Friday, November 30, 2007

17days to go~!

OMG.. just 17days.. and all thx to my sun nu for reminding mi, otherwise i oso wun go n see the reading i have on top of my blog.. hahaa

basically, i hav pack my bag to bring to hosp liao, oni lack 1 or 2 stuffs which i gonna buy later if i find it. yst oso pack all the boxes liao, so everything consider ready le ba.. just nid to clean up the room and go amk to take somemore stuffs, so pray hard tt my baby is obedient enuff to let her mama finish everything den come out to this world. tink of cleaning the room, i felt so sian.. but no choice.. who will help mi if i dun do it myself.. i will never rely on my hubby to do. cz he oni noe how to mess the room and play games.

known to some, i m on my maternity leave liao~!! haha.. today is the 4th day..hehe.. so far still dun miss work cz i busy to prepare my things. abit fed up when my mum in law asked mi to work till i giv birth. and she told mi tt on my last day of work. so wats e pt? when all my leave are confirmed. i juz yin chou her by nodding my head. cz no one will understand how my job runs.. mine is not a office job whereas i can leave anitime i wan. every single chnages to our applied leave will affect each other. cant ask mi to work until my waterbag burst den i say sayonara to all and our roster got to change last min and everyone plans nid to adjust cz of mi.. of cz i cant do tt la.. but nvm, i m used of other ppl not understanding abt my job. even my family take some time to figure. hahaa.. cz watever i do since sec sch, they owas dun understand.

for example, i took up chinese dance since i was 10. den i owas attend classes, be it its sch activities or community centres, i owas busy with performances and my family forever duno y dancin take up so much of my time. so they everyday nag n nag until one day, when i was 17? i totally giv up dancing as i cant felt ani teamwork in my c.centre and i need to work so i cant comit animore. den they start asking, y i nv go for dance liao.. i was like... its u all who kp questioning me y i go dance n now i stopped, den u all ask mi y i quit. siao... maybe they start to noe more abt dance when they went for my performance. which is like..aft i danced for 6yrs den they 1st saw me performing? how 'supporting' if my family as u can see rite..

well well.. how hav i been spending my off days.. 1st day = watch enchanted at bishan with hubby n his frenz. average show.. mayb becz be4 e show i hav some conflicts w my hubby ba. but actually i oso heck care him. he oso tood. keep disturbing me when i m toking to a staff. so rude. so i juz reply him all ans in a rude way n show him my black face. i was aldy emotional unstable be4 meeting him due to some reasons den i more piss when he told mi now change to 5ppl watching when i go n get vip from ber n fion liao.. waste 1 tix.. but whenever he black face, he dun tok i oso dun disturb him. so his frenz all askin mi wat happened, i oni tell them briefly.. all of them noe his weird temper de la.. a big boy.

2nd day = meet up with kris n jen. we went to hav mala steamboat at bugis. finally i get to eat my mala.. tt time gathering with some colleagues we went there too but all of them choose to hav ckn soup as the base.. so this time i hav my mala, hahaa.. so hapi~! hehe.. we eat v slowly but we nv waste food. so we gossip gossip, den when we left, i met lilin. so zhun.. i juz sms her abt her new job n oso tryin to ask how is her family doin. den she is juz infront of mi, haha.. gdgd, so we chatted n update all news again.. aft tt we all went for desserts which is a few stalls away.. comments is.. soso lo.. not tt nice to eat.. but nvm.. we not fussy, n soon we went back liao.

3rd day= actually meeting up w huisi aft i put her birdie on tue. but i had backache when i woke up. duno isit becz i walked too long e nite be4 n i feel v tired.. so i tell her tt i cancel it again..so paiseh.. tue actually meetin her but my stupid hubby forget and ask mi to go movie. he forever nv listen to wat i said. sometimes i realli pissed off when i told him where i m goin e next day and he nv listen n still ask mi on e day itself. i so piss to repeat n repeat myself n he juz dun learn his lesson. his fren oso can rem tt i meeting fren on tue, tts y she puzzled y i can meet them for movie. again tt nite aft movie, i told him i meetin kris e next day, yet he askin mi where i go on e actual day. i duno if i m toking to a wall anot. tts y when i wan to find chance to hav a tok w him, i duno if ther is a need when he cant listen in to watever i say. all he noe is to play his new game 'seal'.

