:: My SoLiTaRy WorLd ::

傻瓜

2009-09-21T16:30:00.002+08:00

对的。我就是世界上最大的傻瓜。

兜了一圈，事情还是要发生。
好累啊。我觉得我做人真失败，连最基本的角色都做不好。
给彼此太多自由空间不见得是件好事。
别人都没有我那么无所谓得让另一半整天去喝酒，把妹。
因为我不想让他觉得我把他绑得太紧，不然他没有其他地方消遣，发泄。
到头来又发生了什么事？

有时候我真的不知道我该如何‘控制’他。
有时跟他说不要做一些会伤害我的事，但是他听不进。因为他想讨好另一个人。

我真的好累。累得不想去理。但是我的心会痛。他知道吗？
有时真的不知道我倒地在他心里吗？
为什么有再次伤了我的心？

难道要我真的放弃，他才知道错吗？
好累啊！

back to blogging~

2009-08-09T23:45:00.003+08:00

yo ppl......
its been such a long time since i update my entry. dont worry, everything is fine all these while, just tt i duno wat to write.

well well, where should i start my update..abit lost becz my eyes are fixing on the movie '300', ooh..i like this movie, i like e effect n stories, hehe...
kk, i shall start.

abt work ba..Lucy left and she just gave birth on 29/7 and joreen is earlier~28/7. i must salute to Joreen who did it in 100% natural birth~! omg~! she is someone hu is so scare of pain yet she did not take any injection. such a brave mama~! but i hope she is doing well cz i noe her emotions r up n down.. Lucy choose e easy way bcz she went for full c section but she is stronger as in she can put down things easier so i tink she will cope well.

abt workplace, i have a new colleague J who replaced Lucy a month ago, i noe she is frustrated but she has to learn to cope w it n hope she dont leave so soon. becz she owas saying tt she dont know how we can work here so long. i have another colleague comin in in mid Aug too. so this means my team will b 5 ppl :)
but bad news is my head of dpt is leaving n now we do not know who will replace her. i noe tt E rejected e offer so left 2 ppl, 1 is my leader n e other is frm e deg dept. if i were to choose, of cz i choose my leader becz she has better quality den e other. but well, sekali new ppl come in to replace her..
but my stupid colleague kp tellin ard tt i will get promoted if my leader go to e post. honestly i hope so but sekali i get nth n i no face to c ppl liao. yes i wan promotion yet i scare i cant make it to e standard. i noe my leader is giving me more things to take care of my team but i don dare to tink too much becz i scare of failure. so lets take things easy, life still goes on if things remain e same.

abt personal life...well, my hubby stilll e same..he got a new job in a shippin industry, glad tt its a gd pay but duno whether isit becz of e better pay, he is spending much. i m getting pissed tt he is going out to drink almost every weekend or even weekdays..its like at least 5 times per month? these 2 weeks already 5-6 times liao.. initially i m so happy tt he get gd pay cz he can start saving finally but things dont seems so...he mentioned abt buying car but i dont wan a car.... i wan a house..but can we achieve it? i reali hope so but e first step he need to change is to reduce his drinking......
there r times he said he is fortunate to hav me cz i m understanding cz i trust him to go out drink. i m not tt concern tt he will fool ard cz i trust him is oni abt $$$....hai...lets wait n see if he will change.. had a quarrel w him over money 2weeks ago..dun wish to bring $ issue up else we 2 black face again.

lastly, abt my Averlyn..well, she is getting smart but naughty too. i m able to communicate w her more n enjoy playing w her but sometimes she get over my head. tts when i use cane.........haha

k la, its tired, shall stop here cz quite slpy liao..take care folks~!

wat a bday.........

2009-05-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

life is just getting more n more meaningless for me.
as i grow older, e more i feel sick of life.

how i spend my bday?
full of bullshit.
frenz wanna make plans for mi, but all worried if my hubby will 'book' me.
so i drag n drag....in e end i decided to reserve my nite w him n push away outing w my sec sch frenz when most of them can make it.
i regretted my decision.

its my bday, he nv make ANY plans. i m e one to ask if he wan to go for dinner. present? a breadtalk cake only? i search e whole room n ther is no surprise.
when we meet for dinner, he told me his pay not in n maybe bcz this is his last mnth thus company giving him cheque.
nvm..dinner i pay lo... cz i was thinking, nvm, he is going to b jobless so i pay.

then guess wat?
he is now at ST JAMES~!! FUCK~!

wat r all the bullshit tt he told me that he will not go to drink when he do not have a job and will stay at home to save money. no money to buy mi a meal n present but got $ to go drink. so wat if he said he will oni have to pay $50 there cz many ppl there? tink i m only 3 yrs old kid or 1st day go out drink?! taxi fare leh? here n there add up, at least 100+ lo.

come on... i worked hard as a wife n mum n this is wat i get for my bday? bullshit.
just a sentence saying i love u.. who cares~ action speak louder than words.
i dun nid him to buy mi exp presents, but at least things tt make mi happy la. give mi a cake nia?
i beginning to hate Averlyn more each day.
y i gave birth to her? y my life become miserable cz of her?
y i go aniwhere ppl owas ask mi bring her along? i m VERY TIRED to bring her out. i dont have time to spend on my own w my frenz. everytime bring her out i m e last to eat yet i hav to eat e fastest n play w her else she throw her temper. i wan to slp long hrs oso canot cz i got to take care of her.
wat is her father doing? play games all e time. did he really take care of her? NO! i nv had more than 8hrs of slp straight cz of bb. he can and sometimes he choose not to cz he play game. i wan to watch tv n let bb play alone in e room, he yell cz bb cling on his chair n he cant concentrate in his game.

when can i have a gd rest~! i oso wan to slack n do my own things n heck care abt bb but can i? can i?
sometime i show her no mercy when i beat her. damn fed up to see her ruin my life. dun blame mi for giving her scars if her father dont give me support. i dont want support from his mum all e time. it just make mi wan to do more to make up for her.
duno how she b a mum too. she oni gd in scolding but no gd in bringin up her kids.

I HATE MY LIFE~! i dont feel appreciated at all when i m home. am i a married woman or single mother~! i m getting more n more sick of all ppl n tt includes Averlyn~!
w/o her i can go aniwher late at nite, w/o her i can do OT everyday to clear tt stupid never ending tasks, w/o her i can slp as long as i want. w/o her i dun nid to wake up so often at nite to pad her to slp when she juz cries for no reason.

argh~! canot stand it. no support from him at all. i cant take it. his last day is next week n he seems so relax, i dun wan to amend his resume for him again, i m so tired to do so many things for him. cz he dont seem to do anything for me~!

argh argh argh~!
i noe my managers r givin mi more tasks to do to prove myself at work. doing things tt my fellow colleagues dont nid to do. i have to work more hard at work but w/o his support to take care of bb, i realli so piss off n cant concentrate at work.
i want to b promoted, i wan pay raise, but even thigns r going in my way now but i m so tired at home. sometimes i m just draggin myself to go home. n yeah, i forget sth.
i dont know y must he owas get his frenz to tag alnog when we go out? go movie oso ask fren tag, ytd my bday oso ask fren tag. if he dont wan to spend time alone w mi then tell mi, i HATE when we can go out alone n he call his frenz if they wan to join.

argh............................................

going crazy, all i can do now is to vet my anger on her. n dont blame mi for tt cz i duno where to vet my anger~!!!!!!

everyday eat 1 panadol extra, see how early shall i die from it den everyone happy~!

counting down........

2009-04-11T02:07:00.002+08:00

juz bk home frm e movie, fast n furious 4, watched w hubby n abner...n oso joreen n her hubby cz all in same cinema..
at first quite excited over movie but just before e movie starts, my mood is destroyed.

ya... by tt stupid grp of hubby frenz tt i hate e most. cz they are a grp of ppl hu r lazy, fking lazy n useless.. i dun like ppl of tt kind of category..oni noe how to spend mama $ n do nth. n worst of all, they go to those pubs tt r so mani chinas gals.

but he will not listen to me de la. told him tt he whole day nv slp n went swimmin n basketball, still dun wan to rest n yet want to join tt grp of useless ppl. hope he just dun collapse as he did not slp at all.

so irritated by tt. erk~! spoil my mood.
but anyway, my mood is spoil long ago. i duno y i gettin more irritated by him. ssometimes wonder y he just dun wan to get his butt out of e pc.
sometimes i m realli tired to take care of bb but he nv offer help. sometimes i juz walk into our room he will ask mi bring in his food or take his bowl or cup out of e room. today, he wanted to watch tt movie n i ask him to check internet, yet he ask mi check newspaper. wtf, cant he juz click e icon to open firefox n check? check newspaper? later i still nid to use internet to book e tix!

argh.......... i want to go out hv fun w frenz n dun wan to come bk home to take care of bb. everytime go late, i still make myself wake up early in e mornin to take care of bb. in e end i m super tired cz not enuf slp. if i tell him tt, he confirm ask mi to get his mum to take care in e morn. y cant he just offer n help? if he can realise tt bb is stayin away from him, then he shd do his part to acc bb more.

i m just tired to take care of bb on my own n hav to serve a big bb in our room.
i m excited to get a new flat but i m afraid tt i cant cope n die in the house cz everytime i will nid to do myself cz he just play games 24/7.

i oso start to realise sth. y when we go movie, y muz him get others to tag along? y cant just both of us? he been acc his frenz for drinks n y we cant get our own time tgt?
argh...duno y i m gettin so piss off......perhaps i m not getting any support from him. sianz........ppl call mi wonder mama cz everything i do myself. but its not tt i wanted it but it is bcz he is not helping mi......

dun tok abt him anymore..he is already makin mi to drink at home again. n i cant get drunk totally cz i hav to take care of bb in e morn again...damn..........

my bday is coming....i reali duno if i shd expect sth frm him or i juz plan my day with my frenz w/o him. i wan to go n hv fun......but can i? so sian to tink abt my bday...........argh~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

abt work leh.....hai.......i noe tt cf is stress but she is too stress lately tt she cant take it. i duno to offer my help anot cz i scare i cant cope with my things for doin tt. hai...dilemma..

k k k k
duno wat to write.........juz wanna another cup of drink w super thick vodka to dose off..

take care folks~!

Life gonna b even more bored...

2009-03-28T01:08:00.004+08:00

duno y i always sign when i talk about work....
as mentioned in my previous entry... 2 bestie r leaving... n both r confirmed to leave in april... 1 go to new loc, 1 go unpaid leave...den now...1 more might switch dept...n guess wat? the one i dislike just tender on monday..
wow wow wow...so many ppl leaving... it surely affect my mood even though i still hv interest in the work.
funny is.. mayb e more sad u feel, u will act differently in office..i m becoming more n more talkative there... i muz control myself... cz, to me, if i see such person, n if i dun like her, i can reali hate this type of ppl, wahahaha...
n 1 more thing is.. more n more ppl tell mi secrets. so i hav to kp A's secret from all, then keep B's secret..den C's....etc.. in e end, i kp so many things to myself.

nvm...i jus do my work ba.. life still moves on....

hubby wn to quit job..i nv stop him..cz i noe he dun like it at all..but i m glad tt he ask mi if i m piss ant...i juz say no lo..but more or less will b worried abt $..but hope everything is ok..

kk got to stop...bb kp wakin up n askin for mi..
sianz... drink vodka but mayb add too little..haha
kk, she crying again..

take care folks~!

overloaded

2009-03-05T21:07:00.002+08:00

wow...super busy last week... so long nv felt so stress at work but nvm, its aldy over..n now i m still busy but not tt stress..
got some shocking news from someone n was rather sad tt she made this decision..but... nvm, working society always hv ppl come n go... she will be gone for a few months.. but i guess tt she will still quit whne she return...

so i will b more stuck.. stuck in e world tt i duno hu to look for in future...
my kaki are leaving 1 by 1... another kaki will be shifting to new building somemore.. i wll be more sian....argh~! will ther b e usual laughters in e office like now?

sometimes i wonder if its gd or bad tt my direct boss is praising mi in emails n my team mates n bigger direct boss r in it.. i tink twice in a month liao... will others tink otherwise? but those r juz simple follow ups... or maybe she noes we r tired n trying to make us happier? haiz....

i dio 2 complaints tgt.. 1 from a student's mum n 1 from my current class.. so sian n irriated by them.... i dun care if i m rude to e mum cz she is expectin mi to chekc on her son every min n her son failed 9 modules out of 10~!
next guy is a kns guy.. no one likes him n tts include every1... my boss..acdemic head...director all seen him n buai tahan him...

argh.. i m always liday.. once i m hit by someting, i get so down.... how to b a leader in future? i tink tts y horoscope says tt a taurus cant b a leader...

back to my personal life..
i m pissed w him last week. yes really pissed..
i m so tired n was abt to slp at 12am.. he called n said tt he is drunk n ask mi to go mrt to pick him up.
qn 1: y his frenz duno how to send him to our block
qn 2: he has to work tml n yet he get drunk, n i mean damn drunk?
qn 3: who r e ppl he go with? if its ppl i noe, they sure send him to our house but hu r them? i can allow him to go drink but i wan to know hu so that i can contact e person if there is anything happen..

12am... i walked to mrt in my shorts...walked so many rounds ard mrt cz he dun pick up my calls, n i felt like an idiot to do tt n ppl r lookin at mi... finally he picked up e call n he is at a corner tt i nv expect..
n guess wat? a super drunk man in front of me.. even i call him he oso no respond n juz sit there, refuse to move. wtf.. yes, i was cursing n swearing as i carried him back. he is not light n he is so drunk till i m supporting 75% of his body... worst..he vomited on e street n i kp telling him not to lie on e vomit area...
omg... imagine.. u got to drag someone home n e person is damn smelly n wet?! he still can argue tt i walk wrong way when he is drunk.n i duno how long i took to reach home.. worst.. hav to clean him up... took cloth soaked w warm water...slowly clean his face n body.. argh~! when i get my bb to slp w me so tt he can slp below.. n guess wat? i juz left my room n he vomitted in the room~!!!!

i was goin crazy n scold him loud for e mess he created.. n all these wake my bb up~!
argh~! hav to clean him up n settle bb down.. wanted to throw his rubbish away yet bb cried once i wanted to leave e room... i was really pissed...
pissed till i dun wan to tok to him e next day. even he said sori n i nv reply him abt tt.

y? hu? i m very fedup w hu he went out with? y tt grp of ppl so brainless? get him so drunk n send him to mrt nia? i nv ask cz i noe it muz b new frenz.. cz old frenz noe wat to do n i dun hv to worry so muhc..

i m juz so pissed w him....n i hope he dun do it again.. i nv get so drunk outside lo.. i noe i hav to b clear minded..not nice to get drunk outside too..but i duno wats he tinking...

argh.. i hate last week.. so busy n stress at work n he made mi more worried..
argh~! i reali hope he can change to better.. n i tink he can.. yes.. he is improving slowly to b a better dad n hubby.. i muz b patient n giv him time to change slowly... juz hope he dun buttock itchy n look for new target will do.. cz he shd noe very clearly tt i will not accept another nonsense n will do sth tt i almost did tt time.
our lives might b boring but i hope we will stay on.. esp for e sake of our gal.. giv him mroe time n he has to learn to b content n i tink tt will do e job :)

ok la.. stop here.. kp coughin nowadays...sian...
weathers r bad lately too..so take care folks~!

Contd from previous entry

2009-03-01T18:19:00.002+08:00

背影 --- i oso duno y i started to fall in love with this song after Yoga concert..

somehow, some parts of e lyrics are so nice...

well, his concert is not bad..as in his singing skills but in terms of interacting w audience... he need a lot of improvement..but ke lian him when SHE is out.. ma chiam its SHE concert, haha..but it didnt affect his performance..haha..

hmm...its been a super stress week for me.. lots of things to rush n seriously, i havent complete them.. i m pissed, yes i m. bcz of e colleague tt i dun like cz some ppl refer their prob to me when they cant get her to do it..

aiya.. my bb is back.. got to stop here.

but.. hav to mention is tt, i've applied bto in woodlands, n i hope i can get it.

take care folks~

背影 - 林宥嘉

2009-03-01T18:14:00.002+08:00

三公分陽光　三公分空氣
堵在眼前　像一面玻璃
擋住了妳表情　剩下只有腳印

一直向前走　走不完距離
一直向後　退不出回憶
很高興有心事　幫我困住自己

妳頭髮上淡淡青草香氣
變成了風才能和我相遇
妳的目光　蒸發成雲
再下場雨我才能夠靠近

感謝我不可以　住進妳的眼睛
所以才能　擁抱妳的背影
有再多的遺憾　用來牢牢記住
不完美的所有美麗

感謝我不可以　擁抱妳的背影
所以才能　變成妳的背影
躲在安靜角落
不用妳回頭看不用珍惜
(如果妳回頭看不用在意)

我懷裡所有溫暖的空氣
變成風也不敢和妳相遇
我的心事　蒸發成雲
再下成雨卻捨不得淋溼妳

grey goose~

2009-02-07T02:53:00.005+08:00

haha...hubby now at st james..so i guessed most of u noe wat i did already...
yes...having some qoo+grey goose... a better quality of vodka...thus not bad..hehe
at least e 1st person hu knew wat i m doin is my gd grandson..haha..

he asked mi to call his god sis to ask her get ready n she ask y i didnt go along..
well..i m someone hu is not so think skin to ask him to bring mi along..if he wan he will ask...if he dun den i tink he wan to have some time on his own w his frenz..n i oso used to it.. if he bring mi, i shall treat it as a surprise..
guess wat i did at home other den drinking?

i realised tt i been a long time since i do some creation w averlyn pics...thus i did the below:

but den.. i cant stand it. it dun look nice on desktop so i came up w an idea to do a calendar for her. so below is e outcome:

well...of cz i feel better w e latter..dont u tink so? hha...

ok..back to work...duno y time pass so fast.. i havent done most of my admin stuff n 1 week is gone...omg..i left 1 more week to go...wat to do~! sian man... enjoy e times tt i dun hv to kp runnin here n there to entertain students......

just had a bad encounter aft my classroom meeting.. 1 of e lecturer call n asking how come his class startin n no one call him up to do things...i was so puzzled...since when i offer him to teach my class n somemore its opening soon...somemore he is so called black listed by boss...but he insist we offered n he blocked off e dates to tkae my class.... n blaming us for making him to lose his revenue....

i was like........i nv heard tt u r offered to teach my class.... i noe u r pissed but i noe nutz abt it.... even i asked cf, she oso shocked... e previous gal nv tell her abt it....even our weejky/monthly review she oso nv tell her.... so all of us in a state of confusion until i searched e gal old email...
kns.......
her things r so messy n out dated...since when she is so hardworking to engage lecturers 9months ahead?! all of us at most 4-5mnths ahead.. n for her? so many things nv do when i take over n yet she go n do all these so early... feb class n she offered lec in may liao... kns...
so now it is somehw our fault to make him lost income........

hai.. duno wat will happen too cz lec said he will write a letter to complain abt it...sian... so much time n effort i spent to clear tt gal rubbish n when i tot i hav nth to do w her... a big case came... wtf... duno wat i owe her in my life... i see ppl beside complaining how much thigns their previous colleague nv do for them..i was like..ok lo.. u nv see how stress m i when i took over... at least all of u have at least 1week to take over n mi? 15mins???? n all i rely is a set of like 5pages paper???
so i owas ignore their complaints......

kk enuf of work, i hvnt mention those stupid students too. i have so little local students n yet they gave mi so much headache...................suan le......

back to home....
i m so touched when my mum called to ask mi go home to eat steamboat on e 5th day of cny.
i m pissed w my in laws.. y they make a must to make every1 eat veg on cny day1? cny is to enjoy...this n tt canot eat... it was like.....i feel so restricted instead of enjoying......
i spoken to fil on cny eve tt i wan to eat steamboat w my family on day 1... expected..he say it is a tradition passed down by his dad. n its oni 1 day in a yr. i shoot back. i said, my family oso oni gathered once per yr to eat steamboat on cny day 1. y not i eat veg on every 1st n 15th day of e month to replace it? n yet he showed me tt face.
come on... u had family gathering every sun, n how abt mi? u get to eat w them on e eve till 2nd day of cny n i oni get to do tt like..less den 10times in a yr? cny day 1 is e oni day i get to eat w my family n cousins... n i get all these restiction?
hubby oso ask y i hv to go back on day 1 to visit family n not 2nd day cz others do on cny day 2.
i wanna shoot back by saying... y every ppl i noe give red packet on cny day 1 n ur family giv on e eve.. n y ur family hav to eat veg on day 1? which side seems more 'weird'?

no one in this family will understnad my shoes... i give so much troubles to my family n i hav been trying so hard to balance my work/social life/bb... i owas bring bb out on my own to meet frenz n my family... y i cant b given special case to eat steamboat w my family on cny day 1? cz my family not at home on day 2 cz they go out bai nian... y hv to force mi to eat veg on day 1? i rather eat 24times per yr to replace tt 1 day lo......... but..hu in e family will fight for mi? no 1........
no one understand how much i wanted to sit down n eat w them... i dun like to eat at his ah ma house too.. all not to my liking.. my house got double or triple ingredients than any one house tt i visited.........

how touched i felt when my mum specially prepared steamboat for mi alone when i go back to eat on cny day 5... they reserved a can of sea aparagus for me....cz they noe its my fav....n they even prpeared my fav garlic chilli.... i enjoyed e meal so much despite its oni mi n my paernts eating tgt... i cant eat w e other 14members of my family..........
cny steamboat is e only meal tt i can eat very long... more den 30mins at most times....n i love it..but now.. i cant enjoy it... thus it makes mi feel happy to give angbao bt sad to see them eating w/o mi....

suan le.... tink abt all these just make mi feel emotional.....
sometimes so tired yet hav to move on..

sometimes wondering y my colleagues like to make a fuss w their hubbies... over things like... they lazy to cook n buy food on their own den hubby nv buy for them...
when i heard it i was like...... y muz we rely on hubby so much? hungry den cook lo...at most go down to buy..y hv to quarrel?
maybe their hubby can tahan.. i cant stand it if i m their hubby.... i still believe tt woman hv hands n legs like man...y we cant do thigns tt guys do........ suan le...i m juz too stubborn..

ok la... enough liao... finishing up my vodka n off i go to my dream land...
hope i can slp well.... duno y aft he bring e badgets back i almost every night have night mares...
i oso dun understnad y bb tend to make more noise n refused to slp early now......but suan le... juz slp lo.......fan zheng i m sometime hu seldom will hv gd dreams......

kk...take care folks~! bye

bad start of the yr

2009-01-28T22:32:00.002+08:00

sianz...
so sway for this cny..
cny day 1, my auntie visited me... together with cough + flu... faintz..

hmm.. i nv update since xmas hor..but got to cut it short, tink bb slp liao, hav to carry her over
ok.. i finally get to drink w him on his bday celebration w his cousins n frenz..
soso lo, not bad..cz i noe part of them, thus not tt boring..n realli missing those days tt we went drinkin tgt. felt reali happi to b tagged along, ehehe...

but q unhapi abt 1 thing... this yr cny $ all i settle... omg.. i tink i drawn 800+++ out for angbao...n its all frm my pocket... my prorated bonus is gone juz lidat... n i still pay for his clothes leh....
yes, he get his aws n bb bonus last mnth, bt its all gone. most of it go into drinking..
yes i m rather pekchek abt him but......
1. he reali v long nv go drink liao....n he is drinkin w ppl tt i trust n i noe. .(n i oni mean ah wang, simi grp)
2. he spent part of e $ on my Coach wallet n our new pc monitor

hai..realli hope he can start to save...i realli wan to move out asap... room so small... yet our things so many..

so i shall set my new yr resolution abt him here:
1. start to save... i dun mind to start w juz $100 per month
2. start to save tgt... i wan to move out
3. y move out? dun to live under ppl roof... no space n freedom...
4. be serious at work...

ok got to stop..

they hand bb to me when she is still awake~!
omg..she is slping real late now...11+pm~!
last nite is e first nite i caned her..cz 12am n still nt slping....

heart pain but v fed up when no one helpin mi when she cried like hell

ok stop here..she is crying for nth again.

take care~

Bored Xmas...

