NaMe : AmBeR
Loves : AvErLyN
Hates : BiTchEs, LiArs, BeTraYaL
Fears : CoCkroAchEs
Weakness : Soft-hearted = FOOLISHNESS

:: get a car by 28 ::
:: get a car license by 26 ::
:: get a house by 26 ::
:: to weigh 45kg ::
:: to go swimming twice per month ::
:: get osim product for my parents ::
:: go for yoga lessons ::
:: go for holiday trips ::
:: to bake my first cake ::
:: go drinking once per month ::
:: to buy psp ::
:: start saving money ::
:: get promotion ::
:: to b blessed in my life ::

:: Agu ::
:: Christina ::
:: Esther ::
:: Geswin ::
:: Gracina ::
:: Hsien Yung ::
:: Hui Si ::
:: Jun Wei ::
:: Li Ting ::
:: Liwen ::
:: Wayne ::
:: Wei Ting ::
:: Yan Qi ::
:: Yan Wan ::
:: Yong Xing ::
:: Yuki ::

Melissa's Design

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tink i gettin more n more frustrated with frenz ard mi.
y everyone tink tt workin in gv is only hav 1 role to do?
which is, selling tix.
duh~! workin in cinema doesnt mean they oni have 1 position, which is sit there to sell tix oni lo..
den no one run the operation meh? no ppl clear hall no one play e movie no ppl sell food meh?

all those hi bye frenz i hav all tink i m just there sellin tix when i said i workin in gv.
i oso lazy to explain wat is my job abt... since they dun bother to ask in detail den i dun bother to explain. just let them tink i m there to sell tix at counter nia ba.

sometimes they juz irritate u so much tt i juz reply them in a rude way. some even ask mi, y i owas go vivo but u owas not at counter sellin tix, u sure u workin in gv vivo?

Arr... some patrons oso 'cute'. aiyo, u work in cinema sure got alot of free shows to watch hor? wat is nice huh?
omg.. everyweek for all the movie titles i see in e system. i oni watched 1 or 2? e rest i read from movie syopnsis.

when can ppl stop being so naive n tink further?! Arr~!
I WAS HERE @ 3:01 AM l 0Comment

my god.. its 5am n i still dun feel slpy at all.
i did not take ani aftnn nap too.. y still cant slp???
hubby slpt early today, at 2+am n he is down. by rite i shd b slpin too..but i tossed here n thre till 3+ n i giv up.. on pc again.. play some facebook games.. chat abit with sec sch.. n now i still writing blog again.. dun feel slpy at all..

my god... am i tinkin too much in my head? tink n worry abt tings tt i need to sort out be4 bb is out.. duno y tend to cry easily now. but of cz not infrnt of hubby but when i alone or he aslp. is it chan qian you yu zheng? not ba... i dun hav ani signs or nian tou tt i wan to end my life.. i dun torture myself. i still eat, though not much. i still slp but sometimes juz cant slp. tts it.. nth.. i still put on hapi face to work. oni tt i become v quiet at home.

had my dinner, or shd i say, my 1st proper meal of e day at 9pm. oni had some ice cream, oakmeal, bread for e whole day be4 tt. i m lazy to go down buy e same old food. tot hubby said we go out hav dinner since mama not cookin. but aft he was home at 7pm, his butt is stuck in front of pc again. i not tt super hungry so i waited for him to move. i noe he meeting alan they all tonite, so i tot its ard 10pm.. so juz as i took some chocolate n bread n started eating in e room. hubby ask mi y m i eatin when we r now goin down to meet them? n its 830pm. i looked at him, but i still continue to put my bread into my mouth. i told him off. i said u oni ask mi if i hungry liao n ttts it. since when u told mi to get ready down as they r at downstairs liao? still ask mi to put e bread into fridge, later den eat.
my god.. in e past, i can tahan till dun eat at all. now even when i dun feel like eating at all cz i no mood. i will still squeeze food into my mouth, juz for my bb. now u nv tell mi anithing but stop mi from eating?? i juz looked back at him n tell him i eat finish den change. cz its not my fault to take food to eat as he did not tell mi anithing be4hand.