i aldy ren ming liao.. being married bt i felt like a single mum. everything do myself. being married juz to wear tt stupid ring on our fingers. tot i get married is to giv my bb a complete family. yes it is physically but i dun seems to receive ani extra care n concern from hubby. sometimes wonder if he noe i m pregnant n he gonna b a father anot. if he so heck care, den wat for so determine to giv mi all promises n firm to get married in e 1st place. but nvm, once decision is made, one shall not turn back n regret. since i chose it this way, i got to ans for all my action. juz pray he get better when bb is out. even his gd fren, a mother too, tell mi to take care of myself cz she noe my hubby type.. nv grow up. both of us are 'single mum' cz her hubby too busy w work and mine is dun care anithing. but at least her hubby cares n listen to her..haha..

well.. tink i goin back to slp.. duno y i juz woke up so early today.. 4+am once den 9+ now. duno isit a hint tt bb is coming, ahaha.. she kickin mi more often at nite liao... sometimes feel a little bit of pain too.. but nvm, shun qi zi ran..haha.. sekali this is my last post be4 i giv birth~! omg~!!!!

so excited~!

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

useless bum...when can he b out of my sight

Arr... just fa xie to kris about this useless bum in my house.. but still v hot inside...
i duno y i cant slp last nite, so woke up at 3 to go pee.. hu noes when i stepped outside, saw his useless brother took out my bb new mattress, w e cover on, slpin on it in e living room. wa~! fed up.. realli wan to go over n kick him out of my bb bed..as if he cant slp on e sofa..go out whole day shd slp in his room ma.. wa lau.. slp outside.. on my bb bed n use phone oso nv put back n slp.. fei ren yi ge.

kris oso ask mi cool down..but aft i told her how his bro did all these while, tink she will understand y i dun wan my bb to have anithing to do w this useless bum.. i make sure he stay away from my baby.. juz hear tt he asking his mom to cook something for him cz he realli hungry.. wth rite? cant cook n find things to eat meh.. his mum busy preparing dinner n take care of kids n still have to entertain him? he realli treating his mum like his maid. but wat to do? his mum dote him so much.. i dun want to say anithing.

dun tok abt him liao..dun tink i wil tell my hubby abt it too..its either he says i too sensitive or he will make a fuss outside.. which will oni increase headache to his parents.

watched Beowulf with yali in e morning cz she pon sch..diao...tink staffs in gv like to pon sch alot..ahhaha.. hmm... movie soso.. storyline is lously.. had some burger be4 she send mi to my checkup.. lucky she is ard.. cz its raining.. at least someone keep mi companied for e day..
well.. as for my checkup, duno y this time waited so long.. abt 30mins to my turn though i turned up on time for my appt. finally bb is over 2kg..she is now 2.1kg.. i gained 1.5kg over 2weeks~! still hav at least 1 more kg for my bb to gain within 1 mnth time.. omg.. so stress.. had take small meals every 2hrs yesterday lo.. my stomach was like goin to burst liao.. but force myself to kp eating.. had some testing yesterday.. tink i had some infection but doc says it wun affect bb... n he test if my cervis open abit liao anot.. its pain when he testing it, make mi bleed abit lo.. but nth leh, cervis not open yet..so it heng ba.. bb not comin out so soon..haha..

wel..yesterday at least i hav things to do..but today like super bored.. nth to do.. cant go over amk to pack thigns too cz no one to help mi carry e big box out.. i cant select clothes to bring back..hai.. hubby nv offer help to go over take.. it suppose to b my family hu dislike him more den he dislike them lo... but my family owas treat him well... duno wat he tinkin la..

tokin to ah si abt him now.. i tink i try not to tok so much abt hubby.. it juz make mi feel tt he is doing nth for mi n our bb... though it is a fact he nv do much for us too... but i cant tell my family abt it.. so trapped...

bb kicking again.. tink i go rest abit 1st ba.. to kill time too.. later den continue cleaning e room... yesterday clean abit.. today leh................ i wanted to pack bb tings to e boxes we bought on sun but its not washed yet..tink his mum no time to wash too.. n i noe hubby wun wash one. so i tink i wash myself when they went back to their rooms or go out later ba....

ar... sian sian sian.. tml will b my last stretch of working days to my maternity leave.. duno if e gift card thingy will cock up anot.. lets pray hard~!!

