff. tell him i wan nacho n milo he like blur blur.. when i enter hall den noe he giv mi coffee..sth tt i shdnt drink. but forget it.. long time nv drink too, mi alone too, so no one stop mi, hahaaha...

again.. meet hubby at causeway n tabao food home. again... i started to rot at home.. i mean my room e whole nite. watching e boring tv prog while hubby played war craft. waited for him till 4am den he suggst to watch dvd. den waited till 5am den he finally log off n watch. but he watched less den 30mins n fell aslp. mi too at 6

tot hubby n i agreed on thur to go shop at town area today.. in e end we landed havin swensens at causeway pt.. omg omg omg omg~!
kill mi man.. duno how much unhappiness i felt inside.. i so sicked of causeway pt, nt mention tt i m bored to death at home. aft marriage i duno y hubby's vcd player is gone. i hav nth in e room to kill my boredom..... i wan to buy a new on if not i will go crazy. tink i cant meet my target for e money i wan to save this mnth. we aldy spent more den wat i hav planned.

this mrn my bb freak mi out. suddenly i wake up n feel tt my stomach becomes so squarish. not e usual round shape o.. can feel q edge somemore.. so scare bb move herself in my stomach till she get stuck in some position. den wat if she get stuck n cant breathe how? make mi panic n keep shaking my stomach till it become round. reali scares mi.. hope nth happen to her..

tok abt bb.. as my delivery date is approaching closer n closer, i feel scare.. duno wat happen when i go labour.. how i gonna take care of her.. how i gonna educate her.. how i teach her till she not like other kids on street. sometimes u juz dun understnad how parents take their kids into hands when they so naughty in public.

ar....sian sian sian.. realli feel tt life is so boring now. i miss dancing aft saw some scenes of first emperor due to tt stupid patron. miss goin out... workin is so bored now... miss lee goin bangkok soon... 7days wun see her... aft she back, another batch goin taiwan.. my god.. life will b so bored... there is nth to do at all... oni sit in office n handle patrons if there is a need. cant go cbar cz scare i fell.. cz go box cz i sit there will block way... go floor?? do nth... den where can i go.. feel so useless n lazy. back at home even more sian. lockin myself in e room everyday...
dun wan to step out cz mother in law owas raising her voice at bb, his sis or his bro.. n i hate ppl raising voice honestly. it juz pisss mi off but i choose to kp quiet. sometimes e voices juz wake mi up in e mornin when i did nite shifts. cz my door will auto open if hubby nv close it tight. n mother in law face forever black.. even my mum owas ask mi if her face realli forever black.

tt time vist my mum during my off day, i miss her greatly.. now whenever tink of her i feel like crying.. owas feel like goin back to her.. wondering y i dun feel tt way when i m still single. she knows wat i like or dislike to eat.. even when both of us sit besides each other watching tv, we nv tok, but i still enjoyed e times.. juz dun feel like leaving e house but i nid to. i noe she is bored too. everyday stayed at home lookin aft a baby. she oso sian...esp it makes her backache.
3rd sis got so many prob to handle.. i cant help her at all.. yet she still rem to pass mi her clothes to wear.. nvm know she is so helpful n totful till i get pregnant. cz she owas seems heck care abt things. y i started to cherish my family more aft i get married.. even though i aldy seldom go home be4 marriage.. mayb cz i still belong to them but now status is diff?? hai..

tink i wrote too long.. hubby shd b home soon... realli hope he do his minutes n not playin warcraft so logn again. realli duno y he liek it so much...

ar....BORED~!
I WAS HERE @ 11:52 PM l 0Comment

before i start my topic, i juz browsed one of my gd fren blog... she shut it down.. abit shocked but i guess i understand.. reason is easy.. blog is supposed to let ppl release/vet their views but some ppl juz make comments abt it.. be it good or bad. but since u decided to write one, esp in blogspot, u hav to b prepared for comments. ppl might read it n tok back behind u while some might hav diff view of u or some might even started to realise wat is goin wrong..