2008-12-24T21:11:00.003+08:00

Sian.......
once again...someone always make mi hapi for nth........

last week ask mi whether i wan to join him to drink tonite for xmas..

ytd he tokin abt drinkin but nv ask mi again..

today he goin drinkin........hint him so many things tt i m so bored cz no prog, he still nv ask mi.

den y ask mi out last week? if he noe tt i duno his frenz den y ask mi in e first place..
though i owas duno to join anot but i m glad tt he ask..but everytime it juz make mi disappointed.

i duno even noe hu is he mixing with.. how to trust him?
he nv show mi hu r his new frenz..how do i noe hu he is mixing with?

whereas i owas tell him hu i go out w....

y aft birth i cant go for drinking... y he can?
i miss the drinking time..but too bad... i nv mixed w jenny they all le... my other frenz dun drink too..
nvm... i drink vodka on my own tonight ba....

@ work
sian~! y i so sway n dio tt stupid local student case again!
out of 100+ assignments n i nv recd his n he said he submitted..tmd..
he sure make my life upside down...kns kns kns kns kns kns

wtf wtf~!

wat a xmas~!

1 leh, ask mi out but den leh? forget wat he said again
2nd leh... duno wat i owe tt fking student in my previous life...tmd

very bad mood la

Hmm

2008-12-08T01:10:00.002+08:00

tot of naming it 'Tired' as my title but den..i tink i owas put tt nowadays, haha..
but indeed i m tired...

@ work..
omg... startin a new intake is damn tiring..but lucky tt this intake is a small one. i hav e actual headcount now, n these 5new classes is like my 2classes in intake 10 lo.... but aniway, as it is a new intake, i hav to do a lot of trackin at my end to ensure i get things right in future. so far still ok.

but this coming week is monica last week of work...soon its karen turn. omg... i cant imagine work w/o her bcz it mean tt i hav to face lucy alone. n i duno how is my new colleague pattern. now when i m tired, karen is there to cheer me up or help mi. n both of us went crazy in office. n christine owas at her seat laughing at our nonsense. how m i going to do tt with lucy? someone hu owas like to take mc at e right time? sianz......

but she q ke lian cz no ppl go to her wedding, haha.. she reserved 1 table for us yet oni 2 went. bosses oso nv go though they agree in e initial stage. i cant go cz my bb bday is on e same day. n i realli nv set it on e same day on purpose. its all decided by my in laws.
so nvm...i oso packed a big ang bao for her. wat to do, once i turn my head to e right side, i see her...

@ home
as usual...sianz......... i play w bb, he play WoW...
duno y these weeks he went out to drink. this time not w Dama...but w ppl i duno....duno y i feel weird. open 1 bottle per week at butter factory...nv heard of this pub...duno who are his new frens...or is there any new target for him......... i nv bother to guess his hp p/w n his email p/w too.. maybe his facebook nick is misleading... but i noe he is referring to his tattoo..but maybe he mean another thing...haiya...dun wan to tink so much.
cz i juz cant trust him 100%. this include love.

love too much oni get hurt more. .
since he owas put weird nick abt his nick..i shall do e same. if he wan to do sth funny again, i shall start hinting him tt i still miss someone. if he cares he will stop. but in fact i still miss someone.
his old eng name is Chris but aft he noe this current gf, he change to Hins. i m very bad. owas guessing when they will end their r/s. but since they get tgt in early oct 05, they are still tgt.. omg...3 yrs....... but guess oso no use cz i m already married n hav a bb. after so much struggling w my feelings, i aldy giv them my blessing. i shall oni kp those sweet memories deep in my heart.
duno wat i m tinking too. oni with Chris for 2weeks in person n he went off to UK n yet we r tgt for this long dist r/s for 9months. but maybe cz of this, i noe wat is true love. hai.. he was my ideal man all along. wat to do... this is e wrong path tt i have chosen which lead mi to where i m now. i juz hav to admit tt my life isnt tt gd.

haiya... my hubby is bad but he is gd at times. at least he noe how to b more carin when we r w frenz outside. at home oni can use 1 word-sian.
he went to do tattoo at his back, n i nv stop him bcz i noe no use.
his char i noe so well, wat for waste my breathe to stop him frm doing sth i dun like but i noe he love so much.

so every1 scold him for tt but i diam diam. hai...sometimes duno how to change him too. now my turn to hear my colleages complaining y their husband dun change. i oni tell them, if u noe his pattern bfr marriage den dun expect him to change. guys dun change. so u hv to accept it. if he wan to change, he will but he will take some time.

my life is so bored........bored at home...busy at work..n nid to work e 1 person i dun like cz e rest ok.... sometimes students jus make my blood pressure shoot up.

this dec i m so broke, $200 went for DnD... n some go to bills. need to pay for e buffet too. 1 more wedding to go. 2 more gift exchange to go. a few bdays to go. omg...........
next mnth worst. its CNY~! my time to giv angbao again...i hate it man.......

k la, duno wat to write...just bk frm his cousin wedding dinner. he so busy running here n there, discussing how to sabo his cousin. i juz eat lo........haha..now he went drinkin again w some cousins i knew but i cant go cz i taking care of bb. but nvm la, i oso had some wine n now i havin peach vodka at home.

1 more off day to enjoy...12 dec got to take leave but got to b back to office for e board of examinators meeting again. but nvm, at least tt mad dog go to NS finally. i shall hav peace at home now.

stop liao...take care folks~!

tired~!

2008-11-23T19:38:00.002+08:00

wow... seems tt aft i join kaplan, all my title is 'ired'
hahaa..but indeed it is a tiring job..
1 thing made mi so unhapi is t i din get a pay raise aft gettting confirmation~! argh~!
later den i found out its e company pattern...so i hope i get sth frm the feb bonus if not all my hard work r gone~!

aft i get confirm, i m nervous abt tt gal, cz she joined 1 week aft mi. but den...since we r shortage of ppl, i tink she sure get confirmed despite all her evaluation score failed way below e expected score.

hubby went down to buy food so i make it short here..

i finally get over my 2 orientation n all sutdents r in~! lucky tt my intake is a small one.

kk, sth crop upp, gtg..bye everyone

Gonna b busy again

2008-10-25T10:32:00.002+08:00

Aiyo...sometimes i wonder if my 6th sense is too gd...
i had a dream last week, dreamt tt my new colleague is not coming in in Nov..
then e next day my boss discuss new job scope idea with me, i asked her when e gal coming..
she says not so fast so i might need to take care of e upcoming 5 classes in mid nov. and probably handover to her by end of dec as i will be in charge of liaising with lecturer instead.

n u noe wat? ytd my boss went n tok to my big boss, hu is oso known as e principal. wa lao.... principal been avoiding my boss abt new headcount these while n this time he cant run. n he say we on budget n cant allow us to add in 1 more person.. tmd... e company earn so much still on budget??
take in 1 FT Dip student already 10k lo.... earn like mad still no $? then how we gonna maintain our kpi... students feedback sure not so gd de lo...hai... n it oso means tt i will be in charge of the upcomin 200 new students.. + my existing 220, i have 420 under me.... but 50 of them gonna graduate in Nov thus i will have 370 students~!

liew...now e gal i dun like canot fight w mi liao cz i win her, haha..see how she gonna complain she has too many to handle...hhaha..
owas use tt excuse to cover many things... tt time we helped her do evaluation on her by her students, wahahaa...many give her low marks n write nasty comments on her lo... but we hand itchy n help her throw away some really nasty paper if not she will die... but sometimes seeing her pattern n respond, she seems to take it for granted tt we will throw bad remarks to save ourselved n i hope she dun tink tt we will help her all e time. thsi time is bcz its her 1st evaluation so we help, next month? no way, she got to improve by then.

hai..juz heard tt 1 of my colleague resigned n shd b leaving by end of this yr. n when i tok abt it with my dept colleague, she oso told me tt she tendered before but was rejected n now she is considering it again. she oso sway. happened to take mc once per week for 2weeks den big boss cc e email to e whole dept, askin my boss y she owas on mc.... kns... she everytime havent recover n back to work liao..somemore owas work till 9pm..how to be well... hai...

hope she dun resign too..she said she will consider it over this weekend n i reali hope she stay..if not i gonna face tt woman i dislike n i will faint~! reali cant stand her scolding those vulgar language when she face prob. owas make mi wonder if she reali from adv industry? nv see before problems meh? owas scold vulgar de meh? den how she survive in tt industry so long?

nvm........ now i havin widsom tooth..kns, it reali painful n my face is abbit swollen liao..but when i tink of when is e best time to take mc for 1 week, i couldnt find any........ best date i guess is in late Jan when the school dont have lessons for 3weeks.

ok, enuf of work...
tonight i going to sec sch reunion dinner. sian...so many of my gang nv go, even e oni one oso give me birdie last min, heng i still have kaki to acc mi. i oso no time to meet e other gals too...argh..miss out lots of fun already but time owas not enuf for mi..

i find sth funny too. hubby msn mi 2days ago n ask if we go to bangkok next april tgt anot. i was like 'wow, u have this idea n i m reali happi' but when i ask if bringing bb along he says no. but nvm, er ren shi jie oso ok. n tt mnth is my bday too, hope tt is his purpose :)
talking abt him, he is going to do tatto today. hai.. i nv stop him cz i noe he wanted to do it long ago. it will be a pair of wings on his back. style will be e same as wat he did on his leg. 1 part is evil wings, e other is angel wing. it will take 1mnth to complete everything n i duno how he gonna hide frm his family, haha..

as i tot i can save again n now my dream is gone. he gotta spend 300+ on e tattoo on each visit. total he will spend 1k. so i hv to save up lo.............. sian... how to save enuf for bb chalet this dec... he said he will giv mi e baby bonus this dec n i hope he mean it lo........

kk...wrote enuf.... so slpy but cant slp...tooth pain pain too...n worst is...wat to wear tonite? mayb later i go causeway pt to see got top to wear anot...hehe..

tts all folks~! take care~! :)

busy with programmes~!

2008-10-11T09:57:00.002+08:00

Wow... i juz realised tt actually i have a line of gathering coming up till my weekends are so packed.. n its not packed w work stuff..
cz sunshine wanna meet mi to tok abt my investment but as i telling her which days i m not free.. n i reply her as below:
17th oct - colleague weddin dinner
18th oct - go back sch to standby for my students exams
19th oct - got to b at home for bb
25th oct - sec sch reunion dinner
26th oct - acc bb..
1st nov - ex colleague wedding dinner
omg.. write half way bb wake up..

got to play w her liao... she is a popular bb, new colleague ask mi out juz to let her play w my bb..omg

tml tink hubby company got event, gonna bring her along..faint.. meanin i got to prepare things early in e morn...

kk, stop here... averlyn lookin eye big big at mi liao
bye~!

wen wen.. e pts u wan in a husband is abt e same as mi, dun b despair.. if u wan to fight back for ur son, u can.. cz in suit case, mama owas stand a better chance to win bb back (i did my research tt time), jia you k? ;)

i found my gang~!

2008-10-01T01:05:00.002+08:00

hey guys...rem tt i hav been complaining abt my new colleague?
omg..i m so glad tt there is aldy a gang against her, wahahaa...

in fact i can sense tt not all will like her but i kept quiet n keep all my unhappiness within myself n oni burst out here. but surprise~! wow wow wow... last fri, when she is gone at 6, as usual, she owas leave on e dot despite keep complaining how busy she is. then 1 of my close colleague came n tok to me as she offered some cakes to me to eat...say tt just now got someone very 'auto'. never ask her wan anot yet she come n take herself... ah ha... i know hu she referring to but i juz laugh...i noe she gonna continue to say somethings abt her so i stopped her n told her to tok as we go home tgt.

guess wat?? wow~ she burst out all e unhappiness tt all of them have suffered due to her!!
on her side, aldy have 4-5 ppl couldnt stand her... cz she kp wanting things in her way n expect all ppl to giv in to her. esp e classroom issues, she jus simply refused to outsoruse n keep lookin for others to giv her the room. n guess wat? i checked w her trainer n realised tt its herself hu nv send email to e person in charge , tts y all her reserved rooms r not in e system..

i was wondering abt tt when she screamed n made a big fuss upon checking through all e final bookings. becz 3 of us went to look for person in charge for our issues n y oni she is affected badly while e other 2 of us r fine as we've discussed n emailed him for e changes. ah ha... now i noe e real reason which makes mi more hot. siao... she herself forget to email yet now make a big fuss,,, 1 word to describe her 'b****. i m so glad tt i have find my gang to share my unhappiness. i felt so relaxed aft being able to release my unhappiness... all of them tot i m fine w her...but least tt they noe tt in fact i have been tolerating w all her nonsense...

owas skip e interviews w new lecturers n meetings, using excuses tt she is busy, yet leave on e dot... omg.. couldnt stand her....

i just feedback to her trainer tt there r ppl hu dun like her char... though she oso cant do much, i jus highlight to her tt she might face problems in future. so for now, i juz entertain tt B lo... tink i so eng meh... till now still duno hu in charge of which intake.. liew... cant she use her heart to memorise it? hai... useless B

ok... back to me... well i getting ok w my company though still got tons of things to claer..mainly students issues... i noe tt i m gonna to get poor evaluation scores for my intake 7 as i still owe them lots of things tt i m still trying to clear for them.. they r all teenagers..how would they understand wat situations i hv faced upon taking over e mess.... all they wan is someone to clear their results asap. yet i cant do it... n to get gd appraisal is very much related to evaluation resutls... so this time i die liao... but reali no choice n i noe my boss understnad.

so wat ppl tellin mi tt i m doing v well, learn things fast, being calm upon e super big mess e gal left for me... i believed tt higher authority oni look at grades... would they understnad my stand n saw all my efforts to clear them frm day1 tt i took over? now i m tasked to handle e latest intake... wow... i reali hav to agree tt i hav learnt 90% of wat i need to do for my position n i hav more knowlegde/experience compared to my other 2 colleagues... gd in some ways but i was left no choice but to learn all in 2months time... wat a challnge but glad i m doing fine..

ok...back to personal... i felt reali bad tt i came home late so often...8pm? i already go to work at 7+am but i still too busy till oni can go back at abt 7pm.... but however, i hav set myself to go back at 630 daily. no pt staying so late since i cant finish it. i noe i did wat i could too.
now i try my best to spend e max time i could afford w my bb.... i m glad tt everytime i came home, she will stretch her arms out for mi to carry or give mi a big smile upon seeing me.

as for him....juz had some unhappiness w him... he said i m calculative when he told mi tt he got to pay citibank his debts. n i sms him tt i help him clear as he havent get paid, n once he get it, he shall return mi. yet he accused mi for being calculative... come on... from day 1 i noe him, i hav been clearing his debts n since when i reali ask him to return mi? n when i m jobless, did he giv mi $? oni 100 n tts it. when he is jobless, i giv watever he wants while i save my $... n now he said i m calculative? n say f*** off to mi? forget it. i dun bother to argue w him n there goes our 2 days of cold war. in e end he hug mi to slp 2 days later. in between tt. we nv tok at all n i purposely go home late.

sometimes i been tinkin, is this e life i wan? no......... too plain.............is ther love? i duno... just t i m ok to live w him. he might not b rich or romantic but i noe i cant expect much frm him. somemore i hav his mum to help out to take care of my bb... den i just get busy w my work lo... not much lost too... i juz do my things.... i havent even apply house w him... we so broke, how to buy? haha....n i duno if i will spend my life w him. it is v peaceful now bt will his buttock get itchy soon? i duno...he play his games i do my things..tts wat our lifestyles is abt. juz plain... so bored... but take a step at a time.. cant expect much frm a playboy...

k la...v tired.. was drinking vodka when i writing, thus there might b typo error...so long nv drink..juz tt he not at home n tml is a PH so i had it... no other reason..i mean it..

ok, stop here liao..

take care folks

argh..

2008-09-20T15:39:00.002+08:00

hey hey wenwen, i took e quiz o, hahaa... very long nv take such quiz..

glad tt i went for gv gathering last sunday, fun to c everyone n they finally saw my bb~! haha...but naughty bb, owas bully tristan, ahahaha hu is 1 month older than her.

tml supposed to go out with e gals for volleyball but i doubt i can make it. still sick n wan to rest more to recover faster.... sicked for 10days? getting better now so i wan to recover 100%... n too broke liao... hubby oso due to same reason nv go drink with frenz, make mi guilty...cz in e past he dun care but he tink abt it..... thus though i might b feeling slightly better now, i tink i oso cant go for tml ba.... muz save $ together n its oni less den 1 week from my payday~!

well i bring work back home to do again...cant finish...
next monday start class for my 2 intakes...and gotta submit monthly report tt i nv done before
got to prepare class list for monday and prepare things for tea session for my students n ops head... so sway tt my class is selected..
settle my students outstanding issue

wa~ nvm, i see tt i m clearing everything soon~! i can do it~!!!!

but 1 thing i cant take it 4 long.. can i still tahan tt new gal? piang, she getting my nerves everyday... n duno hu can i complain to abt her at work.. but somehow i feel tt e other colleague sitting beside mi dun like her too..

u noe wat? she dun admit her mistake de..
this week she make mi fed up a few times liao..
1 afternn, she open up all her carton box n unpack her books, den she dump e empty ctns in e room n tt room actually is meant for lecturer to surf net...
e next morning, cz i noe i need to unpack my books for my students so i start to tidy up, den i saw e whole pile of empty boxes n i go see e name tt e ctn is attention to. kao.. i tink i dismantle at least 10box for her.. when i tell her tt 'do u noe u hav to dismantle them n put them in recycle room?' she can say, 'ya i noe, i wanted to do it today aft unpacking ytd de' suan liao la.. i done for u le lo... bull shit... unpack in e afternn n tink i nv see u msning in e evening ar??
another time is abt timetable... kaoz...every1 noes tt have to update e latest timetable in network drive. i go print out her timetable for 1 of her class cz my student wans it. den on e day, my student come looking for me saying she cant find e class. i go n ask her, den she says no ar, have ar... den she check email, den she says 'oo e lecturer change date'.
kaoz.. push to lecturer? u r e one hu is supposed to update lo... my colleague oso beside me n tellin her same things but this gal juz keep saying its e lec hu change herself..

nvm.. ytd she asked me to reserve some seats for her student to take exam with my students, yes i did. but when exam starts, mi n other colleague hu oso sharing e room with me is outside attending to our students hu cant find e class. n she in e office lo. several students frm her class r panicked cz cant find e room. we got to settle for her. when i saw her again, she can say, aiya tt student not frm my intake so i dun hav his contact n nv contact him lo. e student oso nv come n look for mi. HEY, e student is in ur list SO u r e 1 to contact him no matter wat lo...

still can say, ai ya, students can c e tv for their class ma, y still call us.

buai tahan her liao... everyday askin mi stupid qn, n qn tt i hv been repeating lo.. n all these she can find out herself ok... she is very lucky to have her trainer still helping her despite aldy officially take over lo...

kao kao kaoz.... i cant tahan liao... reali wan to complain to my colleague but i duno to do so anot..cz here seldom ppl tok bad abt ppl n i dun wan to b e black sheep to start it but i reali dislike her lo. pity her husband~!!!!!

k la, nid to do things liao.. nv tidy my room, nv iron clothes n still hav thigns havent do...

takecare folks..bb

Quiz

2008-09-20T15:24:00.002+08:00

Let's have Fun~

3 NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. Amber

2. Liwen

3. Ber

3 SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:

1. Ah Ma

2. Ah Ber

3. BB de MaMa?

3 PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My hair

2. My wrist

3. My ears?? nth to tink of leh

3 PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. My big butt

2. Pimples/black heads

3. Flappy tummy

3 PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Paternal side - Teochew

2. Maternal side - Hokkien

3. Gransparents - some part of china

3 THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. separated from my bb

2. doing nothing

3. cockroaches~!

3 OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. mobile phone

2. computer

3. glasses/lens

3 THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:

1. t-Shirt

2. Pants

3. garments, hahaaha

3 OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:

1. Ah Mei

2. Sun Yan Zi

3. Lee Sheng Jie

3 OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):

1. ai tai yuan - li qi

2. jie kou - jay

3. dao dai - jolin

3 THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. trust

2. respect

3. responsible

3 PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. gentlement look

2. love to smile

3. at least 1.75m

3 FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. playing with bb

2. cross stitch

3. slping? too tired from work nowadays

3 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. finish my work stuff

2. recover fast n bring bb or go out w frenz

3. ma la steamboat~!

3 CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:

1. childcare teacher

2. counsellor

3. housewife (if we r rich)

3 PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. Taiwan

2. HongKong

3. Paris

3 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. to live happily with my bb n someone hu i love n he love me

2. to say i love u to my mum (dun hav courage to say out)

3. hmm... cant tink of, when death god look for u, u oso duno when, so live the fullest every moment is e best

3 WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:

1. looking forward for a romantic partner

2. love to cry upon touching scenes

3. being xiao nu ren? soft hearted

3 WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:

1. slping position very awful

2. over work n care abt family income more den my hubby

3. like to fart alot at home? wahahaha OOpsss, too open liao

3 PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ:

1. Huisi

2. Yan Wan

3. Wei Ting

copy the whole list above and paste on your blog.