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Painful Oooo

AR..... duno y she is kickin mi so badly now... cant stop frowning now... but i'm not bleeding, my waterbag nv bust.. i m not goin to deliver now, but y is she kickin mi so hard now~! can c my stomach keep moving non stop.. Goosh..cant even enjoy playing games peacefully now... i still got 1 more week to go be4 i finally on leave for my maternity.. so pls cooperate wit mi k..

nan dao she wans mi to lie on my bed e whole day? even i lie down she oso kick non stop... now i aldy in relaxing position when using pc liao.. 2nd chair we bought at ikea liao... this is much better den e previous one le.. but she still not happy ar?? feelin q full now but i m still wondering what to eat.. cz my bb is still v small.. oni 1.75kg 2weeks ago.. tml i shall noe how much she gain now. hopefully pass 2kg le.. if nt i m v worried y she so small.. n i oni left w 1 month to my due date.
i m aldy so stress over this matter... yesterday aft goin to his grandma place for her bday.. when his aunties noe bb oni 1.75, all kp asking me to eat n eat.. i oso noe.. i aldy try to eat more den usual meals... sometimes stomach full liao but i juz kp stuffing food to eat.. omg.. cant imagine how much weight i will gain within this month. but i have no choice. seeing the rate she kick mi so hard.. realli cant help worrying she be out much earlier but her weight is so light.. average bb is abt 3kg when born.. n i still hav 1+more kg to go.. my god... i aldy feeling pain at times when i walk ard.. esp the lower tummy.. have to hold my stomach when i walked... i oso cnat juz sit in e office c e cctv.. even if its quiet, i oso feel awkward to sit in office whole day. but now i tink i no choice liao.. more n more painful nowadays.. today teresa tot my feet start to swollen, scares mi xia... but actually dun have.. i aldy drink v little water at nite liao.. dun wan my feet to b like elephant feet... not to mention cramps.. but i m quite lucky.. till now oni 2cramps.. only the 1st time v pain, 2nd time still ok. but e after effect last abt 2-3days to wear off. frenz kp tellin mi their cramps v painful. some pain till grab hubby. my hubby juz say, even i cramp i oso wun grab him cz he owas in another room playing his MU. diao~!

wat if one day my bag bust n i too pain to go over n call him? hahaa.. duno wat to say him too. last time say wan to go japan w his relatives next yr, now say wan to have potluck this xmas.. but he owas kena scolded by teresa they all.. he like forget his bb is out liao by then. nan dao throw mi alone at home meh? i havent tell him my problems lo... today we solve abit by getting the boxes to put clothes liao. next 2days which r my off days, i shall tidy the room. sth tt i dun wan to do esp my movement is restricted now. no choice. i dun wan when i go deliver den when they shift my room, all r dust ard. not tt i nv clean e room but problem is... the rom get dust v fast n i duno y? we live in lvl 10 liao lo... oni 2-3days u can spot dust liao... how to clean??? nvm.. tml if his mum wash e boxes liao, i will store bb clothes. clean the tv conso.. pc desk.. his mum jz pass mi more bb things today.. i have yet to prepare my bag to bring to hospital when e time arrive.

xueli juz call mi n ask mi standby sms for my hubby to send them when i goin to hospital.. haha..v true.. i shall standby 2 for him. 1 to tell others i juz admit to hosp, 2nd is to tell others bb is born liao..hahaaa.. n oso a list of things to remind hubby wat to do when i go for delivering... i havent get afew more things for myself n bb but now i m too broke liao.. spent TOO much on food this month. esp there are q afew outing with colleagues this time. aldy over 100 bucks liao.. i haven buy camera for bb too.. o goosh... payday faster come. aft i left for my maternity leave n maybe e outing with xueli they al, i realli stay at home dun go out liao..

hmmm..lastly.. abt my bb name.. tot of calling her Averil Pang Rui Xin. but i owas scare i pronounce Averil wrongly.. so cant confirm using tt but i like it.. cz not much ppl use tt..haha.. n its not girlish... as for chinese name.. i tink i got to give up. hubby juz told mi tt because he is e eldest son.. eldest grandson in the family line (frm his grandma to his father den to hubby) so names are decided by his family.. cz the middle name have to b the same for the next generation. u believe tt?~! craps... y his family so superstitious? wedding stuff aldy make tings so troublesome till my family cant stand liao.. den soon abt shifting of my tv conso..even i not at home oso cant shift. now even names oso i cant decide. y this family lidat.. if can, my kids wun nid to follow all these rules. now dun nid to worry abt chinese name. when bb born den give them calculate lo... dun giv mi awful name can liao.. if giv her awful name, i sure make noise liao. afterall she is my bb, i m her mother, i m the closest kin to her, not them.

