Monday, September 17, 2007

if i could turn back time

before i start my topic, i juz browsed one of my gd fren blog... she shut it down.. abit shocked but i guess i understand.. reason is easy.. blog is supposed to let ppl release/vet their views but some ppl juz make comments abt it.. be it good or bad. but since u decided to write one, esp in blogspot, u hav to b prepared for comments. ppl might read it n tok back behind u while some might hav diff view of u or some might even started to realise wat is goin wrong..

well, for this fren of mine, i tink she rec'd too much neg feedback abt her r/s, i mean her bf appearance ba.. if only she still check n hav her tag valid, i will tell her tt, to love someone, appearance is not e top priority. character is e one which matters. yes, i can tell her straight in her face tt her bf not yandao at all. but if he can treat her well, take gd care of her, make her happy n love her w all his heart, tt is enuf. everyone will grow old. everyone looks wrinkled n old one day. so wat if he/she is a georgous one now? bt nvm, diff ppl view it diff way... see how u accept ba..

juz like when ppl ask mi abt how my ex look like, or even wanted to see their face in friendsters, i m reluntact to show cz i can say tt i reali had bad taste in most of them. duno y i like them in e 1st place or even do stupid tings for them. tts y i m not tt sensitive to others remarks abt my bf cz i m used to it n when u love someone, other tings dont seems to matter at all.

k la, back to my topic liao..

juz came back frm geylang with hubby n his frenz. ate 12 durians among 6 of us. makin my hubby burps non stop now n i still cant burp at all. DiAoZzz.. On e way back, hubby slpin in e car while e other 4 r tokin.. mE? as usual.. dazing at e passin trees n buildings... i dun tok much to them.. 1st i dun speak dialects so i cant totally understand wat they tokin abt. 2nd, i dun join their outings alot. cz i m workin, else i m too tired after work. i duno y i juz start to tink, wat if i hav e chance/ability to turn back time?

at 1st i tot of turning to e time i doin my attachment.. den i tink i rather dun change anithin n accept my life now. den i started to tink if i could do tt, i will turn to e day i graduate from sec sch. but den i hope i can chnage my grades for O's of cz, hahaa.. if i could chnge tt, i can choose more courses i want n wun land in TP IT. cz i dun hav much frenz, let alone buddies in TP. i m a 100% plain jane in TP. if i can do tt, i will choose ngee ann, cz my buddy is there, n hope my life is as colourful as hers now. but again, if i'm not in TP IT, i wun hav chance to work durin sip.

y i wanted to go back so far? bcz i duno y i choose some of my ex bf.. if i could, i shdnt join fish n co...a place where u cant earn much at all. u will spend more of ur savings den u can save for future.. i wun meet tt terrible guy n caused so many regrets in my life. but i cant complain tt i hav met someone hu treat mi well aft him. but someone whom i m not 100% in love with due to his big size appearance...cz i looked like his niece when we stand tgt. yes i do care abt appearance at times. but again, i m not a da mei nu so i shdnt tink or wanted much.

but gd ting from fish n co is...i get to noe more foreign frenz from indo, myanmar, vietnam, phil, msia. n oso e job exp. but there is none hu owas kp in touch w mi now.

tp.. a place i spent 3 lonely yrs. dislikes e lecturers.. dun hav much frenz thre.. owas alone during break.. force myself to eat alone at e canteen. dress like a nerd cz no trendy frenz w mi to change mi. owas hide in labs to surf net cz really no prgs.. crying alone at stairs due to family or r/s probs.. just nth thre for mi to miss e times i had there. i tink i will oni b grateful for e SIP they gav mi. sim lim sq. a messy place but a place to meet someone great. someone to b remembered. tts it.

carls jr. my 1st FT job. started very cheerful n full of prospect for mi tt time cz i m e pioneer batch n e oni gal mgment in e team. boss tink highly of mi cz i m v enthu to learn n org tings. bt somehow i met my hubby n started to get too involved in r/s n tings started to go wrong. ppl started to hav neg feedback on mi. n politics started to happen in most areas. i went HQ aft tt. tot i can hav sth new. though i m offered trainer position which need mi to interact with US ppl. i turned down n took up admin instead cz i lack of confident in myself. STUPID rite. hahaa.. but in e office, u can really see how politics is played. TERRIBLE. office only less den 10 ppl n yet its so messy. 10mnths n i quit.

now at gv. tot its fun. yes it is but depends on hu u worked with. everything was 'nice n peaceful' to mi till i go vivo. a place i see e true faces of most ppl. i referring to hq ppl. gettin more n more sian of e place bt i hav to move on. this is workin life. nid a job for my future. i hav to accept it.

ARh... wrote so much... but honestly, its not e my entire feelings cz public blog is nv a safe place to speak out real feelings. if i wan, i will chose those which hav private function or like msn space.. where i can choose ppl to view my blog. but i hav shut it down cz i wrote too much abt my hubby which is e past liao. OOps...hahah.. he noes it but i dun mind cz we r open to each other.

honestly, we r not e ones hu love e most in our lives but somehow we r used to hav each other in our lives which make it a habit for us. tink thre is a webbie which reali reflects life but i lost e link somehow cz its been yrs, i still hav it bt cant b view animore.
it says tt everyone will meet 4types of ppl.
1st = someone u love alot
2nd = someone he/she loved u alot
3rd = both love each other alot
4th = someone hu's not ur most loved but both love each other equally, hu is ur life partner.

yes mi n my hubby belongs to e 4th category.
but i tink i get e 3rd one wrong but i realli cant rem wat type is e 3rd one. but its really v long since i read e webbie so i cant recall.

k la, wrote long enuf.. so naggy rite... 4am n i havent slp. wat mama m i? haha... but i cant slp~!
take care folks~!

I WAS HERE @ 3:23 AM l 0Comment