Let's Play~yohoooo~!*

sick again

2008-09-13T16:31:00.002+08:00

omg... i've worked in Kaplan for 1 month~ yeah...welll...not bad i still like e job despite its tiring... get along w colleagues well except for 1, haha... tt 1 is a new gal, i'm juz 1 week older than her but i dislike her character... worst is, she sit beside mi.

sort of settled most study guides n lecturer issues... left some misc stufff to prepare for students exam... but i got TONS of students enquires which i havent answer them cz i m too busy doing those more imprt things.. okok, next week i will settle them asap..haha... tts y i bring back intake 6-9 results files to do data entry so i can glance all results easily.. duno wats e gal before mi is doing.. faint... rubbish is the word i can use. cleared half of e rubbish exam scripts behind my desk.. even march papers still there..n we oni need to kp them for 3mnths lo... i left some nv clear cz duno e dates... but set in my calendar to throw all of them in mid oct.. i hate messy working environment~!

tink i can grow older faster there... supposed to b 9-6 but i workin lik 8-8 daily. i noe i have to put a stop to it. last week i left at 7pm instead~! haha.. tink next week oso 7 or earlier...

ok, tok abt tt new gal. cant stands guys so practical. yes she noe how to dress smart, cz she in adv industry previously. no one can c tt she aldy 30, n she gettin married this yr end. 1 which make mi ppuke is.. a corp trainer work pass her n say ' hi xxx, so hardworking ar, everyday see u come so early w e other 2gals n work so late'

-_-"'

omg. is e guy eyes sth wrong??? she came later den mi n left earlier den mi. i was e earliest w e other 2 gal n left e last lo. i juz do my work n pretend nv hear.

maybe i m thrown to collect e mess n handle things myself alone. so i couldnt stand her so rely on her trainer. she given 2 weeks to take over n now still everything call her trainer. even student call she oso ask trainer to go out handle. almost every min call out 'eh...i ask u sth...eh can help mi sth' i was like... com on, u 30yr old, so many yrs in adv, u cant do meh.... 2 weeks trg wat r u learning? dun giv mi tt look as if u r boss or wat. i oni can ans those tt i noe. u shd noe clearly tt i oni 1 week older den u n dun bomb mi so many qn. even i tell u e ans u dun believe n call ur traniner hu oso giv u same ans lo.

dun made mi show it tt obvious tt i dislike u lo. u juz care for ppl when u free n when u busy, ppl ard u r transparent. lecturer ask her where to put e things, she nv even see her n juz tell her to put aniwhere on e floor. o pls.. given ur attitude, u will offend ppl soon. n u aldy offend one of my s'porean student hu taken down her name to complain lo. n for goodness sake, dun owas say loudy 'wa lao, stupid' when u look at e pc.. ask u for some doc, u owas dun bother to look at mi n juz say ' wait ar i very busy'. did i ever do tt? when i very busy i oso help everyone to do their thigns..

hai..suan le... e more i say e more i felt agitated. i shall see how long she can last. she is so lucky to have such a trainer. her trainer so responsible till do so many things for her n now this gal still askin her to do things for her. hai..

nvm...

well, my little gal was sick for 1 week... finally recover from her fever+cough+running nose. but its my turn again. dr lee says i m allergic to sth if not i wun get it once per month tt often. so xin ku...duno isit i too overwork..

aniway i gotten my iphone... all accessories n stuffs settled by him... even games oso he dl, so i juz use lo, hahaa...mine is black n his is white... white is nicer but i dun wan cz so big storage n i wun use it. 8g is enuf... n e games r... kinda fun to play~ haha... not bad la...juz a nice appearance hp...hahaa...

ok la, time to do my work. bring e files home n i nid to settle it lo.... time to stop here... wrote so much to cover back tt 1 mnth disapperance... tml got to bring bb to eve house for potluck gathering, haha... pray tt i feelin better~!

take care folks.....

S-I-C-K-E-D

2008-08-15T11:54:00.002+08:00

omg... its like i m down with flu+cough+sore throat once per month~!

e previous time is when i m leaving my previous company and now i get it again when i gonna join a new company. dun wan to go new place w my 'illness'

i used to b a healthy n strong gal until i gave birth. maybe i never take care of myself during confinement ba. that's the only reason i find for myself.

well, after 1 month of being a tai tai at home, i finally get a job at Kaplan. actually i m stuck to make the decision. because s'pore flyer did called mi 1 day earlier to offer me the place. but i know that i m going for 2nd interview with Kaplan, thus i delay my reply for them.
i though my chance is gone when i met up with the director for the interview because he looked so fierce and i missed out points that can help me to get the job. and i asked them to give me a reply by 4pm as i got to call back flyer at 4pm to give them my reply. in my heart i kept thinking, what if Kaplan didnt call by 4 and flyer call for my ans? i do not know what to do.

fortunately Kaplan called at 12+ and told me that i m offered to the position, only that my expected salary is lower. though the salary offered is the same as flyer, i still go ahead for KAplan because its an office hours job and its something new, as flyer operation is very much the same as GV. yes i enjoyed working in GV but i'm not single anymore, i have a baby to tink for, i cant enjoy the lifestyle i like in the past. thus i made this decision. and hope its a good one.

they said that as i m a new entry to education industry, i will start off with some trainings and perform some admin duties for 2-3 months before deciding me to go into full time dip or language category as both dept need my post.

nevertheless, i m very glad that i got myself a job within a month. exactly a month, phew~! if not i will go crazy one day. hate to rot at home too. if its my own house, i dont mind but not here~ haha.. yeah yeah yeah.. go to work go to work, now have to think what to wear on monday, will i get along with colleagues? i hope so, its a female working environment, because only 1 guy in the office of my dept. though i can get along better with guys, i will try to get along with the ladies, and i must tahan politics if there is any.

and hey hey, i finally upload some videos of my cutie baby on youtube, n below r e links:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7JE5UEKzj0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yoa5DhjiGI

i did this in july, still have somemore but i feel that these two more cute, hehe... for more pictures, pls go to my friendster or facebook to see see, hehe....

hmm... as for him, i duno, juz feel that we are very bored.. duno if i can stand him playing game at this rate for how long... dun like to see his black face... dun like to see him raise his voice.. dun like him to order me this and that when he got legs and hands to do himself.
its like, i m already taking care of baby, and i still got to run arrands for him? faint.. den hu sayang mi? no one. i have not much trust in him too, everytime his hp receive sms or phone call, i will suspect. how long can i be like this? forever? no! very tiring. i miss the 'him' when he is on shipping, so sweet so caring, unlike now... haiz............................................................

well, my world is just so bored... n i dont want to go on like this forever.. what to do... mi no $, many things cannot do, oni can diam diam...

nvm, now i get a job, i hope i can get busy with it and forget the problems~!

so tired yet canot sleep, dont want to let mil think that this dil oni slp n eat n use pc at home, haha... wrote a short para in chinese ytd but too distracted to write long, thus i delete it, haha...aniway, its juz abt the olympics opening la, haha

that's all for now~!
take care folks!

B-O-R-E-D

2008-07-30T11:25:00.002+08:00

damn... 2weeks being jobless..
so bored at home lo... zhu ding i cant b a tai tai at home, haha.. will go mad very soon~!

wat i done.. tidy room? no~! basically i m rotting at home doing nth, haha..
duno where to start from too, hehe

here is my daily routine:
8+ >> bb wake up, feed n shower her
9+ to 11 >> slp with bb until 11
11 to 1 >> play with bb till 1 as she go to slp
2 to 4 >> play with bb till 4 as she go to slp, meanwhile handover to sis-in law
5 to 7 >> shower her and play with her till she slp, meanwhile handover to father in law
8 to 10 >> wipe her n play with her till she finally slp till morning

haha bored rite? thus i bring her back to my amk house to visit my mum
so lazy to mass send resume too cz events post is very limited
n even i get to e interview, they require me to go other countries
1weeks is fine but not 1 month, esp tt 1 mnth is my bb 1st yr bday~!

tink i goin to try at duckie place, tempted to coordinate wedding dinner aft i had mine..
see how ba~!

hmm, tok abt him, well i m very bored with him lo..
he come home, play WoW till slp, by e time he slp, mi n bb aldy in our dreamland..
damn bored lo..

he been v guai lately, not lately, abt 2mnths liao.. maybe dun care abt him too much works.
to all gf n wives, guys play hard to get. they owas take our presence for granted.
but once they noe tt we reali will leave them if they mishave, they will b under ur hands
be firm, dun let them tink tt we r dependent on them..
in this society, we are capable to handle our family on our own..so hu cares abt e guys~ haha

if 1 day my Averlyn will be fatherless, i will let her noe e reason when she is older.
to b fatherless is better den seeing ur own parents kp quarreling in front of u.
this will cause a deep impact for them, they will fear of getting married next time.
when we quarrel, our children r e poor ones, sometimes we vent anger on them too.
i rather use my time to look aft her on my own to bring her up in a nice environment.
i believe she can grow up strong n independent instead.

ok stop here liao, been putting her on e bed to play n watch kidsCentral, haha
as for mi i tink i still continue to meet up my frenz to kill my time~!
yawnz~!

updates~!

2008-07-10T00:28:00.002+08:00

wow..so long nv write blog again...
so... so... so... its time for updates~!

hmm.. i hv 2 dates for my last day at tw..
16th jul if i m selected by sbf, otherwise will be 25th.

well i do not hv much confident in e interview w sbf cz i hav many disadv than adv.
(1) i hav a bb n i m required to fly to HK for 1 week in dec
(2) i seldom travel ard n this job requires mi to fly at times
(3) changed 3jobs aft i grad frm poly 3yrs ago... but wat to do? worked in gv 2yrs but e hrs too odd for mi to take care of bb, so i nid to quit... e other 2 is bcz environment dun suit mi
(4) my grades... all bcz of e 3 D7 i had in o's.... i used to hate my parents for forcing mi to take up science class when my science sucks while i wanted to take up home econ. in e end? i failed both my pure phy n pure chem

see? all my disadv...haha.. e ting tt attract mi to e job is purely e chance to travel overseas...
i wanted to c e world... i can get to meet more ppl at work.. it might help to open up my career line... i wanted to go as far as i could when i m young... so now, its pending for their ceo to approve..kinda weird n stress.. tot direct director say ok den ok liao, still hv to go thru ceo... *faint*

now at tw oso sian... nth to do at work...today finally finish teachin all my things to e newcomer...
starting to hate tt new boss more n more.. y do ppl like such boss n willing to follow him to new company? he tok bad abt own staffs in front of others..say bad abt other bosses...tell us all his private life which we did nt ask at all. owas tok big but actions little... wrote bad abt work in his msn nick when all of us n our client hv his msn.... faint...

ok, enuf of work

abt him.
we juz celebrated our 1st yr weddin anni on monday.
he is e one hu suggested to take halfday on tt day.
i plan for e movie in gold class n dinner he take over.
hmm..we wear alittle bit nicer tt day but nv take pic cz he dun take pic de ma...

watched Hancock in GC1, saw bernard, theresa, hafidz, vik... ok nv tok much cz we late for movie.
then we went to several pc shops to check out pc monitor..
then decided to dine at Carnivore... i dun intend to eat thre cz its v lugi for mi~! haha..
but its suit him cz he love meat... so we went there lo..
had beef, mutton,pork, ckn,,,ckn heart~!!! omg
initially i oni take e usual meat i ate which is ckn oni, but i do not wan to spoil e mood cz its like...everything server offer u, u say no, i tink guys will b turn off ba. so whenever hubby offer a piece of his share i say ok lo..even ok to ckn heart.
we had a bottle of casa lop. merlot to share too..

its so sinful for mi on e food n e $$$$, heartpain to spend 160 for e 2 of us...but i mz b fine... cz its afterall our anni, we doesnt spend such amount tt often too...so i m fine w it..

hmm.. he is treatin mi better now.. esp when he noe i m in bad mood, he will ask y.
if its his fault he will explain automatically.

well, perhaps my style works. aft tt time, i do not bother abt him much. aft work, he play his game, while i play w bb. weekend i din stay at home w him much cz almost every weekend i meet up w frenz w bb.
mayb cz i dun show much concern in him thus he shows his instead. nevertheless.. dun wori ppl, i m doin fine w my life. dun care so much = more happier

as for my little princess Averlyn...she is learning to crawl now as she master sitting up q well now.. v fun to play with, n she sings alot, haha.. cant wait for her to call mi mama~! haha...
everyone is amazed by e 'muscles' she hav..but hey... we nv overfeed her leh... 6hrs drink once leh... 7oz of milk tt consist of some rice cereals in it... its not much leh...but nvm la, doctor says ok...n bb being chubby den cute ma, hahaha...

ok ok, enuf here. update blog today cz hubby went indo for company retreat for 3d 2n. n he is back tml afternn. spent these 2days tidy up e room cz he owas sitting in front of pc which makes my cleaning up session abit mafan..

nid to slp now...take care folks~!

Updates Updates~!

2008-06-21T00:30:00.002+08:00

no more chinese entry for this time round..
been playing with chinese characters at work till i m q sian of it, haha
shall write one when i getting all my tots n write something chim..haha

at e same time i shall update on my status..tink i been writing on other stuff tt is not related to my life..

hmm..let mi recall, last entry abt myself is 8may...
well well...for work, i've tendered~! yes, u nv see wrongly, i tendered my new job~! haha... worked less den 2mnths n i tendered~! by rite i served notice till 26jun but they nid time to hire ppl n i nid to handover properly before i can leave so now, my last day is 25jul~! BUT but but... if i manage to get a job now i will leave earlier, cz there is not much for mi to teach. n i done notes for all of them.
Y i left? (1) no interest=no motivation (2) my butt cant stick to e chair for 9hrs. i nid to move ard, i will juz keep yawning till tears drop almost everyday. (3) due to reason (1), i feel tt if i stay w no heart, i oni drag e team down when e team is aldy quite weak. so i better giv e chance to other ppl hu noe more on these.

but job shd i look for next? i reali duno... complete lost n time is running out~! catering? society worker? sales? service line? IR? i duno... HELP~!

ok.. back to e imprt topic rite?

yes, i made a scene in e temple, n since den, his family nv go ther again, n i doubt they will as i made them lose face in front of so many ppl. BUT i dun bother. n i mean it.
have e slut n e bastard(yes, bastard=hubby) end their shameless r/s?
i tink so cz 6th sense tellin mi no more 1 week after dama bday. he came home lookin so down yet told mi tt its cz he is tired. com'on i m ur wife, u tink i duno how to see u r tired or sad meh? but nvm.

i forgotten when but i rem tt a few days aft e above, i told him tt i noe she was present at dama's bday, despite he promised mi not to contact her n see her. he told mi tt if dama wan to invite, wat can he do? F**K him.. nvm.. he tink i m dumb... when i wan to check on sth.. i will get e answer. nvm.. i oso forgot wat happen next, but i tink i juz ignore him. but nvm la, he oso broke up w her a week later.. i tink n hope so...cz i decided not to bother so much liao.

y m i still with him? i duno.. maybe says i nid his parents' help to look aft my bb. cz my mum cant help, i no $ to find nanny/maid.. i no choice.. but i always have a backup plan.. when he force mi to take e D route, i wil use this plan.
well, i dun bother so much abt him now. weekends come, i go n meet my fren, bringin bb along at times. i dun nid him to help, i owas go alone... to practise tt i can handle bb alone when we go out. he come home play game, let him b,i play w bb, if his parents bring her out? i use pc if not i see tv.. u do ur things i do mine, hahaha..

dun bother so much make my life easier... as long as he dun cross e line i m fine. cz once he cross e line he shd noe wat will happen...

actually i got lots to say too but duno y my eyes r getting heavier....
cz its 1am~! n i usually slp at 12~! ok, i shall sign off here... juz upload several pics into my friendster.... take a look ok~! i update again soon i hope~!

take care folks~!

树, 叶, 风的故事

2008-06-08T13:27:00.000+08:00

他就像一棵树.
我就象是一片叶子, 期待风把我带走.

我就象是这棵树的一片叶,
但是这棵树还有好多好多叶子.
不同颜色, 不同形状, 不同大小.
有的已掉落, 有的还在悬挂着.
处处还有小动物, 昆虫的干扰.

陪着这棵树走过许多风风雨雨,
已经伤痕累累.
但是还坚持在他身边.
但是他却还不懂得珍惜.
到处被其他的小动物, 昆虫吸引.

是时候离开他了吗?

我心里期待着风把我带走.
我的风会来吗?

树会不会在风来临之前学会珍惜叶子?

没人晓得..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

我快乐吗?

为什么我每天愁眉苦脸...

唯有看着我的宝贝, 我才觉得快乐些.
但当我看着他, 我又觉得心酸了.
在他身上, 我找不到信任, 安全感.

还爱他吗?...我不晓得...
但是我真的好累啊!
我不停的付出. 他却每次当作理所当然.
好累啊!!!!!

一个场无情的地震

2008-05-16T22:16:00.002+08:00

一个场无情的地震在一瞬间把上千万的生命夺走了。。。
每天的我都很着急的阅读关于它的新闻。。。
而每一次我读着读着读到我的眼泪不知觉的流下来。。。
他们不曾与我见过面，我也没听过他们的名字，但是我为他们感到心醉了。。。

孩子在每一个的父母的眼里是个宝，无可代替的宝。
而他们就这样的走了，带着痛苦的走了。
父母们一个个带着承重的心情，期待救治人员把他们的孩子活生生的抱出来。
但是等着等着。。却没希望。。最终希望他们能把孩子的尸体抬出来。
只希望能为孩子们换上新衣服上路。

一个个冷冰冰的尸体，多数被压倒不成人形，带着痛苦的表情离开了这个世界。
他们还这么小，还有很长的路要走，但是他们没有这个福气安详的走完这条路。
有的生还者，拼命的挣扎。
不管他们的双手和腿被压伤，血流满面，他们意志超强，期待着救治人员把他们救出来。
有的宁愿锯断手或脚，就是为了生存下来。
更有多少人为了救别人而牺牲了自己的生命。。。
但是有更多的人就没那么幸运。他们等不下去了。。。

天理何在~!
中国限制人民只能有一个孩子，但是这场无情的天灾把他们的希望夺走了。
他们年纪大了，怎能再传宗接代?
叫他们如何孤零零过半辈子啊~!
百发人送黑发人，多么叫人不感到心酸呢?

发生了这件事，使我都感谢上天让我活在这个安全的城市里。
每个晚上我都看着与抱着我的孩子睡觉。
多么感谢她在我身边，我会用我所有的一切保护着她。因为她是我的宝。
让我们为这些不幸的人祈祷吧!
希望他们在另一个世界里活得开心。

last entry

2008-05-08T20:40:00.002+08:00

yes, i m shutting down this blog.

i felt it was so polluted. y? cz a slut used to read my blog
a shameless, useless, act cute slut used to read it.
she noe all problems yet she still adding on.
like i sweared in front of the god, i will not regret wat i said.
I WILL NEVER LET HER OFF EVEN AFTER I DIED.
be it die naturally or by accident, it still the same.
perhaps she aldy kena raped or knocked or commite suicide n died earlier den mi, i oso wun let her off in hell.

oni 22 yet so evil. owas trying to stick out tt disgusting tongue out to take pic. duno how many guys touch tt before.
U can tell ur frenz how innocent or how pity tt u look now. trying to tarnish ur reputation? yes i will if i hav e chance. u waken e evil in my heart. it will nv b ease. go ahead n giv mi more mental hospital hotline for mi, i will save it down for ur future use. ur sinSSs r too much to die in peace. u will never get ur true love. mayb u HOOKED around with more married guys. it would b better if u giv birth to a bastard.

i wun mind cutting short my life. known to my close frenz, i nv intend to live tt super old too. i wun mind cutting it short to save more marriage for the rest. Beware. my eyes will owas keep a lookout at u. i tink my frenz too. cz u r too 'bright' for us not to see. cz ur evil tail is so obvious to be seen. i juz pity w frenz ard u. they are fooled by u. one day sooner or later, they will noe e truth and all leave u. but u can join a club. the MISTRESS club. wahaha.. hope i can find e hotline for u too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

to my dear frenz. i will close this blog down within 1 week. be it i hav a new blog anot, i duno cz i m too busy with my work n bb. no time to watch youtube somemore. but thanks for all ur support n advise all along. i noe tt all of u never left my side despite wat happened.

i m fine, living well now. will keep u all update too.

farewell to all. :)

songz

2008-04-26T03:48:00.002+08:00

柠檬草的味道
借口
擦身而过
我怀念的
我真的受伤了
爱哭鬼
你
洋葱
我恨我爱你
你那么爱她
最近

juz went kbox w colleen.. sang q alot of songs.. abv are some tt are meaningful. some made mi cry there as well.

so tired.. finally i made it till e weekend, had a v hard time to force myself not to b affected at work, yet the stress lvl is piling up till i cant breathe at work.
hate to countdown to my day.
i was yearning for this day to c changes n surprises from him 1+ week ago.
yes he giv mi a BIG surprise. so big till i duno to thx him anot.

e oni best bday i ever had i guessed its oni last yr. n tt is history n i noe it wun repeat. cz no matter wat he can do now, nth can change my mind.
when there is chance to admit it, he denied. to me, admitting to ur mistakes = u still hav hope. e advisor still can say he dun admit cz he wan this marriage.

damn piss off with her. i nv believed in her.
she nv fall in love thus she duno all these n giv stupid advises.
so what she is advisor, i still dun giv her face n stomp off aft screaming at her. i had enuf. reali enuf of everything. when things happened, e 2 criminals denied everything. everyone tink i m crazy. they will have their retribution. esp her. i will swear tt i dun mind cutting short my life but i will haunt her even aft i die. she will b cursed by mi till she died horribly one day. yes i sounded scary but tts e result of getting warnings yet refused to listen and still acting innocent in front of her frens. this kind of ppl deserved punishment one day. i do not nid to do anithing cz i believed in retribution. both of them will never b able to live with their conscience clear.

i've lost all hopes in him. i dun giv a damn even he showed concern when he noe tt i fell sick ytd. when he has e responsibilty to care for mi he din. he juz noe how to tear my heart apart again n again. or shd i say, he shared all his love w tt slut. i had enuf. reali enuf.

i dun tink i deserved such a life. everyone hu noe mi by person shd noe wat sort of person am i. i shouldnt b leading this kind of life at all. i had done enuf. so let mi leave with my bb peacefully if u still hv tt conscience for ur family. stop my suffering and let me b reborn.

u asked for time to change but these 2weeks it shows everything. i kp quiet all along. since e day i moved out till i back here, i all along knew sth is outside. but i choose to kp quiet cz i waiting for u to end it. how terrible i been feeling when i try to hug u to slp when u finally log off ur game. becz i noe tt i m not e oni one hugging u now. how much care n concern i m trying to show u but u didnt appreciate it cz all ur mind is on WoW n her. how much doubts i been controlling to say out when u trying to hide sth frm mi. i m not dumb, i told u before. my senses is very accurate. i noe ur char at e tips of ur fingers. wat would u do if u reali wan someone back and wat would u do when u hav a new target outside, i noe it by heart. but u just want to try ur luck. but luck can b used up 1 day.

ur luck might not end now. as in luck with gals outside. but for luck to kp a family going is gone. completely gone. bcz u nv cherish it at all, u still wan to have fun outside. i m tired. let me go with our bb. she will n she must be by my side one day. pls do not stop mi. pls do not make mi hate u even further. yes, to get 2 person to b married requires fate but our fate is up. e email tt jas sent is supposed to tell u to cherish ur wife n stop fooling outside. yet u send it to her, tellin her tt love nid courage. damn ass.. y would our fren send us such things if its meant to encourage u having fun outside.

nvm, wrote enuf.. v v tired, i nid a long rest. yet i hav to b strong for my bb. again i m forced to b more matured n independent. wondering y ppl at my age r much more fortunate den mi. but i noe tt thigns happened for a reason.

take care folks

life

2008-04-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

wow.. been controlling for days yet i finally let it out softly now.
all thx to ck, someone hu we v v v seldom meet but owas there to b my counsellor since sec sch.

painful decision to make now.
a decision tt i hav to struggle with my personal mindset.
i m struggling v hard for it.

i noe outsiders can giv a clearer n better solutions but its all abt myself.
i noe there are many who hav been supporting me all along.
they are owas there. yet its mi myself hu keep on letting myself to suffer.
its mi myself hu make my life more miserable.

i hav to be strong for this coming decision.