kk, shall stop here.. see if i can find food to eat more.. n she is starting to kick mi hard again.. ar..pain~! cant imagine how i gonna tahan e pain when i give birth.. v worried abt the pain i nid to go thru.. n still duno if i will take epidural anot.. all askin mi not to take due to e side effect when i grow old. but when i tink of the pain..omg.. ppl ard mi like all taking... hope i can take the pain.. got to stop now~! ARR...

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Friday, November 09, 2007

'Gracious' Singaporeans

Tired~!
So long nv been so busy at outlet. Mayb cz i just come to work on time den go up europa to help straight away. i was sweating a little aft e crowd die... n i oni pop 2-3times popcorn, cook hotdogs n take drinks n top up cups/lids nia n i sweat?! lously mi, hahaa..

soon, went to box to help. actually i oni wan to pass e box notice to someone to put up for patrons to see tt we r full house. in e end saw bking q super long, suan le, i shall open e last ctr to help out cz i m trying to maintain cool, tok too loud n much will disturb my bb ma. in e end, i help to clear q n take over hy n fizah for them to hav breaks. tot everything is q ok, except feelin gulity to let a mother get scolded by an ang mo as he tot she cut q n took much of his time. tried explaining to him when he is queuing. luckily e mother is gd tempered n e ang mo is ok. tot i hav a nice smoothin time den this stupid family of 4 came. e 2 sons were tokin to their parents (with their head facing mi) as if they were at construction site. super loud. make mi so irritated esp e parents cant decide wat movie to watch. told them all v pack n tell them take evening sessions, still there tkain their own time with their sons toking so loud. i have to shout louder den e kids n buai tahan. i juz tell off e father by sayin ' so what movie u wan now and can u ask ur son not to tok so loud?' tok till i so fed up n out of breath.

lucky aft this grp, fizah is back frm break. i finally can go rest esp aft i used so much breath to tok so loud. bb kickin mi non stop aft tt. tink she is protesting tt i disturbing her. in e end i rest in office for more den an hr as she still kicking v hard.
tts not e worst. i m hungry liao. i oni had some porridge at 1pm n its 5pm den. so hungry.. tot can start ordering food with ling. but too bad, yl aldy tabao beef noodles for they 2, miss out mine. but nvm, i dun like beef too. so i waited for crowd to die n find ppl buy cz ling discourage mi to go up n buy myself as its muz b v crowded. den i waited n waited till 730pm. i was aldy havin slight gastric liao. couldnt find anione free to buy for mi. realli piss inside. i noe i cant tahan till i reach wdlands den hav my dinner. bo bian, die die force sun zi to buy for mi. otherwise i duno i will juz walk off to buy maggi or go up buy myself. wan to hungry till cry liao.. bb kickin like mad inside, make mi feel so uncomfortable.

tink my mood getting worst again. been having bad tots every now n den. keep tinkin i get tripped in train or other place. being bump by others. etc etc. juz bad things tt will hurt my bb. den kp thinking my future, as in bb. so headache n worried. hubby still playin games though he did show concern sometimes. but i juz feel tt its not enuf. owas feel tt i m alone handling my bb n my issues.

forget abt it. lets tok abt e topic. today i met gd ppl. to n fro vivo n my place, all got ppl stand up to giv mi seats. but not yesterday. i have to stand from woodlands till like bishan? den a malay lady ask mi to sit. pls dun tink she is so kind. she board e train at woodlands w mi, she long time had a seat n can even walk here n there to tok to her auntie? tink she realise tt i been standin so long n havent get down den ask mi sit. tot i can finally rest my legs as i m irritated by e teenage gal standing beside mi. bag so big n juz dun wan to stand properly. kp standing in those pose tt she tink its cool. duno how worried m i tt she might juz lose her balance n hit mi esp e train is packed. she stepped on my shoes, of cz my toe pain la, she said sorry bt i diao her. cz she juz dun wan to hold on to a pole n i kp lookin at her fren to hint her tt i cant stnad her.

