Sunday, February 03, 2008

to cont

paiseh, rush to feed baby juz now tt i juz end my blog 1st. where was i? ok..heehee

den in sms i oso tell him tt i scare bb duno hu is her dad since her dad owas not ard w her. askin him if he remember wat he had said to me when i qn him if he is serious to marry mi. cz he said he will bring mi happiness, share joys n woes w mi till old. but i tink he forget liao.

i might sound bad in sms but i tink i cant stand it. cz i tinking y he can go out aft work. weekend is e time he can spend more time w bb yet he still use e time to go out till late, else he is playing WOW from day to nite. den at nite complain to mi tt he is tired n wans to slp early. if u r workin hard at work den tell mi u r tired, i dun mind. but if u r tired cz u go n play games or go out, haha..so sorry, i will feel v piss off. dun ever say tired in front of mi if its not work related or not due to helping out w bb. cz in term w tired, i guess i m more tired den you. our bb cant slp well, i got to b on standby 24/7. u cant expect mi to slp in e noon cz ur bro n e small kid is so noisy. den wat do ppl tink if someone owas slp in e noon? how would they noe tt i nv slp at nite? these days i oni sp ard 3hrs per day cz bb dun slp well from 11pm till 8am. den i got to b on standby from 9-11 cz mil bring small kid to apple class. soon its nooon, how to slp? ur mum might noe i m tired but she cant help much cz she got tons of things to do n worry. i dun wan to add on her burden esp i dun nid to do ani housework. so i keep everythin to myeslf as much as i could. aft havin so little time to slp, yet u tell mi u r tired n wan to slp early. who wun feel piss..but nvm...

m i reali too much to say tt in sms tt u giv mi black face? aft bb is out, n when i reali cant stand my stress lvl, i sms u abt how i feel. u nv say sorry to mi, u oni show black face. help abit but soon u forget abt my sms n everything back to normal. dont u noe u reali dun look like u hav a daughter at home liao? i wanted a nice tok w u n settle things peacefully. not saying things den forget it soon. dun owas tell mi off of things i did poorly as u tink. if u r so great, show it to mi. i m someone hu oni listen if tt person show mi tt he/she is capable of doin e thing he/she wans mi to do.

aft i sms u, we tok like stranger. yes i throw bb to u to take care aft u saw e sms. i went to slp while bb cryin even though she by ur side. i didnt help. y? cz when i m experiencing it, u nv come to my rescue. i wan u to noe how i feel when i m alone w her. sometimes u noe my plot but yet u do nth to it. i aldy look like a single mum thru out my pregnancy n labouring, yet i still look like one even bb is out?! i envy ppl hu hav their hubby by their sides to giv them support when they r in pain for labouring. cz my hubby was beside mi slping n watching tv while i was in pain. it look as if i m not carrying ur bb. lucky my curtain r drawn, if not ppl see liao tot hu is this guy if he is not my hubby. theres no pt of acting caring towards mi n bb when got ppl ard, its too fake. i rather b alone. y u care so much abt mian zi? sometimes i juz hate e fact u mind tt.

argh.... so sian w llife.. been slpin in study room so many days... 4walls, no tv... i oni can c yao lan n my mattress n books ard mi. n baby. i cant play pc cz i m struggling to hav rest while i m lookin out if bb moves alot or make noise. i can go crazy w tt kind of environment. i did went crazy a few times n situation doesnt improve. i tink its time for mi to go chiong liao. i seen u havin too much fun time outside when i m at home takin care of bb. i shall organise one this week or next week. u better rem wat i said in my sms. dun giv mi birdie when i wanna go out. n nv try to throw bb to ur mum to take care instead.

i dont even noe if hubby would read this but i juz write in e form of tellin him in my blog cz i feel better using this method. k la, wrote v long... bb juz slpt, i go try to hav some rest too. n of cz i hope i can hav a nice tok w him to settle everything n not havin cold war.

tkae care folks~

I WAS HERE @ 7:32 PM l 0Comment