<<柠檬草的味道>>

我们都没错　只是不适合　
我要的　我现在才懂得
快乐是我的　不是你给的　
寂寞要自己负责
我要的　我现在才懂得
选择是我的　不是你给的　
幸福要自己负责
错过的　请你把握

still this song. a song tt i found it myself and i start spreading to my frenz till they oso kinda like it. v meaningful song which i mentioned in much earlier blog.

i shall stop here. been insonmia for days. struggling to b awake n attentive at new workplace despite the stress level is piling up.
hope i dun wake up so many times in e middle of the nite later again.
i will take care folks. i have to live a better life. this time its a MUST.
i let down too many ppl for all my decisions tt i had made these years.

to u who might b reading my blog as usual. i might be bad to do those things. but dun try to point fingers at me again. before u point, tink abt how many tubes of super glue n tissues i had used over the yrs.
never step my tail for the second time. once stepped, u trigger e volcano which hide deep in my heart.

like i owas say: Life is NEVER been fair to me. so true...tink abt it.
recall the things i did n sacrified for u over the yrs. u owas said u noe but u nv cherished. i m reali tired...

D

2008-04-20T12:28:00.002+08:00

to the slut and bastard who will be reading my blog v soon.

So Sad tt the lawful wife has saw and read the blog that is created just for both of u. juz bcz the bastard forget to clear the history and i managed to read it. i have been suspecting long ago and decided to keep quiet but too bad, its too obvious for me not to see.

the content that both of u wrote fit so exactly to whats between both of u, his work, his family his camp and mi that i noe tt its 100% u.
i warned u beforehead yet u ignored my msg. juz 1 word for u, SLUT

for u bastard. i have been tryin to treat u nice despite i m not in e wrong frm the start. i wanted a family for averlyn n yet U destroyed it again. 2nd March 2008. the day u 2 started the r/s. again, i m rite, i owas caught u when u hav sth outside, pls contd to celebrate this day till she wear the wedding ring. Oops..i tink a woman like her will nv get married. even she does, she will nt b blessed.

i m not stupid. u can contd to insist to say tt u dun blog or hav nth with her, idiots oso wun believe. pls prepare 500bucks for my seperation letter and all the money tt i hav paid for ur bill n household fee.

nth will save this marriage. N-O-T-H-I-N-G
both of u contd despite i found out in mar, contd till now. but owas tink i m stupid. yes i m. the time when i said yes to u, i m reali stupid.

maybe hell welcome both of u soon.
hell bless both of u

update update

2008-04-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

paiseh to all.. been busying with new company.. not reali busy cz i been yawning non stop everyday...haha..juz tt when i m back home i nid to take care of bb n hubby using pc, thus long time nv online.

i might b online in msn but i m stiill new in the company so i better dun msg too much cz they allow staffs to use msn is for communicating between colleagues n sometimes clients...

toking abt new company...well.. i agar agar count e phone list tt they update monthly..i have ard 300+ ppl...excluding all the factory workers...pretty big org as it has businesss in over ten other countries... i m handling Symantec products.. e biggest team in the program dept cz they r our biggest client.. most interesting thing is...they hav their own company song~! omg.. have to see if hav events and they even have their company day which is 22aug... its ok.. cz they run e business for 40yrs liao...

i m totally nuts abt supply chain.. reali learning frm e stratch.. argh.. tough.. many terms i dun understand..lucky my hod let mi do reports first cz she oso scare i cant absorb tt super fast esp i m so new to this industry, but seeing colleagues ard mi so busy n stress n i cant help at all.. so helpless..

now everyday my colleague teach mi new things..sometimes q easy to pick up , so i learn tasks tt r supposed to b taught tml.. most of my free time i do my own revision or do own notes. so long nv do all these..hahaha..

k la.. hubby change this new keyboard, so hard to press...v tiring to press~!!!
tml or see when i free i update pics...jz had zhen jiu on my right hand.. q weak for tt hand n yet got to carry bb..sian..

btw.. i m glad tt many of u r concerned abt my situation now...
i oni can say... nth much has changed aft i moved back..
i juz try to heck care more things now...
how i hope i can c changes in him.. but lets wait n see ba..but hope he dun let mi wait too long..
n hope he rem a day 2weeks later.. if he forgets..hmm..which he might...hmm.. i duno wat to say..

take care folks~

stupid mktg

2008-04-09T18:33:00.002+08:00

argh... early in the morning, checking thru' mon & tue emails.. esp the email i shoot hq.. expected n i reali did kena shoot back, esp e SY~! b*t**! i m juz hoping tt they can stop sending reminder to us to prompt patrons qns n stop sending us tents to display esp we r aldy over crowded with it. it juz made the counters so messy, so ugly. n we had tons of promo n tons of qn to ask patron be4 we can select seats for them. so mafan.

n wat she reply? ask mi to understand this is mktg strategy, to create awareness, fei hua.. blind oso can c. saying they wun stop reminding us cz some loc nv do it. kns... tink we reali free ar.... come n sell tic for 1 sat n they will noe lo.. one tue oso can. wa lao.. if they try it, they will confirm shut their mouth n stop sending such email to us. no one protecting us.. all wan us work till faint. tink we r super humans.. so many promo, once goes wrong, we kena scold, kena shoot in e email. but commission? goes to them. fair?

nvm, i shoot tt email bcz i leaving liao. juz 2more shifts, tts y i heck care. since tm so brave to shoot back, i shall shoot some too. cz its reali unreasonable~!! hai.. big company but doesnt care abt their front line teams.. all r so exhausted... aldy abt 10 ppl quit liao.. how many more they wanna chase us out? hire so many new ppl but how many can make it? forget it

tml will have coke dispenser n safe servicing.. nvm, its my last morn shift.. tinking abt fri.. last day.. hope i m safe.. haha.. doin mid so i tink i can go home safely..

had some shoppin juz now, abit heartpain for e money but nvm, since he spent so much i oso can, somemore i owas on control. new job nid to wear more formal so i buy lo..hehe..

tml finally can watch Run Papa Run. a movie i expectin q long... he going with mi. hope he can make it n dun last min giv birdie. i reali hope he can watch it...

k la.. tired.. tml got to go work early.. i go shower n rest liao lo

bye bb....

*do not ask abt previous entry. its for mi to noe n rem nia

Closed

2008-04-09T18:32:00.000+08:00

1. half close n over

2. half close n ??

am i heartless? towards her??

2008-04-04T15:12:00.002+08:00

oooo... this morn finally signed my appt letter.. but i m late for 10mins..felt so bad abt it..cz i nv like to b late. but nvm, they nv say anithing, haha..

well, aft tt i tried to take 178 bk to woodlands n omg.. 1hr travelling,, doze off in e bus...
aft tt go to amk to make my bb bank bk.. wa.. they askin me to consider other bank acct..wa.. so confused..
den i went to x stitch shop to photocopy e pics i chosen be4 i giv birth cz they nv copy properly for mi.. mi cant start doing it..

okok tok so much.. now watching 命中注定我愛你.. hmm.. storyline q similar to my life... abit wanna cry at some part..but nvm, its over liao..

abt my topic.. hmm.. my 3rd sis bring her 2 kids here for e afternn..well she dun wan to tok to mi so i oso dun tok to her lo.. i oso dun bother abt her kids.. mum complaining to mi how hard n long she takes to feed them. i dun seems to b concern abt it at all. bcause... tts wat she chosen.. no pt tellin mi tt my bb guai n drink milk so fast den complain tt her kids take abt 1hr to finish. e kids wan to stick to my mum, den stick lo... they r much more heavier den my bb lo, btu nvm la... she chosen this way. so let her take care.. i wun help.. cz when i feel so low, she doubt mi n wanna go back help them. so let her do wat she like lo.. i take care of other kids n my bb will do. tml is e day i movin back.. hope thigns will b fine... pray pray ba

take care folks~!

Happy BirthdaySss

2008-04-04T14:59:00.002+08:00

Wow.. lots of birthday this week.
29th march=sun zi & bernard
30th march=wense
30/31st march = micheal t. (duno each day)
2nd april=gernard (my cute little nephew)
3rd april=wayne
4th april=weiting (nancy)

but still, one of e imprt person in my life bday is oso on the 4th april.
hope she is doin well n be treated nice by others if possible.
hope she noe tt i miss her and no amount of sorry could make up my guilt towards her.
she've changed my entire life, be it gd or bad, she is still my love.
lastly, i will nv forget this day till e day i die.. she will owas in my heart...
happy birthday to u

Outings over~!

2008-04-02T02:14:00.002+08:00

argh... jz back frm bishan chalet.. full of mustard smell.. cant escape their saboing this time rd. consider lucky to b sabo at e later stage cz most ingredients used up. but my foot is pain cz i was running here n there to escape frm agu n hurt it. tink i too long nv run... cant wear high heels to work liao.. i mean for these days.

how abt e nite be4? mon nite? mi col fion n stephen went to shokudo at raffles city again n we still like e food, then we went to mike house for gathering.. n wow, most of us r ppl hu quit. hahaa.. we were talking abt our new company benefits, haha.. had fun playing with Wii, playing tennis in it. q hard to capture some moves but yet its tiring~! ahaha.. went there for 3hrs? n i nv touch ani alcohol o~ heheeh...but glad tt most of them get a new job liao..

sun nite...vivo chalet.. went there v early.. 530pm.. we started to eat e food once they arrive, n its like tons of food. bbq items, beehoon n fried rice.. n the $900++ buffet.. which dun look nice n leftover alot..haha... i did not drink much too, oni 1.5 can of heinken. spent most of e time cooking and chatting. q odd cz i aldy left vivo bt still ok since i noe most of e staffs..

sat nite.. felt like drinking alot.. juz nice col went to j8 with her fren n askin mi for prog... so i meet her aft my shift at 10pm to go instinct bcz i noe hubby got balance of 1 full bot of chivals thre for abt 2+mnths? hahaa.. mayb tts y it taste light n we juz kp pouring it to make it thick. i noe tt i wanna get drunk, juz once for everything n i will stop. so i juz kp drinking till i blur n i ask hubby to come. cz he said he will come to fetch mi when i m done. so while waiting for him i aldy puke a few times in e pub while col puke when she went home, hahaa.. 2 gals finish almost 2/3 of e chivals in 2hrs time. *faint*

fri nite.. tink i updated in my previous blog so i shall not repeat.

wow.. seems busy rite? haha.. but tts it. no more outing i guess n i hope. time to go home.. i miss my bb terribly.. yet gettin more stress at work. ard 12 box office promo going on now. driving our ops team crazy n i pity our staffs, hav to noe so much yet oni $4/hr.. even mi myself oso dun wan to take such a job n tts not e end.. heard another promo coming tml. omg. realli overload w promo yet upper mgmt dun care abt us cz they oni wan to bring in more sales.... if let them try selling tic for 1 day, nono, juz 1 hr at box office on sat , they will noe how much we r suffering. aldy so many ppl leaving yet doin so much promo which drives ppl crazy. tink they driving everyone out.

argh.. tired.. juz washed e smelly clothes frm e chalet.. itchy all over.. tink i allegy to some of e items they mixed in e sabo. tml is e 2nd day.. its a 6days straight for mi, 5more days to go... omg... workin morning tml.. aft tt i can finally rest peacefully at home... thur got internal screening of 'run papa run' e chinese movie by louis ku n rene liu. i want to watch tt~! but internal screening i cant go in... but i will buy tic to watch it~!!

alrite, shall stop here.. to add on.. i m glad he is willing to try sth tt i noe he dislike. at least we try sth new. cz i dun wan to hav ani regret in future if it happen again.

take care folks~! byebye

outing outing

2008-03-29T11:52:00.003+08:00

wow.. q alot of ppl went to st james last night... hmm... total of 16pp. well, it started off q boring in e beginning, oni start to warm up when we start to toast to those hu aldy quit, hu is henry, haha.. den mi? i got to go ard taking pic with everyone bcz i oso leaving in 2weeks time. of cz the one i took w mike is e most special, ahha.. i even close my eyes~! secret secret, shall not let u all c, hehe..

wat we had? 1 johnny walker 2 hennessy, 6 75ml moet, 2jug tiger, but of cz e tiger is for mike, i oni drink half cup cz i share w col when mike wan her to bottom it. so we ta here ta there.. drink ok la, but at tiems they put a lot of liquer inside till its worst when u hav to ta it all.

on e way w ling n col, i abit blur liao cz of e tiger i drank when we r leaving, i m bad in beer n wine. sms him if he can cut down playing game for both of us... he replied 'ya'. den i oso duno wat to reply him back.. so jz tell him nvm.. i tink i juz too used to go back his side aft drinking and someone for mi to hug when i m blur blur. but was trying to control it, thus i sms him sth tt i oso duno y i m asking. diao.. tink he oso noe i drank to c my sms in e middle of e night

back home at 3am den i collapse on my bed.. bu zi bu jue slp lidat till 6am den i go wash up n go back slp again. n again, i do not hav gd dreams. dreamt tt he had a gal again.. omg.. y i kp having similar dreams? my bottom left eyelid kp jumping til i m v fed up. bcz it works v well on mi, when it jump i noe sth gonna happen but i duno wat is it. it can b regarding r/s, work n family. but it juz kp jumping for 2weeks liao........... so tl esp its jumping on the 'anger' side.

argh..duno y i still hav e urge to go drink tonight at instinct but i nv ask anione along yet. duno to call jenny bcz we had some prob when we last meet up. i oso dun wan to tell her things tt r happening, cz later duno wat her bf wanna do to hubby again. i juz wan to get drunk till v jialat den juz slp lidat till morn. hopin he can come n pick mi up. but but of cz i hoping he can look for mi personally to ask mi go home. reservist is over.. he shdnt hav excuse ba... ytd msn mi whether i goin back for dinner... tink he tryin to make everything back to normal lifestyle again...

this week i hav 4 birthday gal n boys. wow.. its apr again.. a month i can look forward to but yet sad if i noe wat gonna happened. maybe i b there singing wen lan 'zhu wo sheng ri kuai le'. 1st bday w him, he nv make ani plan beforehand. juz rush to get a bonquet of w.tulips n a tigger for mi. a swensen cake to eat at his ahma house n go instinct at nite. tts how boring my 21st bday was 'celebrated'. last yr, i had a touching one bcz he went shipping for a few weeks n he not used not seeing me so he been v sweet to mi tt period of time. esp he specially worked 24hrs straight juz to get off day on my day n rush back to shore. waiting for mi at the arrival hall. jz when i cant find him in e crowd n tot i gonna b disappointed again, he shown up n i m so touched. even go home liao, n aft my shower, he blindfolded mi n carried mi to his bed to eat e cake.

simple actions but easily melt my heart.. n tt is e period when i said i do to him w/o ani formal wedding proposal. owas so envious others propose to their wife till e gal cried. suan le, i m married liao, shant tink abt it. wat would happen this yr? i duno.. every march of e yr, we sure quarrel badly, duno y.. den how to celebrate happily? like now... hai..try to b contented w my bb ard ba. shant not hope for more.......

k k, stop here... juz woke up.. hav to wash clothes liao..as for tonight.. hmm.. hai..duno la..
got to go work later! 6days straight liao.. next week oso 6days straight.. omg omg omg.... but nvm, sun vivo chalet, mon bishan chalet, i muz spent e time happily.. cz i noe once i go back i wun control myself to attend lesser, so i muz enjoy!!!

take care folks~!

life so bored...

2008-03-24T13:33:00.002+08:00

lookin at e yao lan in my room, all her milk bottles n toys r kept away.. seein all these made mi feel so empty inside, so down...

1st nite w/o her, i went kbox.. 2nd time went out w colleagues. had our dinner at shodoku at raffles city b1, sth like mache n the village concept den we walked to mill. walk for drink. nv drink much, mi n col had 2 cups of 0.5 light beer while e rest had 1 cup. its taste sweet.. i tot i can get drunk abit n forget everything, but i din..

went home n see e bb stuffs, i feel so down. i miss her alot... wondering hw is she doin now.. hope she treat her gd...

wed... going to vivo for fresh food policy, den shall meet col n ling for dinner.. den weekend go to vivo n bishan chalet.. lots of catch up to do.. do when bb is not ard. i m not passing my bb to her becz i wan to go out. i can dun go for my bb. bb is owas in my 1st priority.. but no one is helpin mi when i go out... i oni can pass to her.. i m not stable till i m able to hire maid. i noe if hire maid, they will make noise. oso nid time to trust maid. so i oni can pass to her.

well well well.. hope i enjoy e upcoming events.. i nid plently of drinks. shall i? shall i go instinct? wish to drink till i drop everyday.. forget everything.. hoping he could come n find mi, but nv...stil not happening.. he might say its cz he doin reservist.. cz he can giv many excuse... mayb i dun stand a v imprt place in his heart. not imprt til he dun even bother to look for mi...suan le.. aldy 17days nv see him. he dun miss mi at all? suan le.. deep in my heart i juz hope he do sth touching for mi to go back. he shd noe tt my heart melts easily.

sian... tink my bday gonna b a lonely n sad one again... oni last yr is a touching one.. but its bcz he oni has mi tt time, i mean he miss mi when he go shipping.. e scenes at airport n how he surprise mi in e room, all still in my mind.

aiya..my mum distract mi.. writing so emo till wanna cry she walked in. still piss w her. no pt telling mi how tough is it to feed e 2bb of my 3rd sis.. i noe she is old to take care of my bb, i dun blame her for wanting to help my sis than mi. cz my sis dun hav ani inlaws to help her, n i hav, n my inlaw treat my bb well.

k la.. gonna prepare for work... mc let mi go work late cz bs too quiet.. ok la, i shall go make up n go.. dun feel gd to go work late though i m allowed to..

take care folks...

misery..tired...

2008-03-23T03:06:00.002+08:00

1st night w/o my averlyn... so weird... sth missing at home... damn..how m i going to cope with it for e next few weeks w/o her slping by my side....

many reasons tt caused mi to leave her to his family.. i really dun wish to let her leave my side at all times.. but i dun hav ani other option.. unless i m a millionaire n dun nid to work... i dun wish to admit failure esp in his mum eyes.. since she like to compare mi w others tt time, she most prob b laughin inside tt i letting her to take care of my bb.... hao bu gan yuan.. e feeling is terrible... n today, at his ah ma house, when his mum feed her, she kp crying, i wanted to carry her back to feed but she like kp hugging her, refused to let mi carry, even i tried to calm bb down by smoothin her hand, she turned away... wtf. she did not tok to mi at all ok.. den dun blame mi for not seeing her in my eyes, dun expect mi to respect her. duno hu is in e wrong first to deserve such treatment. if she wan to say mi for nt being a gd mum, i tink she is slapping her own face. nvm, war is aldy declared, once i m stable, i shall not see her as much as i can.

mum cant help mi animore, wat can i do.. even she, my own mum telling mi things tt she hope i can do.. but dun she noe she made mi disappointed in her n dun she noe i m so hurt yet ask mi to accept her wish? she is too traditional woman thinkin... i cant b lidat.... forever i mean... juz v disappointed in her these days.. when e morning she said she doubt mi, i slammed my door infront of her. i still dun feel bad bcz she hurt mi terrrible by doubting mi.

i took ALOT of pic of my bb n mi last nite aft tellin him tt i leaving bb to his family for e moment.. tears dropped when i see her slping on my bed.. i noe she is slping but i cant control but carried her up n cried hugging her. she slping so peacefully, not knowing how sad her mum feels... in tt afternn, i even just went to buy new milk bottle, toy n clothes for her.... argh..... she must not forget mi when i go to visit her when i m free.. she must not...

jz went kbox w col bcz i felt disappointed for him not turning up at ah ma house. he noe tt i m there yet he said he went to take sth n having dinner outside. anithing more den seeing his wife aft 2weeks? he din look for mi personally all these while. and today i was hoping he appeared to make mi feel tt he wanna do sth to it but again.. i m disappointed. be it he did it on purpose or not, i do not wan to put words into his mouth. but i m juz v v v v v v disappointed. his dad ask mi to move back asap. bt seeing today, tell mi how? its not i m cold blooded.. if i m, i wun even turned up at his ahma house. ...

argh........now even hp dun allow mi msn.. last time can but y today onwards it failed? argh...
dun make mi feel tt things falling apart for mi again... i m forcing myself to stay positive~!!
argh.. hope e up coming outing for outlets chalet will cheer mi up. i m so tired..........................

life sucks

2008-03-20T14:35:00.003+08:00

imagine u r e one getting hurt n betrayed.. yet ppl ard u doubt u for tt. how would u feel? how would u feel when one of them is ur own mum?

hr dun allow mi to clear leaves.. how i answer to my new company?

mum getting backache for taking care of my bb, she wanted to go back n help my 3rd sis, someone hu she owas complained being illtreated by.

went to his family wedding dinner, his mum treat mi like transparent.

e person hu caused all these still raising his voice at mi. instead of promising mi things tt he shdnt do again, he said he TRY. saying i controlling all his freedom n driving him mad if he follow wat i says. but i duno wat i can do, i reali dun cz i dun trust him n lose all sense of security in him. i never feel his sincerity at all along.
.
.
.
.

tell mi wat's gd happening in my life? hav i did anithing wrong in my life? tolerating things within mi n being hardworkin in everything nid i do, wat do i get in return? wats e pt of treating ppl gd? y ppl w bad character gets wat they wan? wat damn thing i did in previous life to deserve all these now?

if god trying to tell mi tt 'i still wan to make a hell of ur life, make u suffer like no ppl business'?
come n take my life now la, let mi walk on street get knock down by car, get lightning struck, ate poisonous food n die. come la, wat else worst u wan to make mi suffer? come n challenge lo. better still, u let mi end it myself, tts wat u wan rite? i see no pt of living in this ugly n injustice world animore. i juz dun hav e courage to end it. but u dare to giv mi more headache n challenges, i dare u~!

emo

2008-03-17T23:26:00.002+08:00

emo emo emo...

rotting in office now while waiting for eos staff. happened to c my cctv n saw a couple quarrelling and e gal juz throw her wallet n walked off. hai.. see liao, more emo..

omg.. they dun allow mi to clear leave.. howhowhow............. i nid to go asap....