nvm, i sit down liao.. tot i can rest till dhoby ghaut. who noes at toa payoh, which means i oni sit for 2stops. an old lady came in. sway sway she stand infront of mi, holding to e pole beside my seat. i was like... y this time.. y in front of mi. e lady hu giv seat to mi oso juz had an extra seat tt she took it aft i sit down. but she busy tokin to her fren beside her. den e old lady juz stand there. she nv look at mi or hint mi but i felt so uncomfortable n was realli hoping e lady giv up her seat for her. but nv. suan le. i stood up offer my seat to e old lady. see her oso cant balance well. den i went back to stand at e original spot. btw, i forget to mention tt in my cabin, e ppl hu r seating r all young ppl/adults. not much elderly ppl.

OMG~! singaporeans r tt gracious. a 8+months pregnant woman have to giv seat to an elderly woman becz she standin infront of mi or bcz e rest are blind?! how shameful i felt to b a part of this so call gd country. sometimes juz hate to take train bcz i hate to c these ppl. yes, there r ppl givin mi seats but tts nt all e time. most of e time i try to fight for my own or if i hav time, i purposely go to raffles place to take e empty train. cz i hate to force myself to stand in e middle n wait for ppl to stand up n giv mi seat. heard from elaine tt she had to ask ppl to giv up their seat herself. my god.. juz hate to take train..but no choice.. take cab too ex.. hubby no car on his own. he oso not like his fren hu is so totful. i still hav to tabao food for hubby. tidy room for him. iron clothes for him.

ARggg...... sian~! y smrt not innovative like other countries? y cant they design a cabin juz for pregnant woman or elderly ppl? mayb juz e 1st cabin specially for this grp of ppl. den if got ppl misuse e cabin, we can chase them off. so hard meh... kp askin ppl to giv more bb but yet e ppl r not friendly towards pregnant woman.. dun even noe if they remember they r once pregnant be4 or their parents got teach them anot. or do they hav a mother anot?

sian sian sian......nvm.. juz less den 13days of work n i shall take lesser trains...
ar.....goin to slp liao.. bb kp kickin v pain... more n more frequent these days.. so scare she come out much much earlier.no pls... i hope she come out when she is at least 3kg~ i still hav 1.25kg to go~!!!

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Monday, November 05, 2007

counting down again

Juz had my monthly checkup w my gynae. now its no longer 1mnth o..it will become 2 weeks instead.. which mean my dd is drawing closer n closer~! my god.. nervous or fear as i mentioned in my previous blog entry?

i finally opened my mouth to ask mum in law to wash bb clothes for mi. den started to talk abit abt bb too. aft tellin her wat i nid n wat we intend to buy, she told mi this n tt dun nid to buy de.. so in fact, its like i hav nth to buy. n i hope tings r realli r simple when e bb is out. so now i juz left my own stuffs to buy? i hope so, tts wat she says. even told mi not to store my milk in e fridge. i was like huh? den wat if i no milk n bb wans to drink if i cant store them in e fridge to standby? hmm... i hav no idea le o...

i guessed i hav to open my mouth more n more now... if not i will b miserable at home alone with her...
n she aldy prepared some stuff for mi liao.. saw all e new 'gloves' n 'socks' hanging at e window..alll pink~! doc oso say its a gal. but oni can very confirm when bb is born~ n i tink i shd jz ignore e dreams i had n admit its a gal.

hubby finally go to my place for lunch..though its oni an hr, nevertheless, its better den nth. i guess its allan n teresa hu r there tellin him to go. if not they oso wun ask mi last nite. i noe hubby is bored at my place n so do i when i go over his ah ma place. last nite they celebrating er gu bday. see others so busy preparing when e food comes bt i cant do anithing. so many ppl helpin, mi w big stomach, so i tink i better stay out of it. hai.. among e 2 xi fu they hav, i m owas e one hu is v quiet. i m not like hazel, owas so involved w them. mayb i not used to mixed ard with aunties ba..hahaa

lastly, i finally done w my last 2 mid nite shift. now oni left 2 more reg nite shift next sun n mon n tts it. day n mid shifts here i come. hope i can get used to it. i simply hate to squeeze train. mayb too long nv do day shift, now i not used to purposely stand in e middle to let ppl giv mi seat. i juz hide at e door. n stand for 15stops straight. hahaa...
but nvm, tink i get more chances to go work tgt w my hubby, so he will help mi secure a seat den. hehe..