well, for this fren of mine, i tink she rec'd too much neg feedback abt her r/s, i mean her bf appearance ba.. if only she still check n hav her tag valid, i will tell her tt, to love someone, appearance is not e top priority. character is e one which matters. yes, i can tell her straight in her face tt her bf not yandao at all. but if he can treat her well, take gd care of her, make her happy n love her w all his heart, tt is enuf. everyone will grow old. everyone looks wrinkled n old one day. so wat if he/she is a georgous one now? bt nvm, diff ppl view it diff way... see how u accept ba..

juz like when ppl ask mi abt how my ex look like, or even wanted to see their face in friendsters, i m reluntact to show cz i can say tt i reali had bad taste in most of them. duno y i like them in e 1st place or even do stupid tings for them. tts y i m not tt sensitive to others remarks abt my bf cz i m used to it n when u love someone, other tings dont seems to matter at all.

k la, back to my topic liao..

juz came back frm geylang with hubby n his frenz. ate 12 durians among 6 of us. makin my hubby burps non stop now n i still cant burp at all. DiAoZzz.. On e way back, hubby slpin in e car while e other 4 r tokin.. mE? as usual.. dazing at e passin trees n buildings... i dun tok much to them.. 1st i dun speak dialects so i cant totally understand wat they tokin abt. 2nd, i dun join their outings alot. cz i m workin, else i m too tired after work. i duno y i juz start to tink, wat if i hav e chance/ability to turn back time?

at 1st i tot of turning to e time i doin my attachment.. den i tink i rather dun change anithin n accept my life now. den i started to tink if i could do tt, i will turn to e day i graduate from sec sch. but den i hope i can chnage my grades for O's of cz, hahaa.. if i could chnge tt, i can choose more courses i want n wun land in TP IT. cz i dun hav much frenz, let alone buddies in TP. i m a 100% plain jane in TP. if i can do tt, i will choose ngee ann, cz my buddy is there, n hope my life is as colourful as hers now. but again, if i'm not in TP IT, i wun hav chance to work durin sip.

y i wanted to go back so far? bcz i duno y i choose some of my ex bf.. if i could, i shdnt join fish n co...a place where u cant earn much at all. u will spend more of ur savings den u can save for future.. i wun meet tt terrible guy n caused so many regrets in my life. but i cant complain tt i hav met someone hu treat mi well aft him. but someone whom i m not 100% in love with due to his big size appearance...cz i looked like his niece when we stand tgt. yes i do care abt appearance at times. but again, i m not a da mei nu so i shdnt tink or wanted much.

but gd ting from fish n co is...i get to noe more foreign frenz from indo, myanmar, vietnam, phil, msia. n oso e job exp. but there is none hu owas kp in touch w mi now.

tp.. a place i spent 3 lonely yrs. dislikes e lecturers.. dun hav much frenz thre.. owas alone during break.. force myself to eat alone at e canteen. dress like a nerd cz no trendy frenz w mi to change mi. owas hide in labs to surf net cz really no prgs.. crying alone at stairs due to family or r/s probs.. just nth thre for mi to miss e times i had there. i tink i will oni b grateful for e SIP they gav mi. sim lim sq. a messy place but a place to meet someone great. someone to b remembered. tts it.

carls jr. my 1st FT job. started very cheerful n full of prospect for mi tt time cz i m e pioneer batch n e oni gal mgment in e team. boss tink highly of mi cz i m v enthu to learn n org tings. bt somehow i met my hubby n started to get too involved in r/s n tings started to go wrong. ppl started to hav neg feedback on mi. n politics started to happen in most areas. i went HQ aft tt. tot i can hav sth new. though i m offered trainer position which need mi to interact with US ppl. i turned down n took up admin instead cz i lack of confident in myself. STUPID rite. hahaa.. but in e office, u can really see how politics is played. TERRIBLE. office only less den 10 ppl n yet its so messy. 10mnths n i quit.

now at gv. tot its fun. yes it is but depends on hu u worked with. everything was 'nice n peaceful' to mi till i go vivo. a place i see e true faces of most ppl. i referring to hq ppl. gettin more n more sian of e place bt i hav to move on. this is workin life. nid a job for my future. i hav to accept it.