ARGH~! y even workplace oso dun giv mi wat i wan.
y everything abt mi is going wrong.......... wat hav i done so bad in my previous life to deserve this... my life is CURSED~!

tired..emo~!!! yet hav to act hapi infront of ppl.. its so tiring~! hu can b there when i nid a hug...
i cant b weak now n for the next few mnths.. i cant... EMO~!

mentally n physically tired

2008-03-16T02:09:00.002+08:00

argh~!! tired~!
taking care of bb is not tiring.. even it is, i m willing to accept it..
now at amk house, i feel happier with my mum ard, she is there to help mi whenever i nid.
when i m v tired frm work or not enuf slp, she owas volunteer to help mi w/o mi asking.
when i goin to work, mum owas there to cook for mi despite i nv ask her to or not hungry.
when i m hungry n no time to cook for mi, she owas rush down to buy food for mi.
i made her angry n sad so many times yet she owas care so much for mi.
this time i m back with bb i will treat her even better or share tasks with her.

i m tired to ans phonecalls n sms from several ppl almost everyday. worst thign is i hav to repeat same story everytime. reali tired for thigns they r doing which make mi v piss off. which i shall not mention here cz i m v tired.

i asked to cool down but i tink he still dun get it. its reali pointless to call mi when its things tt is not my fault or i ask ppl to do. i reali tired to listen to him raising voice at mi. so i juz hang up.
i m realli tired lo.. at work busy due to sch holi n cutting labour cost. den at home takin care of bb. not forgetting tt time kp goin out to buy bb stuffs all by myself. imagine i carryin e entire portable yaolan by myself in e rain...omg..

hai.. hope he cherish e option i gav him. if not i reali duno wat to say.. i m juz v tired frm all these... n now i shall go to slp.. so tired back frm the dinner...
i will take care... for my bb i wil b strong~!!!! ARGHHH!!! i hate my life~!

New Beginning

2008-03-08T03:43:00.004+08:00

Yes, i guess most of u hav know wat is happening.
Thx for the support.
Can i release everything out here? can i? tears tt i been holding on the whole day due to work?
yes i did let out now..cz i reali nid a shoulder for comfort now. y suddenly i become so weak? its all becz of e ad i saw on tv mobile today when i goin for work. sayin 4 new mamas stay in e same ward. one by one takin pics with husbands n their new born. my tears just dash out suddenly and i quickly alight..
oh god.. i cant stop crying... browsing thru bb pic last nite i cried. now browsing thru our wedding pics my tears r flowing non stop.. argh~!!!!!!!!!!!

will i be able to have the courage to wear a wedding gown ever again? will i be able to entrust my future with a guy? or is my bb able to call someone as her new father? tts too far to tink of. but i noe tt i wun b able to walk out this dark clouds so soon. i might seem calm n strong to some now but inside my heart, i m forcing myself to b doing well.

i m in complete lost at work today, made several mistakes. patron askin abt axs machine i heard into atm machine. patrons askin for 2 tix n i tell them 1. i m staring at the sky, looking at stars whenever i hav sesson break. i reali no mood to work but i cant run away. i nid my late night allowance. today n tml i must hold on. now, any extra income i could hav i wun not let go. becz i will b alone for my bb from now on.

in fact i wanted to update blog last nite bt my sis keyboard is makin my mood to turn bad to worst. all letters r link tgt, i had a hard time to express my tots to frenz. but now i juz bought a new keyboard now, so everything is fine.

this period of time i hav to do alot of things. once bb move over, i hav to b even more responsible m strong for my bb. single mum... can i do it? i tink i left with no choice.

most ppl reprimanding mi for wat had happened. though its him hu did wrong, i have fault too. blame on myself to giv him a chance to marry mi. knowing his char is lidat n so many object, i put e biggest stake of my life into him. all bcz i hope tt he will get rid of his old habit n b a gd dad. n i wanted to let my bb to hav a complete family. i tot aft all we had went thru he will get rid of tt habit. but i m wrong again.. v wrong again. i made my bb to live in misery with mi. how do or how shall i plan her future well? i noe tt compare between me and him, i will do a better job. i noe how to take care of bb. her habit all at e back of my finger tip.

honestly, deep in my heart. i do love him. i duno y. aft wat he had done, i still miss him. despite he owas ignoring me at home, i just duno y. i did tot of givin a chance bt i noe i hav to stop tt thinking. cz i noe he will go back to it again, den everything will replay. by then it will b too late. our bb wil b older. i rather get her out from him when she still duno anithing. he just never learn his lesson despite we r married n has a bb. i hav to giv up all hope in him, i must force myself to do tt.

i duno wat to say now too.. while i m still free now, i just wanna do things i wan now. so long nv buy alcohol home to drink.. at 1st plannin to go kbox with agu n miss chai but e latter too tired. n i noe if i go kbox i gonna scream n cry it out. i been holding it back e whole day i reali wanted to release. tot i can find someone to chat when i reach home but i m wrong. i had a bad time doin closing. this is my 1st closing shift aft 3months. so lost n my closing staffs r young boys hu cant help mi much, thx agu for callin office to help mi out.

charm..been practising drinking at home using DOM, now i bought 2bottles of alcohol from 7-11 n i still clear. argh........ ppl.. let mi be myself... i just wan to release out be4 bb arrive to my house. i realli nid one.... now listening to all songs related to both of us. some songs fit for us so well. jie kou, smell of lemongrass, sorry, wo zhen de shou shang le. many many.

sorry bb.. we oni hav e 1st and only family photo attached below. ur father dun like to take pics so this is e only one. .................................stop here liao.. duno wat else to say...

Our first and only family photo

Hmm..

2008-03-04T17:17:00.002+08:00

Hmm... juz back from an interview.. duno if i did it right. interviewer said alot to mi, about company about job scope, chat chat abit.. about 35mins? she hoping to get someone hu can get used to this very basic job to work for long. and while she telling me about other dept, i m thinkin if tts wat i wan. yes, v basic n i dun hav to use brains to work. but is tt wat i wan for the next few yrs?

when e interview is coming to an end, i told her this is not wat i wan. i wanted some job tt can mkae mi keep learning new tings. i dun wan to waste her time by tryin out e post a few mnths den quit. i wun quit so fast but i noe i wun stay long if i take up the post. she agree with me too. haha..

though i made a decision, i not sure if i make e rite one...tts y kp contacting hubby for small matters cz i wan to do things tt stop mi from thinkin too much..as in i duno i did it rite anot..

sian.. come home but hubby not ard.. tot he had red eye so he half day.. den tell mi tt he go tkae lappie den now heard tt he not home for dinner..aiyo him... eye red still dun wan to rest more...hai...later duno how long he nid to rest to recover... hope it dun affect his work.

i was rather happy tt he said he wwanna stop playing WoW. z lidat he can concentrate on his work more n i dun like him to keep playing WoW.. its affecting his health too.. owas not enuf slp n fall sick easily, somemore owas backache.

stop here liao.. time for dinner...

bye guys~

tml is the day~!

2008-02-27T16:44:00.002+08:00

omg..tml is e day to start work o... excited? unhappy? worried?
hmm...
hmmm...
hmmmm...
i m feeling....sian..wahaha.. y? cz all my previous working pants cant fit in now~!!! omg~! lucky all my skirts n dresses still ok..but den.. w/o pants, many of my tops cant match with my skirts.
sian man.. ytd went imm with sil, tot can fix my hp den go for trade in, but den its not at imm..its afew buildings away..sian.. duno when i can fix it..
went there to shop abit too, bought 1 top 1 bottom 1 pair of shoes 2 cardigan. haha.. all no big brands so cheap cheap..hehe.. now got bb, wanna buy ex things oso hav to think twice.

ok, enuf of work liao..hope everything goes well at work too.

oops..i went to feed bb n shower bb till i let pc on for 2hrs, haha..
tink i next time den contd to write abt bb. now watching er zuo ju zi wen part 2..omg.. feel like crying epi 11, but still can hold on, wahaha.. nicenice..aiya, bb cry..byebye

Averlyn's Pics~!

2008-02-20T15:04:00.001+08:00

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

some pics to view... some tots to write but too slpy to write now...cz i gonna b transferred to bishan~!! omg.. i will miss vivo.. i been there for 1 yr....hai..

for now...

2008-02-19T11:42:00.002+08:00

i shall make it a quick n short one cz my bb gonna cry soon cz she is turning here n there on her bed now, haha.. cz saw q a few comments so i tink i better write sth ba.

well guys, i went drink tt nite too, i mean fri nite. q bored there cz all toking canto but i can understand abit. appreciate they come too cz they come becz to acc mi. so we toktoktok. someting happened aft hubby joined mi but i shall not say it. it juz sth tt i tot tts it, he will ignore mi again for sth duno. cz aft we went back he nv tok to mi. juz as i tot everything is gonna b bad as usual, we tok like normal again aft goin to get hp tgt cz he nid to change hp n mine juz 'nice' e day be4 start to giv mi prob so i gonna change too.

we tok as usual when we walked to e shop, as if we r back to normal. he ask mi to get same model hp w him though i hesitate cz i dun use touch screen hp, but i jz get it lo since he kp asking. den even we walked back n thru out e whole nite, we realli back to normal till now, e very moment i m writing e blog.

actually i owas been complaining abt him. but when i tink to it, he did change better for e baby aldy. juz tt its not much n fast enuf. n for e guy i noe him frm day 1 till now, he did become more matured in his way. juz tt if u compare to others, u will feel he is e worst. he cared for bb but not much. but its better den nv care at all. i m talkin abt all these is not cz he treat mi normal now but tts wat i been tinking when i go to drink tt nite.

though every1 signing for mi, i tink alot when i drinking all those alcohol. n all these tots came to mi. i duno y my reaction is so fast n firm when my fren bf ask mi permission to giv him a slap. i said no firmly. i been talking abt his bad things n feelin heart broken n yet i so protective of him when things happened.

maybe i hold too much hope in him tt result in my thinking.
maybe i expect him to change alot to my ideal him in a short period.
maybe i been grumbling too much n never look at e small details/changes he made.

to him, he aldy changed. frm a flirt guy i noe frm day 1 to a family guy now. oni 3yrs. n he been goin ard to hav fun since sec sch. it been over 10yrs. how could i expect him to change to a 100% family guy in 3yrs. i tink i oni can wait for time to pass. slowly he will b better each day. like tt time we quarrel badly, i did see he improve abit. juz giv him time ba. while i juz lead my usual lifestyle now. though i grumble alot, i tink i hav to learn to b calm n be my 'single mum'. juz pray tt my bb noe how i been thru n appreciate mi when she is old.

like my 4th sis said. grumble so much for wat. u chosen e guy urself so u b responsible for ur life. i seems to make e wrong choice but too bad, i choose it i take it. q sad to see myself lidat now but i hav to learn to b contented. i gonna go back to work v soon. hope n tink i will b better once i m back. cz i can b w my frenz liao. juz tt i will b v blur w e work haha..

kk i shall stop here.. so hapi tt she havent wake up yet. if not i oso cant write tt long. thx everyone hu made comments. i noe u all cared n worried for mi, but i m ok. to him, yes he is not a 100% husband n father but i hav to b contented for e little changed he made esp with his type of character. now i m thinking abt e fortune teller said abt mi. cz his parents went to temple to get e prediction for e family. mine actually not tt gd. a couple of things hav to b extra careful, which there is one tt i duno i can do it anot. i cant say out wats abt it cz it confidential but i hope i can bear w it thru out e yr of rat ba.

take care folks! cant wait to meet xl n hs on thur for shoppin n meetin up~! byebye

蔡依林 - 柠檬草的味道

2008-02-15T15:53:00.000+08:00

蔡依林 - 柠檬草的味道

他们猜我们后来有没有再见　
离席了才会晓得怀念
突然我记起你的脸　那触动依然像昨天　
对自己　我终于也诚实了一点是不是回忆就是淡淡柠檬草　
对自己　我终于也诚实了一点是不是回忆就是淡淡柠檬草　
心酸里又有芳香的味道
曾以为你是全世界　但那天已经好遥远　
绕一圈　我才发现我有更远地平线我们都没错　只是不适合　
绕一圈　我才发现我有更远地平线我们都没错　只是不适合　
我要的　我现在才懂得
快乐是我的　不是你给的　
寂寞要自己负责毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿　
寂寞要自己负责毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿　
总是要过去以后才了解
突然我记起你的脸　爱不爱不过一念之间　
绕一圈　今天的我能和昨天面对面我们都没错　只是不适合　
绕一圈　今天的我能和昨天面对面我们都没错　只是不适合　
亲爱的　我当时不懂得
选择是我的　不是你给的　
明天自己负责给昨天的我一个拥抱　
明天自己负责给昨天的我一个拥抱　
曾经她不知如何是好
若我们再见我会微笑　
谢谢你　谢谢你　
我尝过　爱的好我们都没错　只是不适合　
我尝过　爱的好我们都没错　只是不适合　
我要的　我现在才懂得
快乐是我的　不是你给的　
寂寞要自己负责我要的　我现在才懂得
寂寞要自己负责我要的　我现在才懂得
选择是我的　不是你给的　
幸福要自己负责
错过的　请你把握

我的心已碎了

2008-02-15T15:51:00.000+08:00

听着张学友的'我真的受伤了', 有几句词写出我的心声..
人真的会变, 自己变了都不晓得.
你越是要一个人为你改变, 但他偏偏不会.
等着等着, 等到心都累了, 碎了.

难道周杰伦的'借口'真的是我们的主题曲吗?
每一句都写得好真实.
我好久没听这首歌, 以及蔡依林的'柠檬草的味道'.
没听是好事, 听是因为我的心又碎了.
这次会好吗? 我不敢去想.
想太多只会伤得更深.
我的心已碎得太多块.

经过了这么多的挫折, 换来一句'原来我根本不了解你'
为了你, 我放弃了不少, 但是我又得到了什么?
要你认错或说声对不起, 你却说我要翻旧帐.
当我最需要你的时候, 你却不采我,
那当初你就不要说你决定与我分享苦与乐,
说什么你会带给我幸福,
因为你现在带给我很多痛苦.

因为你, 我对婚姻失去了信心.
因为你, 我活得好不愉快.
因为你, 我相似得了忧郁症.
然而, 你却说我傻.

怎么办? 我真的开始对你没感情.
我的心已麻醉了,碎了, 死了.
我给你好几次机会, 但是你却不珍惜,
反而弄巧反拙.

离开你, 会好一点吗?
离开你, 你会知错吗?
离开你, 你会后悔吗?
认识你自今, 你永远不懂得学会珍惜我.
你只会怀念别人, 后悔当初应该选择她们.
我也后悔了, 但是我一直都努力往前看.

爱是什么?
爱情真的会带给人幸福吗?
还是带给人伤心的回忆?
对我而言, 爱情是伤人的.
有谁会让我对爱情恢复信心呢?

another disappointed vday..3rd yr in e row

2008-02-15T13:36:00.002+08:00

guess i dun nid to say, u all shd b able to guess how i feel.
since morning till 12am(15/2), i been hoping i hav sth from him. when he leave e room, i keep checking my drawer for surprise. but there is NOTHING. nothing at all. its e 3rd vday we had tgt but yet i nv receive anithing from him but disappointment. he knew i like vday esp e quarrel we had last vday. it ended up i goin to cinema watching 'happy birthday' alone and cried there.

this yr, i got him a wallet n gave him in advance, hoping he get my hint. but suan le. it shall be e 1st n last vday gift for him aft married. i realli duno how to fix up all e broken pieces of my heart now. too many pieces and no one helping me but oni keep smashing it to smaller pieces. all e unhappiness i felt in e house i everything keep in my heart. if i say out i get scolded if i dun, at least oni mi myself go crazy. no one in this fking house cares abt mi. all oni put up a show when all at home. when i m alone, no ones bother mi even i m trying all my best to comfort my bb from crying. someone oni noe how to sit down n glue his butt on e chair n play WOW when i m carrying bb in front of him. bb cry like no tml oso nv bother to take a look. oni when his parents is home den his dad carry for mi den he go out to 'show concern'. i dun nid such a husband nor my bb nid such a father.

ARGH~!!! i realli cant stnad my lifestyle now. i dun wan to face him. i dun wan to keep my unhappiness inside when i see him. if i tok it out we gonna quarrel again. i scare i split out e D word. a word tt i dun wan to say esp i get married cz i wanted to giv bb a complete family. i wan to move out of here.. a few days oso song. no one appreciate my presence here aniway. i oni can play n tok w my bb when she is awake n not crying. other den tt, my face is black, null. i hate it~!!!

miracle wher r u.... i going crazy soon~!!!!!!!!! i hate him~!

bored...

2008-02-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

wow, back to blogging... i was browsing some new blogskin but no mood to search for it.
i owas get moody when vday is drawing near. cz i noe its another day tt i will b sad. my last vday celebration is 2004. n its by my ex. e day tt i felt i m e most luckiest gal in e world. nv even feel tt day on my wedding. oops...

i was chatting with miss sun abt our ex. my god.. hate to tok abt tt topic but i owas cant stop recalling and talkin abt it. i shall not talk abt it animore. hv to look forward.
i was too bored last nite while waiting for bb to b up for milk. wait till i go to youtube to watch mtv.. esp e A mei song tt i posted days ago. even now i oso watched it. n now watching Lee Sheng Jie's Zui Jin. for hubby, it seems for every gal he had, he had a song suitable for them. for mi, he said its this song, tts wat he said be4 marriage. for tt woman its shan hu hai. oni some ppl noe abt it. so guys, if we go ktv, pls try not to choose tt song can? it juz hook bad memories to mi again. till now i tink no one understnad how i felt abt their affair. esp him. suan le.. skip topic ba..

i was editing friendster profile. wrote some lines tt its a little bit chim. but its truth.
i dun believe in promises and vows animore. look at wat was made last jul n now, all are forgotten. who says tt he made up his mind to b w mi n stay by mi n dun care wat others say. n who is e one hu said he dun understand mi at all 2weeks ago. y m i owas complaining abt my life now? all tink its hubby fault but in fact its mine. cz its mi myself hu choose to b with him. his character is all along like this be4 he met mi. compared to last time, he is slightly better now. even his sister can tell mi he brought abt 20gals home to stay liao.. oni tt i stayed e longest ma. cz i m e most stupid among all. many chnaces to leave him but yet i stayed. stayed w a guy who has so many flaws.

dun tok abt him. it juz make mi miserable. though he kiss mi on my forehead last nite but i dun feel love. i duno if i lost hopes/love in him. i m so lazy to argue w him for things i disagree. i juz keep quiet. cz if i make noise we sure quarrel.

nvm.. tonite is another outing. boss is back from somewhere n we all goin over for dinner. haha.. e last similar outing is when my bb is still in my stomach. wahaha.. its gonna b fun i hope. tts y i dun even care if i coughin n runnin nose now. haha.. elynn bring her bb over, so i can play w him, ahha.. not bringin mine since she still not stable.

kk shall stop here to get ready to go out liao
take care folks~!

to cont

2008-02-11T17:24:00.000+08:00

back again.. actually yesterday i was writing half but hubby was back so i juz shut it down.. so i shall re write again.. haha..

hm.. ok, we went tm relative houes. go there ppl was askin y we so late, but lucky tt he admit its cz he was playing game. then later bb starts crying again, duno y she go places other her own house, she cry non stop n refuse to slp. n everytime she cry outside, n when i carry her, she cries, but when fil or hubby or even mil carry, she quiet. it wil make everyone tink tt i seldom carry bb at home, tts y she refuse to calm down when i carry her. but truth is.. i carried n take care of her more den anione in e house.. suan le..sian... den soon i rush over to colleen place cz its aldy 645 when i told her i can b there at 6.

when i was there, fion, step n william juz reach too. so we faster prepare all e food for steamboat. den fion say aft dinner go down to st james. i duno can anot, cz dun dare to ask mil, bt in e end i heck care n call. sil pick up e call den she said mil says i go back anitime oso can. sometimes i reali duno she meant it honestly anot or she juz say things to spite mi. but forget it, i oso dun care so i go out w them lo. since tt time hubby quarrel w mi n said they will take care of bb, den i take it lo.. he said he had tok to his mum liao ma...so i go enjoy lo..

we left her place at 12+..reach st james abt 1245, n wa~ so many ppl, i feel so weird cz almost a yr nv go clubbing. but nvm, we went upstairs n as they owas go there, e ppl noes them, so we get ourselves a table in 15mins time. opened up e balance they drank last time, n they starts to drink. all scare i cant take it cz so long nv drink but i m ok la, cny aldy start drinking wines n beers at ppl house. at home oso drink yang ming jiu, haha... drink till 3+am den we left. while i went over to clark quay to join hubby at rumors. went there be4 but its e previous shop name. v bored w the old songs n dance. slack till 5am n say gonna hav breakfast tgt. wa..i aldy q slpy but nvm, juz go lo..in e end we reach home at 7am..omg..

slpt till 9am n bb cry, so i m up to take cre of her. cz mil took care of her e entire day so i shd let her rest liao.. n i bring bb back to amk house at 1pm n stayed till 9pm. she cry non stop again n refuse to slp. my mum see mi take care of her lidat oso noe i m v tired. n let alone i oni slp 2hrs hor... siansian sian...but nice thing is, my cousins came to my houes last min too. wow.. so long nv see them n i m close to them when i was young. so nice to see them.. n everyone has kids liao... haha.. imagine 12kids n babies in 1 house. chaos~!!!

back home n bb still dun wan to slp. hubby mumble tt he duno y bb dun wan to slp esp today. in my heart i was tinkin, wat was he trying to say? trying to say y today i bring her back n she lidat?? well, i nv reply him anithing cz i aldy q fed up abt something he said abt my mum. cz tt time when we quarrel, he said my mum went to tok bad things abt them to my mum sis, who is e ah ma of e kid tt my mil take care of. sayin y dun put e kid to child care so mil can take care of my bb oni. i told him tt my mum wun said such thing liao. n yst when my mum wa arguin y i feed bb 4+hrs once, i fed up n tell her off not to say things to other ppl liao. i noe she is angry when i said tt but i reali vexed when 2 grps of ppl telli mi to do things differently. mil said feed on demand n drag as long as possible, drink 150ml = at least 4.5hrs den can drink. my mum is once bb cry, let her drink, esp 3hrs drink once n cant go longer den tt. if i follow mt mum, i get questioned by mil again. so i beg everyone ther not to force mi liao, cz i cant ans to my mil if i feed her earlier.

later my mum tells mi tt, abt e child care thing, she nv say anithing abt mi n bb to other ppl, inculding her sis. its her sis hu told her e same thing herself. so e whole thing actually is my aunite says one, n but my mum. i nv explain to hubby for tt. cz i noe he wun b bother. he all along dun like my famiy, so wats e pt of explaining. i juz feel bad tt i malign my mum. next time i shall trust myself n not thigns he or other ppl says. i noe my family better den others, shant let them malign them ever again.

ok, wrote long liao.. tml got gathering again~! yeah..n not goin to clubbin la, haha.. my ex boss is back to town so we goin over her place to eat. n sian lo, everytime i got such boss gathering, i m sick. now i m down w slight coughin n running nose. but heck care, i shall go out tml. no one to stop mi. i rem every single word tt hubby said tt time so i shall folllow it. i shall enojy myself.

k la, i go shower now, later got to bring sil to causeway pt liao..take care folks~!

my return to st james~! WoooWOoo

2008-02-10T16:59:00.000+08:00

wow... its e longest outing i went aft birth. from 7pm to 7am. cant help to worry abt bb at times but nvm, mil will take care n i brought bb to amk whole day so she can enjoy herself lo.

at 1st i tot hubby n i will reach his tm relative house at 3+ den i shall stay till 4+ den go n meet colleen to bring food. who noes tt he is playin WOW from 12pm till 445pm.. i was there waiting for him for 2hrs, wait till i duno y i cry. maybe tinkin i aldy late to meet them den i cant say i dun wan to go his relative house cz this is e 1st yr i go as his wife. was cryin secretly in kitchen den faster 'dry' myself when i noe he is ready to leave. i guess he noe i not hapi n even noe i cried, cz his face oso black black n ask mi not to go his relative place. but i insist i hav to go as a form of respect.

i duno y i can cry easily now, even on e cab there my eyes r teary which i close it to 'rest' to prevent it from droppin. i opened to see scenery outside den happened to see hubby lookin at mi. but e expression is not those worried n heartpain(he nv feel tt way) . but was those 'wat is it again tt u wanna cry'. when i asked him y he look at mi, he said nth. hai.. more sian....

arg....bb crying... to b cont again....