fine, went down to sembawang 1036 for dinner again. duno y i hav nth to tok at all tonite. in fact i seldom tok when i go out with them. i noe they care abt us n they r fun but i hav no topic to tok to them. they owas tokin abt hp, cars etc. i noe nuts.. hubby busy playin hp game. i busy staring into e air?? n oso clearing my hp inbox.

on e way back, alan they all tokin abt having steamboat at their house this sun since i oso off. alan's wife, theresa oso tell mi tt if i wan ppl to acc to go ikea c bb tings she can acc mi. i m glad she offer but i purposely tell her tt i havent even settle bb stuffs, how to see tings to buy. tellin her my bb bed havent settle. tink hubby told her liao, she told mi tt my mom in law dun allow us to shift tings when i pregnant. i tell her, i nv heard of such strict rules. i oni heard at most i dun b at home ok liao. she oso giv mi e wu nai face. bt she told mi tt i will c tings arrange nicely aft i giv birth n back home. i tell her straight tt i wan to deco bb bed n stuff 1st.

upon meetin them, i realli wan to malu my hubby by tellin them how much he did all these while n wat rubbish myths his parents giv. i m piss off by the myth. thru out my 3 sisters pregnancy, its known tt we cant shift tings when e mama to be is ard, but where got even not ard oso cant shift?! den hw? everytin to b done oni aft bb is out? when bb out i aldy will b busy takin care of him, where got time to arrange, n let alone to deco for my precious bb??

weddin stuffs we listen to them cz they helpin us w e cost. now bb ting we r paying for ourselves, they dun nid to pay for us. y muz i listen to them?! sometiems i realli wan to move back my place n take care my bb with my mom. i doubt my hubby hav tink of ani name for our bb. i list out some eng names, he din say anithign. chinese names? he say leave it to their parents. yes i noe i will giv them for fortune teller but i m NOT goin to let them name my bb. duno hu r e real parents of e bb, y muz i let them decide everyting? i aldy piss off w e weddin plans they made for us tt time. my dinner oni can invite 3tables, n 3tables r shared amond mi n hubby. den his parents leh??22 tables r his parents de lo. invite his father colleague for wat? invite his father old sch mates for wat? his 2nd weddin or his son weddin? invite those ah pek whom i dun even noe hu is hu. dun even noe hu weddin r we attending. invite all these useless n unknown ppl to my wedding for wat? in e end i oni hav to accept everyting, cant invite many of my frenz. many ppl oni noe abt i m married much later. no face to ans y i nv invite some close ones.

shd hav took another option tt time instead of gettin married.

juz becz i wan to giv a family for my bb den i get married. damn..its juz makin myself living so unhappy now n so uncomfortable. now tings become like i hv no one to turn to. cz e one hu is supposed to b there for mi, did ask mi to share prob but he seems doin nth but playing games n sometimes raise his voice at mi when i wanted to share my opinion. in this new family, i oni hav my bb with mi. e rest? i cant wait to move to my own house which i wan to get in a few yrs time.

i still hav 4more off days to go. omg. wat can i do to kill my time? i wanted to take tings from my sis n start packing. but how to pack when e parents tell us some stupid myths? expect mi to throw everyting on e floor for them to pack when i lying in e hosp? how i wish i can complain all these to my family. but i noe i cant. if i said, they will worried for mi.

damn damn damn.. ppl says i did gd deeds to help mi to hav such a smooth pregnancy time compared to other mama to b. i dun vomit. i dun hav cramps, i dun hav swollen legs, i dun hav super fat figure, my face did not breakdown. but i do not hav gd life in my new family.
realli hope my bb dun hav such a rough hands like mi. rough hands = tough life. it doesnt pay off to b someone with gd temper. in this world, tings r owas unfair.