last nite teresa they all tokin abt monthly checkup. she said she forced her huby to go every vivist with her. cz she dislike e feelin to b alone while waiting for her turn. cz she said she feel like single mom when she see other ppl w their hubby. actually i oso felt lidat on my visits. i owas see ppl w their hubby while i m alone. depressing but i m used to it. he nv like to wait. n my visit is v fast. when i m on time for my appt, i owas been called up within 15mins. n my visit oni less den 10mins. so no pt askin him to b w mi. lucky him. haaha.. if my gynar in kk or sgh, haha...den tings might b diff lo..

k la.. watchin my 'heroes' again.. not bad.. but got 1 epi q scary.. seein ppl wiith their skull open, brain r remove. eew... but still ok, mayb i watched too much csi..

k la... take care folks~

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Friday, November 02, 2007

Nervous, excited or fear?

aRgh... another fren of mine jz gave birth. 11days earlier den her edd. (estimated delivery date)
in a couple of weeks later, its elynn's turn, den either my turn or jasmine turn..
OMG.. so fast.. cant imagine e ball ball i carrying for q sometime is coming out so soon.
other mama to b r excited to 'get rid' of e ball ball asap but for mi, i'm not sure..
felt tt there r many tings not prepared yet, though i oni left abit to buy. perhaps my mentality is not ready to b a mama yet. whenever i see my hubby so relax n do nth but playing games at home, i felt stress. i noe i couldnt ask him not to play cz he b doin nth if he dun play. but somehow felt tt he nv realli sit down n discuss bb future n stuff with mi at all.

dun take my irregular shift as an excuse cz i had my long off last week liao. i juz felt lost when no one is discussin wat i shd do or prepare. bb name havent confirm n my hubby is not helpin to tink at all. everythin anithing or pass to his parents to decide. bb bed n boxes duno when he goin to buy e teresa they all. he jz say tings not ready yet so dun buy 1st. but wat else to wait? i still worried abt e pain i got to go thru during e labour. so scary.. hesitating if i shd take e injection if i reali cant stand e pain anot.. so ex.. n will hav side effects. not much pl tt i noe do not take tt. wondering i can tahan anot. or even, is my hubby goin to b by my side when i screamin for help anot.

ar..... change topic..

i tink i spent too much yesterday.. buy my nursing stuffs and outing, spent abt $150++ liao.. heartpain. tink i not joinin outing till i giv birth. duno y aft my long off, i felt tired n slpy easily. frm 11pm onwards i long to go home. last nite too. tot of goin kbox aft dessert which end at 930. bt not all wanted it so we went to a pub. of cz i had my orange juice nia. but i was bored to death liao. all tokin abt e drinkin trips tt i missed due to my pregnancy. n oso tokin abt e upcoming drinkin trips. or some tokin abt their holiday trips.. i hav nth much to tok too. cz all i m not involve n i cant join them. i was there juz listenin their topics, staring into air. no one realli observe tt i v tired n wanted to go back. even when there r times tt we r so silence oso no ppl voice to go back.

in e end all went back at 1230 cz lights r off. i m too tired n wanted to rest alone in e cab till i told them i takin cab alone. duno i seems unfriendly anot but i heck care. cz i m aldy v sian inside.

this sun tink i goin back amk. realli hope hubby rem tt he promised to go back w mi this time. he said tt last week when i threw temper at him. so long nv hang up his phone when he called mi. tink i hang abt more den 5calls from him. he oso nv mention anithing abt it abt tt despit i sms him my unhappiness.

i had several weird dreams last nite. dreamt abt bb again. abt hubby abt mother in law. all weird weird. even had nite mare abt crows again e nite be4. duno isit cz e fear within mi is acting up.
felt tt distance bet mi n hubby drifting apart as we seldom tok at home.. felt so lost at work too. getting more n more lazy at work. started to countdown e days i hav at vivo liao....

life is so bored...... oni can sayang my bb whenever she kicks mi. nvm, monday i shall see her again.. thru e scan... tts e oni day i look forward every month.

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