First time giving angbao~!

2008-02-07T23:44:00.000+08:00

first of all, hapi cny to all of u~!
i might sound hapi with my 1st line but in fact i m not.

well, i was saying i hope i can hav a tok w him. yes i did as i asked him. but things ended up in a way tt i dun wan. dun wanna say in details as he keep sayin i spread news ard to everyone on how his family mistreating mi n how i lose my freedom. which all r not true. so i shall learn to keep things within mi, lets see when i will go crazy again. its not as if i go ard telling every single one. i oni tell in details to a FEW of my closer frenz, n its reali a FEW. tink abt 3 oni.

well well.. e quarrel lasted a while. how bad it is? i tink we almost say e letter D word i guess. we juz couldnt seem to understand wat we r tryin to tell each other. eg. i wan him to share task of taking care of bb tgt, but he take it as i dun nid to do anithing now as he take care of bb himself. askin him not to contact tt particular woman, he take it as i m controllin his freedom to make frenz.

ok, we hav fault. its my fault to sound so harsh in e sms. guess i m too angry liao. n its his fault to take things in diff way. reali wanted to move back my house tt nite bt he dun allow cz if i go, more prob will come. so i tahan. n let us calm down. i noe his pattern, so i wun contact or tok to him at all for tt few days. while mi? i oso nv tok to him, no smile.. juz take care of bb.

i was so depress tt i went to meet yw n go vivo to find miss lee they all. everyone askin mi, do i miss my bb? i said no cz i reali dun miss her. maybe she is e root of all probs but i noe she is innocent. but i juz too vexed to miss her. went tangs to get him a wallet. actually i wanted to get him 1 for his bday but tt time i doin confinement so i couldnt go out, so i send him a mms w mi n bb pic to him while he is having fun at e pub. i tot i could find e one he said he like when i went shopping w him a week ago. but in e end, all thz to yw, i found another design tt i like. OOps! i like..haha.. no la, i tink its suitable for him, esp w e clip to put his notes. though it cost 50bucks more den e one he like but nvm, its belated bday gift + v day gift.

mayb u guys tinkin, y we quarrel yet i buy him present? i feel tt its 2 diff issues, all along i wanted to get him sth. its oni tt along e path we quarrel but its still e 1st vday we will go thru as hubby n wife. though he nv get mi anithing for vday for e past 2yrs, wat can i do? tts him. i m jz someone hu he is used of having in his lifestyle n not those he super love at a sight n wanted to giv e person everything she likes or he tink its suitable for her.
since i marry him, i shd accept him, nv expect to change him. if i ever get sth frm him on vday, i shall take it as a surprise. but i shall not pin high hope, in fact i nv expect anithin.

went some places for cny day 1 today. go ah ma house, den go pray pray den my place. hubby family has a traditional, which is to eat zai on every cny day 1. its new to mi, though his parents told mi its ok to eat half day but since i m married to him, i shall follow them. though i reali wanted to eat steamboat at my place cz i love it alot. went my place, mum noes i cant eat steamboat, so my parents specially cook 2 simple veg dishes for us. so touched to see them doin these for mi. for how i made them angry n sad over preparing my wedding, they still treat mi so gd.. make mi love them more n hope i can do more things for them.

ok, aft tt, i went back his ah ma place. they like to stay there v long n many days. they r used to this lifestyle since young so i no prob w it though i m super quiet n bored there. 2 little gals(his niece n his sis) drag mi down to go downstairs walk walk cz they v bored at home. sil (sis in law) said she wanna go 7-11 since e shop downstairs r close. so we walked lo. den she said sth tt make mi sad again. she said she oso duno there hav 7-11 till e woman bring them there on cny day 1 2yrs ago. abit piss n unwilling to go esp i noe its gonna do w her. but suan le.. e kids wanna go buy food, so i go lo. they were tellin mi wat happened on tt day too. e woman brought them down to buy food is to ask them to tell her e truth. cz everyone she greeted at his ah ma house ignored her. tts y she noe abt mi. ah rou said she dun like her from e 1st sight. so goes e rest. but well.. they r kids.. if dun like, den y can smile when taking pic w her? suan le.

damn.. her face is appearing in my mind again. y she disturb my life so much. i watched part of e cny show last nite, they were tokin abt e prediction for this yr. saw hubby's, which is monkey. worst, it says old love will rekindle( hope i dun spell wrong) married couples hav to take note. omg.. wat a prediction. tt time went loyang temple to pray, oso wrote a prediction on his monkey will happened. nvm, i shall shun qi zi ran.

lastly, tt time i went vivo, i watched e movie 27dresses. tokin abt a woman, jane, hu owas b other ppl bride maid, n owas wanted to get married but yet couldnt find e guy of her dream. she secretle love her boss, george, n when she decided to express her love to him, he fall in love w her sis, jess, at 1st sight. den all along there was a reporter, kelvin, hu keep contacting her as he find jane interesting. y? cz he lost hope in wedding but she pin high hopes in weddin. so things happened q interesting as it show how kelvin n jane fall in love w each other wo realising it. but in e end they get tgt la. i dun wan to say e movie in detail cz i wrote v long liao. to summarize it, a simple movie which make mi wanna cry in cinema. y? cz tt day i went out cz i m depress. seeing e movie tokin abt how ppl preparing their weddin n how they made their vows remind mi of my weddin. vows tt kept mi wondering if it last...

ok, time to stop here.. hungry.. no appeitite but mouth itchy. whole day eat zai n now i shall go cook noodles. hope he like e wallet n use it. if he dun, den suan le. we did tok more n more each day bt we dun seems v hapi w each other. so see hw ba.. since i aldy dun pin high hopes..

take care folks~! n i will take care too~!

to cont

2008-02-03T19:32:00.000+08:00

paiseh, rush to feed baby juz now tt i juz end my blog 1st. where was i? ok..heehee

den in sms i oso tell him tt i scare bb duno hu is her dad since her dad owas not ard w her. askin him if he remember wat he had said to me when i qn him if he is serious to marry mi. cz he said he will bring mi happiness, share joys n woes w mi till old. but i tink he forget liao.

i might sound bad in sms but i tink i cant stand it. cz i tinking y he can go out aft work. weekend is e time he can spend more time w bb yet he still use e time to go out till late, else he is playing WOW from day to nite. den at nite complain to mi tt he is tired n wans to slp early. if u r workin hard at work den tell mi u r tired, i dun mind. but if u r tired cz u go n play games or go out, haha..so sorry, i will feel v piss off. dun ever say tired in front of mi if its not work related or not due to helping out w bb. cz in term w tired, i guess i m more tired den you. our bb cant slp well, i got to b on standby 24/7. u cant expect mi to slp in e noon cz ur bro n e small kid is so noisy. den wat do ppl tink if someone owas slp in e noon? how would they noe tt i nv slp at nite? these days i oni sp ard 3hrs per day cz bb dun slp well from 11pm till 8am. den i got to b on standby from 9-11 cz mil bring small kid to apple class. soon its nooon, how to slp? ur mum might noe i m tired but she cant help much cz she got tons of things to do n worry. i dun wan to add on her burden esp i dun nid to do ani housework. so i keep everythin to myeslf as much as i could. aft havin so little time to slp, yet u tell mi u r tired n wan to slp early. who wun feel piss..but nvm...

m i reali too much to say tt in sms tt u giv mi black face? aft bb is out, n when i reali cant stand my stress lvl, i sms u abt how i feel. u nv say sorry to mi, u oni show black face. help abit but soon u forget abt my sms n everything back to normal. dont u noe u reali dun look like u hav a daughter at home liao? i wanted a nice tok w u n settle things peacefully. not saying things den forget it soon. dun owas tell mi off of things i did poorly as u tink. if u r so great, show it to mi. i m someone hu oni listen if tt person show mi tt he/she is capable of doin e thing he/she wans mi to do.

aft i sms u, we tok like stranger. yes i throw bb to u to take care aft u saw e sms. i went to slp while bb cryin even though she by ur side. i didnt help. y? cz when i m experiencing it, u nv come to my rescue. i wan u to noe how i feel when i m alone w her. sometimes u noe my plot but yet u do nth to it. i aldy look like a single mum thru out my pregnancy n labouring, yet i still look like one even bb is out?! i envy ppl hu hav their hubby by their sides to giv them support when they r in pain for labouring. cz my hubby was beside mi slping n watching tv while i was in pain. it look as if i m not carrying ur bb. lucky my curtain r drawn, if not ppl see liao tot hu is this guy if he is not my hubby. theres no pt of acting caring towards mi n bb when got ppl ard, its too fake. i rather b alone. y u care so much abt mian zi? sometimes i juz hate e fact u mind tt.

argh.... so sian w llife.. been slpin in study room so many days... 4walls, no tv... i oni can c yao lan n my mattress n books ard mi. n baby. i cant play pc cz i m struggling to hav rest while i m lookin out if bb moves alot or make noise. i can go crazy w tt kind of environment. i did went crazy a few times n situation doesnt improve. i tink its time for mi to go chiong liao. i seen u havin too much fun time outside when i m at home takin care of bb. i shall organise one this week or next week. u better rem wat i said in my sms. dun giv mi birdie when i wanna go out. n nv try to throw bb to ur mum to take care instead.

i dont even noe if hubby would read this but i juz write in e form of tellin him in my blog cz i feel better using this method. k la, wrote v long... bb juz slpt, i go try to hav some rest too. n of cz i hope i can hav a nice tok w him to settle everything n not havin cold war.

tkae care folks~

2008-02-03T18:17:00.000+08:00

paiseh, accidentally del e 1st line, which is : 面带微笑离开你怀里我听天由命
a song by ah mei which i heard on radio when i went back to giv cny tings to my mum.
e following lines r v true to mi:
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可伶兮兮
都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情

yes, i hate myself for loving u. hate myself for giving up a great guy for you. for someone hu owas duno how to cherish ppl oni when they leave. hate myeslf for tinking too much for others which oni result myself for getting hurt. n wat do i do in e end? complaining to others abt how unfair my life is. which its all becz of myself tt result my life to end up this way.

juz sms hubby sth last nite when he went out from 3pm till 2am. e nite be4, he went drinking till drank, his fren got to send him home for tt. send him home when i was feedin baby. i knew it would happen when his fren sms mi if i m awake. this time, i dont feel worried for him compared to how i would in e past. i juz tinkin, y e father of my bb is doing this again? does he has so much unhappiness or topics to share w others till he get drunk? if drinkin can numb someone, i tink i wan to do it to myself. i m v vexed abt it. i cant go out drink so wat i do? i drink my yang ming jiu at home, oso 40% alcohol n its gd for health~! wahahaa... i oso get abit blur for drinking tt ok? hehee.. still gt 1.5bot of tt to finish, not forgetting e few boxes of essence tt i havent drink yet.

sms him..y he noe its unfair to mi yet he do nth to it. tellin him tt i spent too much time on bb till i do not hav spare time for myself. i trying to look for new job yet i no time to edit resume n send it out.

我恨我爱你

2008-02-03T18:12:00.000+08:00

我恨我爱你
歌手：张惠妹　专辑：真实
词:郑淑妃曲:陈达伟

我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里
二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你
就放过自己
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可伶兮兮
都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可伶兮兮
都怪我太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
没关系…
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句
我爱你

back~ restless again

2008-01-31T12:29:00.000+08:00

finally able to bring bb into my room n she is slpin well now on my bed. its been 2weeks since she slp on my bed cz hubby dio chicken pox. she had a hard time to adapt to e study room n slping in e yao lan n now she canot get used to our room.. sian..

scientific term is colic, pandang term is 'dirty tings'. duno y ever since she slp study room, she couldnt slp well. had a tough hard putting her to slp for several nights n mil helpin mi. even now she oso lidat. duno y.. n it makes mi v paiseh to hav mil to take care of her e whole nite, causin her not enuf rest while she ask mi to go back room n slp. i tried my best to comfort bb yet i failed, sian..but this time i nv throw temper hor...

cz tt fri aft my hubby dio ckn pox n i havin high fever, i m reali very tired of taking care of bb. i supposed to go irene house for bbq, sth tt i looked forward to as i havent go out to meet frenz aft 1 month. den yet, he got e pox n i had fever. worst is, i hav to take care of bb despite my fever. felt so giddy n sick when i get up n down to attend to her. finally i began to breakdown. tt nite, mil they all juz step out e house, she cried, cry n cry non stop. feed her liao oso cry. i hav to iron clothes, wanna c tv, hungry yet she dun giv mi a min of peace. hubby cant help as he had e pox, n i realli blow my temper. i beat her i yao her hard hard to make her quiet yet i fail. i noe i m rough but i m realli out of my wit. in e end i burst into tears aft 3+hrs n went to hubby. he den call his mom to come home faster. n they let mi rest for e nite.

i had more rest yet i still not feelin welll physically n mentally. sat nite, i was 39.8deg liao yet i m taking care of her. realli v sian of my life at tt pt of time yet i nv tell anione abt my fever. i even wrote my yi yan in my sms, so tt aniting happen to mi e next morn, at least i had my last words. but aft i sweat it out, i felt better. but next morn i kp dazing ard. mind blank blank duno wat to do. when everyone went out i breakdown in study room. in e end i tell hubby i wanna go home find my mum. he allow mi. so i went back to complaint everything to my mum. tink my 1st time crying in front of her to tell her my probs. i dun wan to let her worry for mi but i realli cant stand it. happened tt 4th sis called home so i complain to her too. next day 3rd sis call to see how m i. this is wat i meant by family warmth. sth i nv felt in here. i felt much better aft e visit n nv throw temper at bb animore, instead i sayang her more.. it realli makes a diff...

i had a tok w hubby 2days ago, tellin mi wat i hav done rite n wrong. disagreed w some of e points. n most imprtly, all e comments is by him n not his mum lo. make mi misundestood her. duno y ppl say tings w/o telling us hu r e ones saying it. his sis oso, sometimes she too blunt till she hurts mi. n i duno she tellin mi how she tink or mil ask her to tell mi. tue mi n hubby went out cut hair n buy his clothes. oni went out 2hrs, sis call to ask us faster eat n come home. say bb kp crying. make mi gan chiong. aft tt meet his cousin for dinner. 6+pm, his sis called again, rushin us back. in my heart, i tinkin worrying wat went wrong, y she kp rushing mi. i wanna go bk but hubby say nvm. but icant shop in peace. tt time she oso say mi y i owas go out. she is young so i nv scold her. i owas go out? is goin to causeway pt consider goin out? i go out to buy food n cny clohtes lo... furthest i went is my amk house n tt orchard shopping, n no more.. i nv scold her y out of 7 days they owas went out at nite for abt 4-5days. hu r e ones hu owas go out? suan le, she is young...

it juz pressure mi at times. dao di his mum ok tt i go out or she not happi. can i go out anot. when can i finally meet frenz to go out? i hav no freedom now. so wat shd i do? told hubby i wanna try bring bb out to causeway to tryout, he said sure fail cz bb sure cry. den how? i go out alone later kena call back home, go out w bb scare she cry, den in e end i m stuck at home.

i still hav many to say... i waited so long tt i can use my pc in e room n bb slpin well. miss all these times... wondering how i gonna handle my life when i return to work. hubby oso noe its unfair to mi for taking care of bb. even say y not i go work n he take care of bb. in my heart i wanted to say tt i rather tt way. at least i go home straight n seldom go out aft work. but suan le, i decide not to say it out, even ask him y still contact tt bitch. i nv trust tt bitch. now we r married n got bb, y still contact my hubby, be it hu contact hu 1st. told mi nv see him again, in e end, still see.. now aft 1+yr still contact. hubby oso noe i hate her to core but y still contact her. told him straight tt i dun like it. but i doubt he will listen n stay away frm her. so i purposely tell him tt i still miss my ex, which is e truth. since he can contact someone i hate, y for i care for his feelings when i tok abt my ex. mayb he feel nth at all. so sian of this life... y even my bb oso dun listen to mi n b gd. siansian sian.... wat hav i done so wrong in my previous life to make my life miserable now? so wat i trying to b gd.. i nv kill a mosquito for more den 10yrs (not kiddin), see ants drowning in water tt i accidentally spill on, i faster take tissue to save them. i nv kill insects on purpose n if i can save i save them. but wat for? save them doesnt make my life good... i hate my life now~!!! no freedom~!!

Life has to go on

2008-01-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

sian sian sian.. by rite i shd b attending irene bbq at her place.. but i had fever e nite be4, 38.4 deg.. lucky tt jen bought mi e thermometer to monitor, hahaa.. e previous nite my hubby kena fever too, den i tot by last nite he would feel better n help to take care of bb since its my turn to b sick. but guess wat? cz fil scare he kena dengue so we went to doc.. and he was down e ckn pox!!! 2nd time for him. omg... meanin 2weeks he cant carry bb n i got to b alone... damn... but nvm, no diff w or wo his help.

we was toking abt my stress lvl be4 we went for doc. he kp askin mi to c doc so tt he noe if i can take care of bb anot. den was tellin mi y i get so agitated easily now. again, all nonsense/dao li he gav mi, i juz kp telli him, put urself in my shoes n u noe y, but i tink he couldnt get wat i m trying to say.... forget it. i ws too sick to ans him since he still dun understnad. cz i m super hot n v giddy, walkin ard make mi feel tt i m fainting anitime too.

i duno y my feelings for him like fading... when i noe he got ckn pox, my 1st tot is not 'omg, how? is he ok', instead i was like 'damn...i got to take care bb again' in fact i m v sian of my lifestyle.. i mean lifestyle, not life.
confinement = rest more, other things other ppl do. mine? nv rest enuf, got wound yet at nite climb up n down to feed/pat bb. i duno y but i owas feel paiseh to let my mil take car of bb. mayb cz she got too many things to do/wori n yet hav to help mi. so if i can, i do things myself. thus i m so tired all e time.

i no time to online so long cz bb owas cry when i wanna do my things. so i owas sms my fren. my fren oso say, if my life is a drama, sure alot of auntie cry... true.. i nv write everything out in my blog cz i like to hide things inside, thus my fren owas scare i go mad 1 day. i saw sth juz now, abit down to c it but now i m ok..cz my heart is half dead... or shd i say, half dead long ago when i in hosp to deliver bb. i still look/behave/live like a single mum. who noes? i can b one sooner or later... haha, i hav no prob to b on my own...cz for my life, i m aldy forced to face many diff things to b independent.

10more days~!