ARh... wrote so much... but honestly, its not e my entire feelings cz public blog is nv a safe place to speak out real feelings. if i wan, i will chose those which hav private function or like msn space.. where i can choose ppl to view my blog. but i hav shut it down cz i wrote too much abt my hubby which is e past liao. OOps...hahah.. he noes it but i dun mind cz we r open to each other.

honestly, we r not e ones hu love e most in our lives but somehow we r used to hav each other in our lives which make it a habit for us. tink thre is a webbie which reali reflects life but i lost e link somehow cz its been yrs, i still hav it bt cant b view animore.
it says tt everyone will meet 4types of ppl.
1st = someone u love alot
2nd = someone he/she loved u alot
3rd = both love each other alot
4th = someone hu's not ur most loved but both love each other equally, hu is ur life partner.

yes mi n my hubby belongs to e 4th category.
but i tink i get e 3rd one wrong but i realli cant rem wat type is e 3rd one. but its really v long since i read e webbie so i cant recall.

k la, wrote long enuf.. so naggy rite... 4am n i havent slp. wat mama m i? haha... but i cant slp~!
take care folks~!
I WAS HERE @ 3:23 AM l 0Comment

Ar.. Really got sore throat liao.. mayb too long nv eat tt chilli den i add alot in e noodles which result my current state... jz tot i wanna fa xie by eating sth tt i havent eat for a long time n i shdnt eat at all. so vexed tt day.. heng hubby nv did sth tt i tot he will, if not i duno how to control my mood liao.. tink i better shut my mouth at work more liao, tot when nick left, n fion not ard, i tok lesser but seems like ppl still ask mi tok n tings get worst. got mi into misunderstanding.. both sides got wrong but i lazy to ask ani of them liao.. it jz make myself being trapped n dun feel gd. i shd b a happy mama~! n continue to do my count down.. i shall claim my marriage leave aft e rest is back in mid oct.. so i hav more rest when my stomach is bigger~!

hmm.. 2days off.. wat shd i do? tink i camp at home again.. esp now my throat is lidat.. wasted...
tot of goin punggol to find my mum toktok and see e babies..but i oso no face to see her cz havent giv her jia yong.. but how to giv when i havent even settle my bills... ArrH, y money owas not enuf... so envy hubby can buy new bag when he juz got his little pay... i nv stop him, cz its for his work, n he oso v long nv buy things for himself le ba.. n i aldy buy a pair of shoes for myself this mnth. but i still got lots to buy..esp clothes... now my cupboard got more clothes tt i cant wear compared to e limited ones i could wear now.. all r so dull..but maternity clothes r so ex... duno to get from sis again anot..but scare i spoil her clothes..esp she so fussy n borrow mi so many liao..

fan fan fan... canotcanot..nid to stay happy..if not next time bb wun b tt cheerful.hhaa.. but how to b cheerful when my house owas full of shouting?? dun get e wrong msg.. i mean my mother in law owas like to raise her voice when she tok, even others ask her simple qn, she oso ans in loud voice.. hubby sis was raised up by her so she oso tok in e same way...imagine i owas in e room but i noe wats happening outside.. cz all tok so loud.. sometimes oso waken up by them... n i hate it bcz last time my own house oso lidat..n mi n my sis cant stand my dad and mum when they r lidat.. y i moved to new house oso e same.. y cant have quiet moments... duno y m i still complaining when i noe things r lidat when i noe my hubby 2yrs ago..
I WAS HERE @ 1:41 PM l 0Comment