NaMe : AmBeR
Loves : AvErLyN
Hates : BiTchEs, LiArs, BeTraYaL
Fears : CoCkroAchEs
Weakness : Soft-hearted = FOOLISHNESS

:: get a car by 28 ::
:: get a car license by 26 ::
:: get a house by 26 ::
:: to weigh 45kg ::
:: to go swimming twice per month ::
:: get osim product for my parents ::
:: go for yoga lessons ::
:: go for holiday trips ::
:: to bake my first cake ::
:: go drinking once per month ::
:: to buy psp ::
:: start saving money ::
:: get promotion ::
:: to b blessed in my life ::

:: Agu ::
:: Christina ::
:: Esther ::
:: Geswin ::
:: Gracina ::
:: Hsien Yung ::
:: Hui Si ::
:: Jun Wei ::
:: Li Ting ::
:: Liwen ::
:: Wayne ::
:: Wei Ting ::
:: Yan Qi ::
:: Yan Wan ::
:: Yong Xing ::
:: Yuki ::

Melissa's Design

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my god.. its 5am n i still dun feel slpy at all.
i did not take ani aftnn nap too.. y still cant slp???
hubby slpt early today, at 2+am n he is down. by rite i shd b slpin too..but i tossed here n thre till 3+ n i giv up.. on pc again.. play some facebook games.. chat abit with sec sch.. n now i still writing blog again.. dun feel slpy at all..

my god... am i tinkin too much in my head? tink n worry abt tings tt i need to sort out be4 bb is out.. duno y tend to cry easily now. but of cz not infrnt of hubby but when i alone or he aslp. is it chan qian you yu zheng? not ba... i dun hav ani signs or nian tou tt i wan to end my life.. i dun torture myself. i still eat, though not much. i still slp but sometimes juz cant slp. tts it.. nth.. i still put on hapi face to work. oni tt i become v quiet at home.

had my dinner, or shd i say, my 1st proper meal of e day at 9pm. oni had some ice cream, oakmeal, bread for e whole day be4 tt. i m lazy to go down buy e same old food. tot hubby said we go out hav dinner since mama not cookin. but aft he was home at 7pm, his butt is stuck in front of pc again. i not tt super hungry so i waited for him to move. i noe he meeting alan they all tonite, so i tot its ard 10pm.. so juz as i took some chocolate n bread n started eating in e room. hubby ask mi y m i eatin when we r now goin down to meet them? n its 830pm. i looked at him, but i still continue to put my bread into my mouth. i told him off. i said u oni ask mi if i hungry liao n ttts it. since when u told mi to get ready down as they r at downstairs liao? still ask mi to put e bread into fridge, later den eat.
my god.. in e past, i can tahan till dun eat at all. now even when i dun feel like eating at all cz i no mood. i will still squeeze food into my mouth, juz for my bb. now u nv tell mi anithing but stop mi from eating?? i juz looked back at him n tell him i eat finish den change. cz its not my fault to take food to eat as he did not tell mi anithing be4hand.

fine, went down to sembawang 1036 for dinner again. duno y i hav nth to tok at all tonite. in fact i seldom tok when i go out with them. i noe they care abt us n they r fun but i hav no topic to tok to them. they owas tokin abt hp, cars etc. i noe nuts.. hubby busy playin hp game. i busy staring into e air?? n oso clearing my hp inbox.

on e way back, alan they all tokin abt having steamboat at their house this sun since i oso off. alan's wife, theresa oso tell mi tt if i wan ppl to acc to go ikea c bb tings she can acc mi. i m glad she offer but i purposely tell her tt i havent even settle bb stuffs, how to see tings to buy. tellin her my bb bed havent settle. tink hubby told her liao, she told mi tt my mom in law dun allow us to shift tings when i pregnant. i tell her, i nv heard of such strict rules. i oni heard at most i dun b at home ok liao. she oso giv mi e wu nai face. bt she told mi tt i will c tings arrange nicely aft i giv birth n back home. i tell her straight tt i wan to deco bb bed n stuff 1st.

upon meetin them, i realli wan to malu my hubby by tellin them how much he did all these while n wat rubbish myths his parents giv. i m piss off by the myth. thru out my 3 sisters pregnancy, its known tt we cant shift tings when e mama to be is ard, but where got even not ard oso cant shift?! den hw? everytin to b done oni aft bb is out? when bb out i aldy will b busy takin care of him, where got time to arrange, n let alone to deco for my precious bb??

weddin stuffs we listen to them cz they helpin us w e cost. now bb ting we r paying for ourselves, they dun nid to pay for us. y muz i listen to them?! sometiems i realli wan to move back my place n take care my bb with my mom. i doubt my hubby hav tink of ani name for our bb. i list out some eng names, he din say anithign. chinese names? he say leave it to their parents. yes i noe i will giv them for fortune teller but i m NOT goin to let them name my bb. duno hu r e real parents of e bb, y muz i let them decide everyting? i aldy piss off w e weddin plans they made for us tt time. my dinner oni can invite 3tables, n 3tables r shared amond mi n hubby. den his parents leh??22 tables r his parents de lo. invite his father colleague for wat? invite his father old sch mates for wat? his 2nd weddin or his son weddin? invite those ah pek whom i dun even noe hu is hu. dun even noe hu weddin r we attending. invite all these useless n unknown ppl to my wedding for wat? in e end i oni hav to accept everyting, cant invite many of my frenz. many ppl oni noe abt i m married much later. no face to ans y i nv invite some close ones.

shd hav took another option tt time instead of gettin married.

juz becz i wan to giv a family for my bb den i get married. damn..its juz makin myself living so unhappy now n so uncomfortable. now tings become like i hv no one to turn to. cz e one hu is supposed to b there for mi, did ask mi to share prob but he seems doin nth but playing games n sometimes raise his voice at mi when i wanted to share my opinion. in this new family, i oni hav my bb with mi. e rest? i cant wait to move to my own house which i wan to get in a few yrs time.

i still hav 4more off days to go. omg. wat can i do to kill my time? i wanted to take tings from my sis n start packing. but how to pack when e parents tell us some stupid myths? expect mi to throw everyting on e floor for them to pack when i lying in e hosp? how i wish i can complain all these to my family. but i noe i cant. if i said, they will worried for mi.

damn damn damn.. ppl says i did gd deeds to help mi to hav such a smooth pregnancy time compared to other mama to b. i dun vomit. i dun hav cramps, i dun hav swollen legs, i dun hav super fat figure, my face did not breakdown. but i do not hav gd life in my new family.
realli hope my bb dun hav such a rough hands like mi. rough hands = tough life. it doesnt pay off to b someone with gd temper. in this world, tings r owas unfair.

ar...still nt slpy yet. m still havin alot of gas in my stomach. keep fartin now. dun laugh o.. fart w/o smell. haha.. pregnant woman tink to hav alot of gas inside. n + i hav too much angry n unhappy gas inside tt i nid to release. ar.......i hav to slp~!! oni left 5hrs to slp be4 work~!!!!
I WAS HERE @ 5:08 AM l 0Comment