2008-01-06T14:50:00.000+08:00

finally my confinement is comin to an end.. its tiring but i wanna take chilli n cold drinks badly~! when weather is hot i still oni can take my longan tea n hot milo lo... though at times i heck care n drink water but i still wan cold drinks~! no chilli for 1 mth is torturing as well~!! argh..

even if my confinement is over, i doubt i be goin out often cz i still cant handle bb well on my own. at times still nid mil help to calm her down. duno y everyone carry she cry but mil carry she stops. funny is.. mil nv carry her all the time. maybe she expert n noe how to carry bb well till bb feel secure w her ba. i still clumpsy at times esp my left hand n wrist hurts everytime i feed her n burp her.

but gd news is.. bb finally can slp longer in my room~! there r nights tt she cry non stop n my mil hav to take care of her from 2am onwards instead of e usual 6-7am. den she slp livin room w bb, cz bb likes living room alot for no reasons. make mi so guilty when i go back room to slp. den past 2 nights i kp changin her slpin place, den now found e better place tt she prefers..but its in between mi n hubby... so we 2 cant slpt tgt cz she in e middle of us. even blanket have to split. cz i slpin under aircon straight, while hubby slp on floor. hai..

i tink i make many ppl worried abt my previous blog. well, i juz wanna fa xie myself, thus wrote several bad comments. dun wori guys.. i m still living fine, haaha.. i do complain alot on hubby. but duno y he gettin better now. though he nv change bb clothes n diapers now, seldom feed bb now, BUt he helps to carry her n pat her when she make noise. when he at home, he owas ask mi rest den he carry her. cz he noe at nite i got to b up for bb.

when i still wondering wat to get for him for his bday this coming fri, last nite he hug mi n said bb is the best bday present frm mi liao. kinda touched n glad he appreciated tt. but still feel i wanna get him sth. its either i get fren to buy n send to my place, otherwise i buy aft my confinement cz oni 5days diff. hai..duno la..hahaa

last ting to mention.. i havin more n more stretch marks~! omg.. its terrible.. at 1st i duno y so itchy all over. i tot i nv eat enuf ginger den my hot heat canot come out but now i seeing more n more markings formin frm the spots i scratch. argh.. kinda depressin to see these ugly markings. my butts r 'ruin' cz of all these. cz when i pregnant, i duno y i hav itchness till my butt got many scars liao, den now markings.. but nvm, no one supposed to c my butt except my hubby but i cant stand the scars~! now my tummy, thighs all hav markings..how to wear shorts next time.. dun even noe i dare to go swimming anot...argh....
oni gd thing abt e markings is tt i noe i m slimmin down. though i nv do ani exercise at home. oni tt i nv eat much n owas carry bb. haha...

k la..wrote long enuf. cz feel tt if i dun update my blog, scare more ppl tot i gonna do stupid things. dun wori k... i m ok now.. owas tryin to tink positive. thx for all e concern~!

take care folks~! i shall look forward for my bb full mnth celebration this coming sat but still got many havent reply mi e ans~~! argh~!!

life sux

2007-12-30T14:50:00.000+08:00

its been 2 weeks since my little one is born into this world but i m getting more and more tired each day. i thought confinement supposed to mean that the mother should have alot of rest while the rest do the job? my life is never been nice to me...
Having a wound on my stomach doesnt mean i don't need to get up in the middle of the night to attend to my baby. looking at the person sleeping so soundly beside me while i keep getting up and down for my baby really make me feel that why am i doing all these. i did slim down these weeks but why is it so? i guessed its because i havent been sleeping well since day 1 and yet the person who slept alot always complain he not enough sleep.
my temper is getting worst lately, health is not at the peak too. having some problem to pump milk as i always wanted to puke out when i do so. Checked with my sisters and frenz and none of them have the same situation before.
i really wanted to leave just like that but i know i could not. why am i trapped in this world in such a way. Why world is nv been fair to me, wat have i done to deserve such a lifestyle? being nice to others doesnt mean i deserve gd things. sometimes really tired until i duno i will fall aslp while trying to feed her and i drop her onto the floor anot. sometimes so fed up with the person beside me till i dont care when baby is crying and continue sleeping so that he can be waken up by the crying and handle the problem himself. this is wat i did last nite. i only slpt 3hrs the day be4 while he slpt 8-9 hrs. i only had my 4hrs slp jz now due to e solution i wrote just now becz he has been sleeping soundly for at least 5hrs. wat does weekend mean? it should mean that husband help his wife more when he has lots of time at home. but y mine is still playing the bloody fking warcraft all the time. otherwise meeting frens and wanting to go his grandma house?? am i and my baby transparent? i have been stuck at home to face the baby and loneliness. and his mum oso nv leave the house to help me out and yet the father is doing all this fking rubbish? wat r all my tears and advise i given him? he forgotten so fast again? sometimes i juz cried in e middle of the night while feeding baby. why i cant juz open the window and jump off? to let him handle everything himself.. to make him wake up when something is gone forever? even his close frenz asked mi to be independent becz he will nv learn and be thoughtful for others. to give my baby a complete family is a wrong choice? i should have chosen the path to be a single mum in the beginning? i cant imagine how life would become when i go back to workplace. even now, i have lots of time, i felt so tired, let alone when i go back to work.
why his parents dont know how to bring up kids well? my hubby lidat and dun mention tt bloody useless and fking brother. i juz diao him when i walk pass him. how i wanted to giv him a slap and kick him out of the house everytime he turn into a mad dog. a complete failure. serve him right tt ppl call him bull dog cz he did has a bulldog face.

ARGH~! i cant stand my life~! i need a long break.. i need a long sleep. i do not have suppprt from him when i in labour bcz he was there beside me but he as watching tv and sleeping while i screaming for help. i do not have support from him when baby cries and i m the one waking up in the middle of the night to feed her and attend to her.
i shd have stayed in fish n co to be a fulltimer and not join carls jr. if i did tt, all these will be diff. perhaps my life is better.
life sux... till now i still dun feel tt my baby come from me... cant imagine she is the one from my stomach. i m juz so tired... v v v tired of my life....

Part 2

2007-12-24T14:12:00.000+08:00

hehe.. i m back~!
Hmm, where did i stop.. stopped at delivery process?? ok. lets tok abt life aft she is back home.

of cz, i m excited tt i can discharged with baby tgt cz she has risk of gettin huang dan.. but now ok liao..
my room oni change alittle bit.. bed arrangement lo.. seems ok ba but i hav to ensure i dun throw my pillow to bb bed cz she juz slping bside mi.
1st nite is terrible.. i tink i nv heel mil advise. i see bb cry i feed her, by rite its 3hrs feed once but everytime i breastfeed her, she drink 10mins den stop. by rite its 15-20mins per side but she oni drink 10mins 1 side n tts it. den she get hungry v fast. every 40-1hr she cried once. terrible~! i cant slp at all. hubby was slping soundly aft 4am but i nv slp till 7+. cz mil came in e room to ask y she kp cryin n ask mi to slp while she take over. but nv slp long cz got visitors. but my eyes was v obvious with dark circles. den we decided tt we shall feed her milk powder at nite so we noe how much she drinks. n now, i pump out milk den feed her thru bottle cz lidat i noe how much she drank n how much to increase the amount.

2nd nite was q funny. bb keep crying on her new bed.. mayb too small den she cant slp. den we tinkin y she can slp so soundly on sofa e whole afternn? den we shift 2 pcs of e sofa to make it as her bed. n she did slp better liao but she tend to move alot when slpin in my room. when she slp in living room, she so guai n nv move.. haha..

shitting n change diapers, wipe body in e afternn, feedin her. my worst nite mare is still feeding her. my record was 5mins 50ml, so happi when she so guai. everytime feed her will take at least 30mins, sometime 1 hr. but now, sian.. mi n hubby feed her, she owas left 10-20ml dun wan to drink, cz she fell aslp. but when my mil feed her e remaining, she can finish. diao~! so bu gan yuan.. i copied all tactics used by hubby n mil but i still cant master. but diaper ok liao.. within 5mins chopchop done. haha...

mil n fil told mi tt bb is clever cz she noe how to suck her pacifier cz some bb oni noe how to do tt when they 1 week old while she juz 4-5days n she noe how liao. but duno gd anot cz dun intend to let her suck so much. but bo bian.. when she cries, u juz wanna try all tings to stop her from crying.. esp in e middle of e nite..hahaa..

till now i still no enuf slp.. owas bcz bb refuse to slp well at nite.. but everytime when time is approaching 5am i v happi cz mil waking up den i can pass her to take over, wahahaa.. den i go slp till10+.. so basically oni slp 4-5hrs per day.. argh...~!! i miss my 8-10hrs slp when i m pregnant.

now i understand y ppl will say i will miss e time when bb in my tummy.. it is v true~!!!
ok.. tok long enuf.. feelin slpy.. got to go slp a while... i take every opportunity to slp in e aftnn when she helping mi. at nite i can slp more den 2hrs cz i got to b up to feed her. hubby did help to feed n sayang her. oni tt he dun change diapers n wipe her body. nvm, help to feed ok liao.. can see he love our bb too..hhe.. did noe how to sayang mi at times.. not to mention my fil.. everytime see him sit beside sofa to look at his grand daughter.. esp she is born on his bday, haha.. k la.. v tired..

take care folks~!

Averlyn Pang Yan Ting

2007-12-20T16:36:00.000+08:00

yo ppl...i m back~! not alone but w my baby gal.. name as stated as abv...
潘妍廷 but e yan is diff pronunciation as yw n yq.. mine is yan2.. name is 1st choice given by fortune teller... it sound ok n to respect my fil, we take it.. oni tt his cousin oso call en ting... so we hav 2 ting born in tis yr.. hehehe..

but her delivery is a torture!!!! even her 1st day home oso make my life miserable, oni slp 2hrs.. cz she every 40mins wake up crying for milk... n i havin bad muscle ache esp my left hand.no strength liao.. hahaaa.. lucky mil helped mi... if nt i dun hav e 2hrs of slp...

16dec 3am..as mi n hubby gonna slp. pain came.. den 5mins again n again..oops.. saw blood too..i was tinkin tt is it... 2 out of e 3 signs came..tahan till 4am to call dr ang..asked mi to reach hosp at 8.
but i cant take it till 6am n more blood is seen. i heck care n wake hubby to get ready. he is pissed cz he havent slp much n i drag him up, haha.. den fil, mil drove mi to hosp. when i reach i was like.. oh shit.. i not pain liao..how? if false alarm den i will b v paiseh..hahaa.. but wrong. pain come soon.. i was like help~! wher is my doc?? den a nurse help mi check n my cervis not open at all~!! kns.. but pain liao lo.. y nt open.. nvm, i stayed in delivery ward to tahan abit while they monitor e cervis.. while hubby slpin on e chair.. dr ang is here.. n again, cervis not open.. n he ask mi go home 1st.. i was like wth... pain till lidat ask mi go home... i was crying when i heard tt.. its like... i pain every 3-5mins n tell mi not open n telll mi go home?! in e end he ask mi to go normal ward as delivery ward more ex..as charged by hr..

ok..to normal ward aft stayin in d.ward for 5hrs. lunch came but i cant eat cz pain set in every 5mins.. i was trying to tolerate it too.. tot tings r gettting better n i tot of goin back too.. den aft xueli n lifeng came to visit mi at 3pm.. duno y pain came back.. n more worst.. at 1st i still can go walk ard to call sis n mum while pain came slowly.. den when i take a walk w them outside.. i in pain for every 5mins.. i was leaning on e wall when i in pain.. go to bed still e same. hubby not ard as he went for lunch.. den i was tinking to take epidural anot if still so pain.. i realli dun wan but its pain... but i called dr ang to tell him tt i wan to induce.. meaning to put pill inside to make cervis open faster. 5pm.. nurse came to check. oni open 1.5cm. my god~! i in pain liao lo.. dr ang still not in sight though i called him at 2+. he finally came at 6 n tell mi open 2cm.. which mean open 0.5 cm in 1 hr time... den 10cm = ?? 16hrs?? i told him i cant take it n wanted epidural..but he told mi not yet. 3cm den can take n will take 8-10hrs to lose effect. i was like wth... 3cm meanin 2more hrs?? i was crying for help adly.. pain set in 2-3times every 1 min.. 1min hor... i realli grabbed hubby hand for help when it came. i feel like shitting when contractions came, i tried to push when it come. tts wat my sis advise mi to do so.

doc is leaving n i cant take it.. i decide to go for ops. i noe another 8-10hrs i reali duno how i gonna take it. y frenz n others oni take 8-10hrs to finish everything n i aldy in pain for 16hrs n still 2cm? i considered all e aft effect to take ops n i reali wanted to go for natural birth w/o epidural but i cant take it liao.. hubby called doc to tell him my decision. doc oso like dun wan to do it cz he wanted mi to go for natural but i insist.

so he came.. i was push to ops room from 630+ onwards.. when nurse came to get ready i was telling them to wait when my contraction came. ok..7pm.. i started taking injection to ma zhui n on drip. soon i feel numb in lower body.. v weak.. they testing if i can feel pain n i did not detect ani. ok, ops started.. i know my stomach is moving.. but no pain.. soon doc ang call another doc to push out baby for mi. ouch~! no la oni pain a few sec n i heard baby crying.. hehe.. wa~ tears came out as soon as i heard it. but hubby nv cry la..hahaa.. den they put my baby in front of mi for 5mins? let mi see my little 1 be4 pushing her to take measurement w hubby. den they started stitching mi.. n my side effect set in.. which is shivering. i saw fil mil n his grandma when i was pushed out. but i was trembling liao.. they tot wat happen too..haha.. den i was lying there to watch star awards.. but fell aslp in between e show cz xueli n lifeng wanted to come see mi. i told them dun nid cz i v tired. xueli ok w it but i duno lifeng is not with her.. n she is comin.. n she came at 10pm.. i was lke v v v slpy... so i toktokt till 10+ den she left n i rest.

wah.. type v long, stop here as part 1.. part 2 to b contid.. got to go eat..mil rushing...

take care folks~!

4more days...

2007-12-13T15:24:00.000+08:00

Ooo.. juz 4more days n i tink she is coming~! haha.. last nite gav mi scares mi q alot.. suddenly bad backpains which i nv encounter during my pregnancy.. then stomach pain... tok abt stomach pains, i made feng n tian so nervous when we at amk hub de mos burger. cz toktoktok den i say i pain, nid to go shit..in e end nth come out.. den within 30mins i pain again, n again nth comes out. they tot i wanna giv birth liao, haha.. but i tink to myself its laosai pain so nv take it to heart but oni feel uneasy. soon i chopchop go home, in case more pain comes.

worst is.. when i goin to bed at 1, backaches came.. wa... pain sia...duno isit cz i walked too much in e day den pain..hubby helped mi massage abit.. though it still pain but nvm, try to endure. den comes e stomach aches.. argh.. nvm endure again..but trying to keep track of e time.. in end.. all intervals r not regular.. so i noe its false alarm again..hai..

nvm, but i tink she comin out v soon le ba.. nv felt tt pain be4.. ok back to e 'events' i had yst. went to amk to get ready e cross stitches to do durin confinement. be4 tt i went to bank to settle some stuffs. in e end kena 'counsel' to get saving accounts n stuff..sian..but its still ok, starting to read up all these to plan for future liao, haha.. went to select e pics i wan, took q sometime.. mayb cz wanna do sth special for bb but found 1 tt i nid to sew e words. shop owners discussin e sex of my bb..haa.. e old auntie surprised when i told her its a gal. haha.. nvm i get used le. my galgal special ma.. sekali she is a tomboy..haha..faint~!

well, aft much travellin to amk central n my house, i finally get to meet sec sch frenz.. ah si..duckie..feng n tian.. all worried cz i givin birth v soon. scare i halfway wan to deliver how..haha.. esp feng, keep touchin my stomach, n even wanna put her ear on my stomach to hear..omg~! aft much discussion, we went to bubbletea shop for dinner.. tok some craps there too.. den ah si n duckie gt sth on n leave 1st.. e 3 of us go to amk hub for 2nd rd cz i mouth itchy, haha..

well nth much liao.. oni noe i walked alot n stomach pain.. juz asked jas n nick abt bb stuff.. hav to really stnadby now since i got e 'hints' last nite. hope these days she b out ba..

kk shall stop here to watch my movie.. take care folks~!

8 More days~! shd i hope bb is out now or wait?

2007-12-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

Argh~! baby is not coming out yet again... but gd news is, she is 2.5kg now~! yeah.. so happy.. at least she is heavier n heavier.. lighten my worries.. owas afraid she is too small. of cz i hope she can hit at least 2.8kg~!

cont'd frm my previous blog ba.. aft i woke up so early tt day.. i went steamboat with yw n wt tt evening, haha.. tot wt gonna b q late but surprisingly she reach earlier den yw, haha.. we walked ard awhile and headed to the shop. well, i still prefer the shop i owas go, haha.. mayb e ingredients n soup r nicer ba. but nvm, i went there last week, so this week i go another, hehe.. tml i dun even noe if i goin out with miss lee anot. cz its a sunday...normally my sunday is either go hubby ah ma house, if not go out with hubby frenz. so i duno if tml got ani progs.. n i dun like to go to crowded places esp i m goin to giv birth anytime..somemore its a sunday and its evening time at town~! so i duno lo..hai.. its not i dun wan to meet them..its juz tt e time e venue is not gd for mi...

sian.. knowing bb coming out soon, i hope, n yet i hope i dun stuck at home..but wat can i do.. dun even noe wat programs to do to kill my time. realli in dilemma everyday... now my doc not in town.. i dun even noe if i would wish bb to come out earlier anot.. cz it wun be my doctor to help mi deliver le.. but nvm, i shall take it naturally.. cant force.. now prob is.. i duno wat to name her.. Averil.. is e one i wanted but i had problems pronouncing it. esp e 'ril' part.. yw n wt told mi i get it wrong..my tougue short.. omg.. how??? hai

lastly.. nowadays see hubby looked pressured but yet i cant do anithing.. i duno how to start a tok w him to share his prbs but i noe i hav to do it sometime. tts how ppl maintain marriage.. hav to pour out feelings n problems tgt and share and to solve tgt. i oso hav probs.. but i owas kept in my heart. i noe he oso do tt. nono.. sth hav to change. n i hope i can take e first step soon. i mean v soon.. hhaa.. wish mi all the best ba, hehe

kk shall stop here, nid to go shower again.. duno y i like to shower alot aft i get pregnant. and esp when i goin to giv birth... maybe cz i noe i cant shower for 1mnth after baby is out~! wahaha..

take care folks~!

why am i up so early?

2007-12-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

abt my previous blog.. its a song i hear on radio yesterday n find it nice. i heard it be4 but duno y this time like it more.. maybe its sendimental when i m tinking of something??

haha.. duno la.. woke up aft a nitemare this morning.. again i m running for my life.. n a monster whcih looks like a green dragon is chasing aft mi in my amk house. and again i climbed out of the window and this time i went to rescue my mum and 4th sis. but actually aft i rescue my mum, i havent go over to rescue my sis and i m up. since young i owas hav dreams abt ppl/monsters goin aft my life in my house n i owas climb out of my window. i duno wat it mean too.

nvm abt tt, it juz tt i been sometime nv had nitemare.haha.. well well.. tok abt yesterday ba.. i went back vivo to see them. some askin y i come back when i on leave.. i too bored lioa ma.. doc says bb not coming this week so i go out lo. well.. oni abit of changes to vivo.. staffs still e same. lucky tt most of e senior full timers are ard to toktok. only stayed for 2 hrs cz they getting busy with their evening booking. n i doubt i b goin back there again. maybe after baby is out ba. lazy to travel so far.. cz i dun like to take train now. juz a phobia..owas tinking i get seat anot.haaha.. but i do feel gd aft visiting them.

back to home is so bored. i still duno y i feel a distance with hubby again though he been toking to mi like usual last nite. m i too sensitive? hai.. i muz try to get over it. maybe tinkin abt wat he said, he dun wan this life animore. i oso start tinking, do i really want my life to stuck in his room. rotting n rotting? no meanin at all.. even bb is out my life is still empty.. duno wat activities can spice up my life. hai..suan le..

back to now..so sian..duno wat to do for e day.. rotting again.. surprised to see wt n yw online so early n its their off day~ haha.. but been discussin to meet anot for abt an hr liao? so hungry now.. tot can meet for breakfast, ahha..but yw wans dinner..duno to go anot.. damn..i m gettin more n more lazy now n yet i wan to go out. Y~!!

hai..lets see how ba.. hope i hav progs later~!

别说爱我

2007-12-06T09:38:00.000+08:00

歌曲：别说爱我
歌手：容祖儿专辑：jump up 9492

我并没有
那翅膀
只有瘦瘦
的肩膀
他醉倒把泪擦干
关上门窗
天空那么高
我怎么构的到

你曾形容
的天堂
门牌却是
个问号
我闭上眼睡不着
也找不到
你知道快乐
对我有多重要

别说爱我
别再说你爱我
别说想我
因为耳朵是通往心底的
那些不会成真的
听了心痛

别说爱我
别再说你爱我
你没爱过
世上真话不够
梦境太多
如果你是善良的
你会放开手
让我经过

我并没有
离开过
却不停的
看你走
勉强握紧的永久
维持不了多久
我不要一个没灵魂的感动

别再说你爱我

别说想我
wo~
因为耳朵是通往心底的
那些不会成真的
听了心痛

False alarm

2007-12-04T17:23:00.000+08:00

Ar.. got a shock in e morning.. tot my baby is coming.. in the end is false alarm...diao..

I tot my doc told mi this week my baby wun be out, den i was abit scare when i had stomach pain at 6am today. wa.. abit pain..still can tahan..but its like i lie down or sit up, the pain is there.. and it last for 30mins? n i couldnt slp til 730 cz still got abit pain.. den i woke up at 815 cz pain again.. but this time is shorter. so i start to remember the time it occured. so if i realli goin to deliver, i shd have another pain in 1hr 45mins time or even shorter. but i waited n waited till 11am.. nth.. den i knew its a false alarm. heng i nv sms my hubby to get prepared, ahaahaa..

ppl says all these pain depends on individuals, so mayb to mi i can tahan to others they cant. so i realli have no idea how it feel like if its real. n i very seldom have menses cramp, so i duno how it feel like when they said its very pain. jas told mi when giving birth n having contraction, it feels like u wan to shit but cant shit out. haha.. gd comparison but i will remember..

ar.. spent another day rotting.. tml i shall pay a visit to vivo as agree with colleen yesterday since doc says this week bb wun b out. duno how long i will stay too cz i dun wan to b caught in human traffic later..hehe..

had my dinner at teresa's place last nite. i duno if i m sensitive. i juz feel tt the distance bet mi n hubby is still there.. maybe i m distracted by his nick he put aft he threw temper at mi. saying he was irritated n hate it and dun wan this life anymore. i duno wat he mean by 'it' n i dun wish to ask him abt it. tts his tots when he was reali angry tt time. but whenever i tink of tt, somemore i dun feel gd. even we had dinner at teresa place, we do tok abt tv progs..but i duno if its for show. cz when we walked up to our place, he dun tok to mi again. when he home, he went for shower n straight away go to slp. i noe he was tired so he slpt early. but we like nv tok at all. hai.. its not e 1st time we r lidat since we r tgt, but its not often. most imprtly, the 1st time he lidat after we r married. somehow i wish he is the person hu tok to mi nicenice every night when he was on board tt time..which is this yr april-may. tt time juz repatched and he was away..but we 2 v close, go back to e times we chatted on phone everynite. share all probs.. like how he did tt when he court mi. tts is why i agreed to marry him tt time too. i remembered i did ask him to consider very seriously abt marriage and he said he was very sure of his decision. i hope he remembered tt in his heart. and i hope he could be nice to mi again.. soon. dun wan to hav e feelin of being a unwed mum now.

sian.. tink the mre i stay at home the more i will tink. so i hope bb faster come out. at least i hav lesser time to worry abt all these. n to see if he is up to the role of being a father. owas so pleased to c him playing happily with kids but duno will it be the same or better towards his own baby. afterall its becz i see tt he like baby which attracts mi when i just know him. perhaps he had forgotten ba, but i remembered he was playing with a baby at long john silver who sat opp him. he duno e boy but yet play happily with him. this is e time where e impression of him changes and started to accept him.

k la.. shall stopped here.. watched spiderman 3 and the solomon brothers today.. tml shall be outing day for mi.. i off pc liao.. shall go rest on bed again.. take care folks~!

Oni 2.3kg~!

