NaMe : AmBeR
Loves : AvErLyN
Hates : BiTchEs, LiArs, BeTraYaL
Fears : CoCkroAchEs
Weakness : Soft-hearted = FOOLISHNESS

:: get a car by 28 ::
:: get a car license by 26 ::
:: get a house by 26 ::
:: to weigh 45kg ::
:: to go swimming twice per month ::
:: get osim product for my parents ::
:: go for yoga lessons ::
:: go for holiday trips ::
:: to bake my first cake ::
:: go drinking once per month ::
:: to buy psp ::
:: start saving money ::
:: get promotion ::
:: to b blessed in my life ::

:: Agu ::
:: Christina ::
:: Esther ::
:: Geswin ::
:: Gracina ::
:: Hsien Yung ::
:: Hui Si ::
:: Jun Wei ::
:: Li Ting ::
:: Liwen ::
:: Wayne ::
:: Wei Ting ::
:: Yan Qi ::
:: Yan Wan ::
:: Yong Xing ::
:: Yuki ::

Melissa's Design

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January 2009
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August 2009
September 2009

life is just getting more n more meaningless for me.
as i grow older, e more i feel sick of life.

how i spend my bday?
full of bullshit.
frenz wanna make plans for mi, but all worried if my hubby will 'book' me.
so i drag n drag....in e end i decided to reserve my nite w him n push away outing w my sec sch frenz when most of them can make it.
i regretted my decision.

its my bday, he nv make ANY plans. i m e one to ask if he wan to go for dinner. present? a breadtalk cake only? i search e whole room n ther is no surprise.
when we meet for dinner, he told me his pay not in n maybe bcz this is his last mnth thus company giving him cheque.
nvm..dinner i pay lo... cz i was thinking, nvm, he is going to b jobless so i pay.

then guess wat?
he is now at ST JAMES~!! FUCK~!

wat r all the bullshit tt he told me that he will not go to drink when he do not have a job and will stay at home to save money. no money to buy mi a meal n present but got $ to go drink. so wat if he said he will oni have to pay $50 there cz many ppl there? tink i m only 3 yrs old kid or 1st day go out drink?! taxi fare leh? here n there add up, at least 100+ lo.

come on... i worked hard as a wife n mum n this is wat i get for my bday? bullshit.
just a sentence saying i love u.. who cares~ action speak louder than words.
i dun nid him to buy mi exp presents, but at least things tt make mi happy la. give mi a cake nia?
i beginning to hate Averlyn more each day.
y i gave birth to her? y my life become miserable cz of her?
y i go aniwhere ppl owas ask mi bring her along? i m VERY TIRED to bring her out. i dont have time to spend on my own w my frenz. everytime bring her out i m e last to eat yet i hav to eat e fastest n play w her else she throw her temper. i wan to slp long hrs oso canot cz i got to take care of her.
wat is her father doing? play games all e time. did he really take care of her? NO! i nv had more than 8hrs of slp straight cz of bb. he can and sometimes he choose not to cz he play game. i wan to watch tv n let bb play alone in e room, he yell cz bb cling on his chair n he cant concentrate in his game.

when can i have a gd rest~! i oso wan to slack n do my own things n heck care abt bb but can i? can i?
sometime i show her no mercy when i beat her. damn fed up to see her ruin my life. dun blame mi for giving her scars if her father dont give me support. i dont want support from his mum all e time. it just make mi wan to do more to make up for her.
duno how she b a mum too. she oni gd in scolding but no gd in bringin up her kids.

I HATE MY LIFE~! i dont feel appreciated at all when i m home. am i a married woman or single mother~! i m getting more n more sick of all ppl n tt includes Averlyn~!
w/o her i can go aniwher late at nite, w/o her i can do OT everyday to clear tt stupid never ending tasks, w/o her i can slp as long as i want. w/o her i dun nid to wake up so often at nite to pad her to slp when she juz cries for no reason.

argh~! canot stand it. no support from him at all. i cant take it. his last day is next week n he seems so relax, i dun wan to amend his resume for him again, i m so tired to do so many things for him. cz he dont seem to do anything for me~!


argh argh argh~!
i noe my managers r givin mi more tasks to do to prove myself at work. doing things tt my fellow colleagues dont nid to do. i have to work more hard at work but w/o his support to take care of bb, i realli so piss off n cant concentrate at work.
i want to b promoted, i wan pay raise, but even thigns r going in my way now but i m so tired at home. sometimes i m just draggin myself to go home. n yeah, i forget sth.
i dont know y must he owas get his frenz to tag alnog when we go out? go movie oso ask fren tag, ytd my bday oso ask fren tag. if he dont wan to spend time alone w mi then tell mi, i HATE when we can go out alone n he call his frenz if they wan to join.

argh............................................

going crazy, all i can do now is to vet my anger on her. n dont blame mi for tt cz i duno where to vet my anger~!!!!!!

everyday eat 1 panadol extra, see how early shall i die from it den everyone happy~!
I WAS HERE @ 12:17 AM l 0Comment