ar...still nt slpy yet. m still havin alot of gas in my stomach. keep fartin now. dun laugh o.. fart w/o smell. haha.. pregnant woman tink to hav alot of gas inside. n + i hav too much angry n unhappy gas inside tt i nid to release. ar.......i hav to slp~!! oni left 5hrs to slp be4 work~!!!!
I WAS HERE @ 5:08 AM l 0Comment

ar....this is oni my 1st off day for this week.. i still have 4more to go fron thur onwards.. omg..how m i goin to spend my time?? if i hav all my bb stuff at home, of cz i got ting to so but too bad... bed is not ready yet.. bb cabinet is not ready yet.. n i oni left w less den 2mnths to do all these..

had a little arguement with hubby as i wanted to shift furniture of our room, so tt i can place bb bed in our small small room. realli dun feel like putting my bb in another room which i noe i cant slp well in esp aft i juz giv birth. duno hubby understnad e difficulties i will face if i slp there anot..

broke down tt nite when he happened to come home at e 'rite' time. tellin mi not to hide anithing inside but to share w him. now he noe i m worried e space, but he seems not to do anithing abt it.. i waited for a few days later den i ask again abt e space. in e end he angry again.. said he get scolded from papa cz he said we cant shift furniture when my stomach is so big. but i nv heard be4.. oni noe i cant b home when they shiftin tings but nv heard be4 we cant shift tings even when i not at home. sian......den muz i wait till bb is born den can shift? den how can i decorate bb bed when i m in hosp tt time? how can i hang bb toys n place them in e bed..
i still hav lots of bb clothes tt i havent bring home. but no place. how can i dun worried abt all these... how can we do all these aft bb is born oni? does my hubby feel worried abt it as well? to mi, he juz sittin infront of pc playin games everyday. askin mi to share my tots w him but yet he get fed up when i mentioned tings i worried abt. so shd i still share my probs w him?

ppl says mama to b hav to b cheerful bt i dun feel like one. smetimes q irritated when bb kick non stop till i cant slp well no matter on bed or in train. but i noe this is sth tt not everyone can hav it. n i shd cherish it. so i noe can keep sayang'ing my bb when my stomach gets out of shape. now i start to fear to giv birth. scare tt he not ard when i nid him. scare of e pain.. scare of being a mama when i stay in somewhere tt i still dun feel comfortable in aft 2+yrs. juz miss my own family so much. at least they r e ones owas askin mi how m i copin..givin mi advise n items tt i need. whenever i meet them up, i feel so warmth. dun bear to leave them when i noe its time to do so.

sian... dun tok abt bb liao.. tink i clarify w my parents abt e furniture tings 1st.. sometimes really feel so uncomfortable w e weird customs his parents say.

tok abt work? omg.. even more boring.. sch holi coming liao.. but i oni b workin ten days when tt happen n i will b away for 3mnths.. now can start counting down e days tt i will stil b workin at vivo.. seein ppl ard mi startin to giv birth, it juz makes mi more nervous. 1 fren juz gav birth last week but now she is facin some prob w breast feeding.. now still got 3more frenz to go, 2 in nov n 1 in dec. den my turn.. its like so fast. i cant stop tinkin of e procedure tt i will b in when i m in hosp. can i cope w bb? can i get along w mum in law? hai.....

tink i m escapin at work too. sometimes juz nice i was not ard when got complain comes in. sometimes i not e one replyin walkie.. so juz nice i dun nid to handle them. but it make mi feel not to handle ani more complaints.. duno will affect bb anot.. owas let patron scold.. scold mi = scold my bb.. now i been tryin to do mroe gd tings, haha.. but i will still continue to disturb staffs. hahaa.. i owas handlin lost n found items but when it happened to mi, i duno wat to do, haha. i was in e cab w hubby to go ah ma house, den we heard a ringtone but not from us. i tot its drivre one so i nv bother abt it. but when i was e last one to alight. i felt sth dropped. saw it was a hp. den i realised its a phone. i stone thre.. duno to do wat. but i juz pass e hp to driver, sayin its left behind by previous passenger. DIAO~! n i still rem my hubby lost his 1st o2 phone in a cab too. y i so honest? tink e driver oso will keep it too. hai.. but nvm, at least i returned it to e driver. i wun feel gulity or bad. haha..

k la.. wrote so long again...still watchin gong zhu xiao mei.. bored to death. mom in law not at home. house v quiet. someting i like too, haha... no prog for later.. stone stone stone..ar~!!
I WAS HERE @ 4:05 PM l 0Comment

Life...

Y is it so unpredicatble?? Sometimes just a wrong step, n u hav to accept ur mistake n move on with e step u took... While some cant even choose their own life..cz fate hav decided for them.

2days ago, i received a shocking news.. but still, i hav to do my work n leave e tinkin to b done when i m home. one of my fish n co colleague diagnosed with liver cancer..somemore its last stage. hmm.. this fren of mine, used to b my gd fren n enemy be4.. gd fren as in to work hard for company be4, go drinkin, pool n supper. enemy as in he did tok bad behind mi, which caused us cold war for quite sometime. but aft sometime, we somehow back to frenz again..but not tt close animore.

but i like his personality. he is forever cheerful, le guan.. whenever he see his frenz, no matter gd or juz normal fren on street or work, he will greet them wholeheartedly.. but bad ting is, once he fall in love, he will b madly in love.. n occupy her alot.

but den.. such a cheerful person is diagnosed with such a illness.. furthermore he oni 23 this yr.
tink this is e 1st time tt one of my fren get cancer. other den tt e closest one will b my father.. duno y my life nid to go thru much more up n down compared to others.. so envy others living so happily with no worries.. y i have to plan more further den others?

eg, i tot i noe v little abt delivering, pregnancy stuffs cz i owas ask ard for advise. but when i happened to chat with one of my sec sch fren abt his sis-in-law. i realised tt they all havent prepared tings for e baby n e baby is comin within a month time. oni when i told her wat to do den she start preparing.. but on e other side, i tot i can plan things according for my baby, my sis shoot mi back.. tellin mi wat i havent do n nid to do now.. make mi feel tt i m not ready at all.

mayb its e environment tt matters ba... since young i mixed ard with ppl hu r much older den mi. my youngest sis is older den mi 6yrs liao.. since young learnt to b independent cz family owas not at home, so i owas alone at home, lookin for my own activity to fill up my time. even go to sec sch liao, i found myself cant click v well with many frenz.. cz i owas wonder y they play until lidat.. y cant they grow up abit etc... even go poly oso tink lidat. even i go to my 1st job, i oso mixed better with e mgment... eh eh.. i dun mean i po them hor.. its cz i owas ask him y things r lidat, how to manage tings, how to handle ppl.. cz i dun wan my job juz to earn money n serve ppl, i wan to learn more tings tt r not within my job area. thus i learn many of their life stories n exp from them.

i tink tts is y ppl start to mistook mi as a older person compared to my actual age. duno its gd or bad. but sometimes i realli wan to b someone to b pampered.. but too bad,... now my hubby is somenoe hu duno how to pamper ppl.. diao~

tok abt my hubby. sian.....tonite i m goin to visit my mama.. tot i m v eexcited..bt when my sis askin y hubby nv tag along i m sian halfway.. cz i noe he wun come but i oso noe my sis oso wanted him to acc mi....i cant make everyone happy.. trapped again... duno when will my hubby willing to go with mi.. oni noe how to drag mi to his grandma house but not acc mi to my plce.... ar.....

k la.. tok long liao.. nid to prepare to go punggol..

take care folks~
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