2007-12-03T17:04:00.000+08:00

Juz back from checkup.. quite worried when i noe my bb oni 2.3kg.. n mi myself oni gain 1kg within this 2weeks. omg.. y bb still so light.. i got eat liao lo..but hai.. n more surprising is.. dr ang now den tell mi tt he expected bb to b out these days~! nv giv mi xin li zhun bei.. but now tell mi bb will come later.. not in this week. so i can an xin plan my progs for e next few days. gonna go for checkup this sat again.. n my doctor will b on leave. so sad hor.. doctor wan to on leave n so hard to do so. today waited 1hr for my turn though i went 30mins earlier for my appt. while waiting, heard e nurses helped to make appt for e rest.. wa..tink they v stress too.. dr ang nid to go on leave, all appt hav to squeeze. now dr ang father is sick so he got to reschedule his leave. so ma fan hor.. hai..

well, back to my results, doc ask mi if i hav contractions liao, n i did.. 1 or 2 days once. juz now got abit again. now den i noe if bb squeeze into e centre of my stomach is consider contraction too, haha. omg..den lidat hor, it mean i owas hav it lo...cz bb owas squeeze one area. Oops..make mi more nervous...

duno y aft i went for checkup, i feel much more better. been feeling down for e past 2days due to some issues. now juz hope everything goes smoothly. be it issues abt bb or my hubby. i try to stay calm n cool n happy ba.. rite now oso hav to eat more... dun wan my bb to b so light when she is born. now i m realli prepared my bag to bring hosp liao.. room oso packed 77 88 liao...haha..

k la, i shall go shower liao.. cz later goin teresa place for dinner. realli hav to thank them too.. cz these days i noe they hav been tokin to hubby abt our issues.. tink now, i left with meeting up with huisi xueli and vivo team. other den tt i tink i can rest well n prepare my new life..haha.. kk take care folks~

17days to go~!

2007-11-30T10:21:00.000+08:00

OMG.. just 17days.. and all thx to my sun nu for reminding mi, otherwise i oso wun go n see the reading i have on top of my blog.. hahaa

basically, i hav pack my bag to bring to hosp liao, oni lack 1 or 2 stuffs which i gonna buy later if i find it. yst oso pack all the boxes liao, so everything consider ready le ba.. just nid to clean up the room and go amk to take somemore stuffs, so pray hard tt my baby is obedient enuff to let her mama finish everything den come out to this world. tink of cleaning the room, i felt so sian.. but no choice.. who will help mi if i dun do it myself.. i will never rely on my hubby to do. cz he oni noe how to mess the room and play games.

known to some, i m on my maternity leave liao~!! haha.. today is the 4th day..hehe.. so far still dun miss work cz i busy to prepare my things. abit fed up when my mum in law asked mi to work till i giv birth. and she told mi tt on my last day of work. so wats e pt? when all my leave are confirmed. i juz yin chou her by nodding my head. cz no one will understand how my job runs.. mine is not a office job whereas i can leave anitime i wan. every single chnages to our applied leave will affect each other. cant ask mi to work until my waterbag burst den i say sayonara to all and our roster got to change last min and everyone plans nid to adjust cz of mi.. of cz i cant do tt la.. but nvm, i m used of other ppl not understanding abt my job. even my family take some time to figure. hahaa.. cz watever i do since sec sch, they owas dun understand.

for example, i took up chinese dance since i was 10. den i owas attend classes, be it its sch activities or community centres, i owas busy with performances and my family forever duno y dancin take up so much of my time. so they everyday nag n nag until one day, when i was 17? i totally giv up dancing as i cant felt ani teamwork in my c.centre and i need to work so i cant comit animore. den they start asking, y i nv go for dance liao.. i was like... its u all who kp questioning me y i go dance n now i stopped, den u all ask mi y i quit. siao... maybe they start to noe more abt dance when they went for my performance. which is like..aft i danced for 6yrs den they 1st saw me performing? how 'supporting' if my family as u can see rite..

well well.. how hav i been spending my off days.. 1st day = watch enchanted at bishan with hubby n his frenz. average show.. mayb becz be4 e show i hav some conflicts w my hubby ba. but actually i oso heck care him. he oso tood. keep disturbing me when i m toking to a staff. so rude. so i juz reply him all ans in a rude way n show him my black face. i was aldy emotional unstable be4 meeting him due to some reasons den i more piss when he told mi now change to 5ppl watching when i go n get vip from ber n fion liao.. waste 1 tix.. but whenever he black face, he dun tok i oso dun disturb him. so his frenz all askin mi wat happened, i oni tell them briefly.. all of them noe his weird temper de la.. a big boy.

2nd day = meet up with kris n jen. we went to hav mala steamboat at bugis. finally i get to eat my mala.. tt time gathering with some colleagues we went there too but all of them choose to hav ckn soup as the base.. so this time i hav my mala, hahaa.. so hapi~! hehe.. we eat v slowly but we nv waste food. so we gossip gossip, den when we left, i met lilin. so zhun.. i juz sms her abt her new job n oso tryin to ask how is her family doin. den she is juz infront of mi, haha.. gdgd, so we chatted n update all news again.. aft tt we all went for desserts which is a few stalls away.. comments is.. soso lo.. not tt nice to eat.. but nvm.. we not fussy, n soon we went back liao.

3rd day= actually meeting up w huisi aft i put her birdie on tue. but i had backache when i woke up. duno isit becz i walked too long e nite be4 n i feel v tired.. so i tell her tt i cancel it again..so paiseh.. tue actually meetin her but my stupid hubby forget and ask mi to go movie. he forever nv listen to wat i said. sometimes i realli pissed off when i told him where i m goin e next day and he nv listen n still ask mi on e day itself. i so piss to repeat n repeat myself n he juz dun learn his lesson. his fren oso can rem tt i meeting fren on tue, tts y she puzzled y i can meet them for movie. again tt nite aft movie, i told him i meetin kris e next day, yet he askin mi where i go on e actual day. i duno if i m toking to a wall anot. tts y when i wan to find chance to hav a tok w him, i duno if ther is a need when he cant listen in to watever i say. all he noe is to play his new game 'seal'.

i aldy ren ming liao.. being married bt i felt like a single mum. everything do myself. being married juz to wear tt stupid ring on our fingers. tot i get married is to giv my bb a complete family. yes it is physically but i dun seems to receive ani extra care n concern from hubby. sometimes wonder if he noe i m pregnant n he gonna b a father anot. if he so heck care, den wat for so determine to giv mi all promises n firm to get married in e 1st place. but nvm, once decision is made, one shall not turn back n regret. since i chose it this way, i got to ans for all my action. juz pray he get better when bb is out. even his gd fren, a mother too, tell mi to take care of myself cz she noe my hubby type.. nv grow up. both of us are 'single mum' cz her hubby too busy w work and mine is dun care anithing. but at least her hubby cares n listen to her..haha..

well.. tink i goin back to slp.. duno y i juz woke up so early today.. 4+am once den 9+ now. duno isit a hint tt bb is coming, ahaha.. she kickin mi more often at nite liao... sometimes feel a little bit of pain too.. but nvm, shun qi zi ran..haha.. sekali this is my last post be4 i giv birth~! omg~!!!!

so excited~!

useless bum...when can he b out of my sight

2007-11-20T14:45:00.000+08:00

Arr... just fa xie to kris about this useless bum in my house.. but still v hot inside...
i duno y i cant slp last nite, so woke up at 3 to go pee.. hu noes when i stepped outside, saw his useless brother took out my bb new mattress, w e cover on, slpin on it in e living room. wa~! fed up.. realli wan to go over n kick him out of my bb bed..as if he cant slp on e sofa..go out whole day shd slp in his room ma.. wa lau.. slp outside.. on my bb bed n use phone oso nv put back n slp.. fei ren yi ge.

kris oso ask mi cool down..but aft i told her how his bro did all these while, tink she will understand y i dun wan my bb to have anithing to do w this useless bum.. i make sure he stay away from my baby.. juz hear tt he asking his mom to cook something for him cz he realli hungry.. wth rite? cant cook n find things to eat meh.. his mum busy preparing dinner n take care of kids n still have to entertain him? he realli treating his mum like his maid. but wat to do? his mum dote him so much.. i dun want to say anithing.

dun tok abt him liao..dun tink i wil tell my hubby abt it too..its either he says i too sensitive or he will make a fuss outside.. which will oni increase headache to his parents.

watched Beowulf with yali in e morning cz she pon sch..diao...tink staffs in gv like to pon sch alot..ahhaha.. hmm... movie soso.. storyline is lously.. had some burger be4 she send mi to my checkup.. lucky she is ard.. cz its raining.. at least someone keep mi companied for e day..
well.. as for my checkup, duno y this time waited so long.. abt 30mins to my turn though i turned up on time for my appt. finally bb is over 2kg..she is now 2.1kg.. i gained 1.5kg over 2weeks~! still hav at least 1 more kg for my bb to gain within 1 mnth time.. omg.. so stress.. had take small meals every 2hrs yesterday lo.. my stomach was like goin to burst liao.. but force myself to kp eating.. had some testing yesterday.. tink i had some infection but doc says it wun affect bb... n he test if my cervis open abit liao anot.. its pain when he testing it, make mi bleed abit lo.. but nth leh, cervis not open yet..so it heng ba.. bb not comin out so soon..haha..

wel..yesterday at least i hav things to do..but today like super bored.. nth to do.. cant go over amk to pack thigns too cz no one to help mi carry e big box out.. i cant select clothes to bring back..hai.. hubby nv offer help to go over take.. it suppose to b my family hu dislike him more den he dislike them lo... but my family owas treat him well... duno wat he tinkin la..

tokin to ah si abt him now.. i tink i try not to tok so much abt hubby.. it juz make mi feel tt he is doing nth for mi n our bb... though it is a fact he nv do much for us too... but i cant tell my family abt it.. so trapped...

bb kicking again.. tink i go rest abit 1st ba.. to kill time too.. later den continue cleaning e room... yesterday clean abit.. today leh................ i wanted to pack bb tings to e boxes we bought on sun but its not washed yet..tink his mum no time to wash too.. n i noe hubby wun wash one. so i tink i wash myself when they went back to their rooms or go out later ba....

ar... sian sian sian.. tml will b my last stretch of working days to my maternity leave.. duno if e gift card thingy will cock up anot.. lets pray hard~!!

Painful Oooo

2007-11-19T01:29:00.000+08:00

AR..... duno y she is kickin mi so badly now... cant stop frowning now... but i'm not bleeding, my waterbag nv bust.. i m not goin to deliver now, but y is she kickin mi so hard now~! can c my stomach keep moving non stop.. Goosh..cant even enjoy playing games peacefully now... i still got 1 more week to go be4 i finally on leave for my maternity.. so pls cooperate wit mi k..

nan dao she wans mi to lie on my bed e whole day? even i lie down she oso kick non stop... now i aldy in relaxing position when using pc liao.. 2nd chair we bought at ikea liao... this is much better den e previous one le.. but she still not happy ar?? feelin q full now but i m still wondering what to eat.. cz my bb is still v small.. oni 1.75kg 2weeks ago.. tml i shall noe how much she gain now. hopefully pass 2kg le.. if nt i m v worried y she so small.. n i oni left w 1 month to my due date.
i m aldy so stress over this matter... yesterday aft goin to his grandma place for her bday.. when his aunties noe bb oni 1.75, all kp asking me to eat n eat.. i oso noe.. i aldy try to eat more den usual meals... sometimes stomach full liao but i juz kp stuffing food to eat.. omg.. cant imagine how much weight i will gain within this month. but i have no choice. seeing the rate she kick mi so hard.. realli cant help worrying she be out much earlier but her weight is so light.. average bb is abt 3kg when born.. n i still hav 1+more kg to go.. my god... i aldy feeling pain at times when i walk ard.. esp the lower tummy.. have to hold my stomach when i walked... i oso cnat juz sit in e office c e cctv.. even if its quiet, i oso feel awkward to sit in office whole day. but now i tink i no choice liao.. more n more painful nowadays.. today teresa tot my feet start to swollen, scares mi xia... but actually dun have.. i aldy drink v little water at nite liao.. dun wan my feet to b like elephant feet... not to mention cramps.. but i m quite lucky.. till now oni 2cramps.. only the 1st time v pain, 2nd time still ok. but e after effect last abt 2-3days to wear off. frenz kp tellin mi their cramps v painful. some pain till grab hubby. my hubby juz say, even i cramp i oso wun grab him cz he owas in another room playing his MU. diao~!

wat if one day my bag bust n i too pain to go over n call him? hahaa.. duno wat to say him too. last time say wan to go japan w his relatives next yr, now say wan to have potluck this xmas.. but he owas kena scolded by teresa they all.. he like forget his bb is out liao by then. nan dao throw mi alone at home meh? i havent tell him my problems lo... today we solve abit by getting the boxes to put clothes liao. next 2days which r my off days, i shall tidy the room. sth tt i dun wan to do esp my movement is restricted now. no choice. i dun wan when i go deliver den when they shift my room, all r dust ard. not tt i nv clean e room but problem is... the rom get dust v fast n i duno y? we live in lvl 10 liao lo... oni 2-3days u can spot dust liao... how to clean??? nvm.. tml if his mum wash e boxes liao, i will store bb clothes. clean the tv conso.. pc desk.. his mum jz pass mi more bb things today.. i have yet to prepare my bag to bring to hospital when e time arrive.

xueli juz call mi n ask mi standby sms for my hubby to send them when i goin to hospital.. haha..v true.. i shall standby 2 for him. 1 to tell others i juz admit to hosp, 2nd is to tell others bb is born liao..hahaaa.. n oso a list of things to remind hubby wat to do when i go for delivering... i havent get afew more things for myself n bb but now i m too broke liao.. spent TOO much on food this month. esp there are q afew outing with colleagues this time. aldy over 100 bucks liao.. i haven buy camera for bb too.. o goosh... payday faster come. aft i left for my maternity leave n maybe e outing with xueli they al, i realli stay at home dun go out liao..

hmmm..lastly.. abt my bb name.. tot of calling her Averil Pang Rui Xin. but i owas scare i pronounce Averil wrongly.. so cant confirm using tt but i like it.. cz not much ppl use tt..haha.. n its not girlish... as for chinese name.. i tink i got to give up. hubby juz told mi tt because he is e eldest son.. eldest grandson in the family line (frm his grandma to his father den to hubby) so names are decided by his family.. cz the middle name have to b the same for the next generation. u believe tt?~! craps... y his family so superstitious? wedding stuff aldy make tings so troublesome till my family cant stand liao.. den soon abt shifting of my tv conso..even i not at home oso cant shift. now even names oso i cant decide. y this family lidat.. if can, my kids wun nid to follow all these rules. now dun nid to worry abt chinese name. when bb born den give them calculate lo... dun giv mi awful name can liao.. if giv her awful name, i sure make noise liao. afterall she is my bb, i m her mother, i m the closest kin to her, not them.

kk, shall stop here.. see if i can find food to eat more.. n she is starting to kick mi hard again.. ar..pain~! cant imagine how i gonna tahan e pain when i give birth.. v worried abt the pain i nid to go thru.. n still duno if i will take epidural anot.. all askin mi not to take due to e side effect when i grow old. but when i tink of the pain..omg.. ppl ard mi like all taking... hope i can take the pain.. got to stop now~! ARR...

'Gracious' Singaporeans

2007-11-09T01:48:00.000+08:00

Tired~!
So long nv been so busy at outlet. Mayb cz i just come to work on time den go up europa to help straight away. i was sweating a little aft e crowd die... n i oni pop 2-3times popcorn, cook hotdogs n take drinks n top up cups/lids nia n i sweat?! lously mi, hahaa..

soon, went to box to help. actually i oni wan to pass e box notice to someone to put up for patrons to see tt we r full house. in e end saw bking q super long, suan le, i shall open e last ctr to help out cz i m trying to maintain cool, tok too loud n much will disturb my bb ma. in e end, i help to clear q n take over hy n fizah for them to hav breaks. tot everything is q ok, except feelin gulity to let a mother get scolded by an ang mo as he tot she cut q n took much of his time. tried explaining to him when he is queuing. luckily e mother is gd tempered n e ang mo is ok. tot i hav a nice smoothin time den this stupid family of 4 came. e 2 sons were tokin to their parents (with their head facing mi) as if they were at construction site. super loud. make mi so irritated esp e parents cant decide wat movie to watch. told them all v pack n tell them take evening sessions, still there tkain their own time with their sons toking so loud. i have to shout louder den e kids n buai tahan. i juz tell off e father by sayin ' so what movie u wan now and can u ask ur son not to tok so loud?' tok till i so fed up n out of breath.

lucky aft this grp, fizah is back frm break. i finally can go rest esp aft i used so much breath to tok so loud. bb kickin mi non stop aft tt. tink she is protesting tt i disturbing her. in e end i rest in office for more den an hr as she still kicking v hard.
tts not e worst. i m hungry liao. i oni had some porridge at 1pm n its 5pm den. so hungry.. tot can start ordering food with ling. but too bad, yl aldy tabao beef noodles for they 2, miss out mine. but nvm, i dun like beef too. so i waited for crowd to die n find ppl buy cz ling discourage mi to go up n buy myself as its muz b v crowded. den i waited n waited till 730pm. i was aldy havin slight gastric liao. couldnt find anione free to buy for mi. realli piss inside. i noe i cant tahan till i reach wdlands den hav my dinner. bo bian, die die force sun zi to buy for mi. otherwise i duno i will juz walk off to buy maggi or go up buy myself. wan to hungry till cry liao.. bb kickin like mad inside, make mi feel so uncomfortable.

tink my mood getting worst again. been having bad tots every now n den. keep tinkin i get tripped in train or other place. being bump by others. etc etc. juz bad things tt will hurt my bb. den kp thinking my future, as in bb. so headache n worried. hubby still playin games though he did show concern sometimes. but i juz feel tt its not enuf. owas feel tt i m alone handling my bb n my issues.

forget abt it. lets tok abt e topic. today i met gd ppl. to n fro vivo n my place, all got ppl stand up to giv mi seats. but not yesterday. i have to stand from woodlands till like bishan? den a malay lady ask mi to sit. pls dun tink she is so kind. she board e train at woodlands w mi, she long time had a seat n can even walk here n there to tok to her auntie? tink she realise tt i been standin so long n havent get down den ask mi sit. tot i can finally rest my legs as i m irritated by e teenage gal standing beside mi. bag so big n juz dun wan to stand properly. kp standing in those pose tt she tink its cool. duno how worried m i tt she might juz lose her balance n hit mi esp e train is packed. she stepped on my shoes, of cz my toe pain la, she said sorry bt i diao her. cz she juz dun wan to hold on to a pole n i kp lookin at her fren to hint her tt i cant stnad her.

nvm, i sit down liao.. tot i can rest till dhoby ghaut. who noes at toa payoh, which means i oni sit for 2stops. an old lady came in. sway sway she stand infront of mi, holding to e pole beside my seat. i was like... y this time.. y in front of mi. e lady hu giv seat to mi oso juz had an extra seat tt she took it aft i sit down. but she busy tokin to her fren beside her. den e old lady juz stand there. she nv look at mi or hint mi but i felt so uncomfortable n was realli hoping e lady giv up her seat for her. but nv. suan le. i stood up offer my seat to e old lady. see her oso cant balance well. den i went back to stand at e original spot. btw, i forget to mention tt in my cabin, e ppl hu r seating r all young ppl/adults. not much elderly ppl.

OMG~! singaporeans r tt gracious. a 8+months pregnant woman have to giv seat to an elderly woman becz she standin infront of mi or bcz e rest are blind?! how shameful i felt to b a part of this so call gd country. sometimes juz hate to take train bcz i hate to c these ppl. yes, there r ppl givin mi seats but tts nt all e time. most of e time i try to fight for my own or if i hav time, i purposely go to raffles place to take e empty train. cz i hate to force myself to stand in e middle n wait for ppl to stand up n giv mi seat. heard from elaine tt she had to ask ppl to giv up their seat herself. my god.. juz hate to take train..but no choice.. take cab too ex.. hubby no car on his own. he oso not like his fren hu is so totful. i still hav to tabao food for hubby. tidy room for him. iron clothes for him.

ARggg...... sian~! y smrt not innovative like other countries? y cant they design a cabin juz for pregnant woman or elderly ppl? mayb juz e 1st cabin specially for this grp of ppl. den if got ppl misuse e cabin, we can chase them off. so hard meh... kp askin ppl to giv more bb but yet e ppl r not friendly towards pregnant woman.. dun even noe if they remember they r once pregnant be4 or their parents got teach them anot. or do they hav a mother anot?

sian sian sian......nvm.. juz less den 13days of work n i shall take lesser trains...
ar.....goin to slp liao.. bb kp kickin v pain... more n more frequent these days.. so scare she come out much much earlier.no pls... i hope she come out when she is at least 3kg~ i still hav 1.25kg to go~!!!

counting down again

2007-11-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

Juz had my monthly checkup w my gynae. now its no longer 1mnth o..it will become 2 weeks instead.. which mean my dd is drawing closer n closer~! my god.. nervous or fear as i mentioned in my previous blog entry?

i finally opened my mouth to ask mum in law to wash bb clothes for mi. den started to talk abit abt bb too. aft tellin her wat i nid n wat we intend to buy, she told mi this n tt dun nid to buy de.. so in fact, its like i hav nth to buy. n i hope tings r realli r simple when e bb is out. so now i juz left my own stuffs to buy? i hope so, tts wat she says. even told mi not to store my milk in e fridge. i was like huh? den wat if i no milk n bb wans to drink if i cant store them in e fridge to standby? hmm... i hav no idea le o...

i guessed i hav to open my mouth more n more now... if not i will b miserable at home alone with her...
n she aldy prepared some stuff for mi liao.. saw all e new 'gloves' n 'socks' hanging at e window..alll pink~! doc oso say its a gal. but oni can very confirm when bb is born~ n i tink i shd jz ignore e dreams i had n admit its a gal.

hubby finally go to my place for lunch..though its oni an hr, nevertheless, its better den nth. i guess its allan n teresa hu r there tellin him to go. if not they oso wun ask mi last nite. i noe hubby is bored at my place n so do i when i go over his ah ma place. last nite they celebrating er gu bday. see others so busy preparing when e food comes bt i cant do anithing. so many ppl helpin, mi w big stomach, so i tink i better stay out of it. hai.. among e 2 xi fu they hav, i m owas e one hu is v quiet. i m not like hazel, owas so involved w them. mayb i not used to mixed ard with aunties ba..hahaa

lastly, i finally done w my last 2 mid nite shift. now oni left 2 more reg nite shift next sun n mon n tts it. day n mid shifts here i come. hope i can get used to it. i simply hate to squeeze train. mayb too long nv do day shift, now i not used to purposely stand in e middle to let ppl giv mi seat. i juz hide at e door. n stand for 15stops straight. hahaa...
but nvm, tink i get more chances to go work tgt w my hubby, so he will help mi secure a seat den. hehe..

last nite teresa they all tokin abt monthly checkup. she said she forced her huby to go every vivist with her. cz she dislike e feelin to b alone while waiting for her turn. cz she said she feel like single mom when she see other ppl w their hubby. actually i oso felt lidat on my visits. i owas see ppl w their hubby while i m alone. depressing but i m used to it. he nv like to wait. n my visit is v fast. when i m on time for my appt, i owas been called up within 15mins. n my visit oni less den 10mins. so no pt askin him to b w mi. lucky him. haaha.. if my gynar in kk or sgh, haha...den tings might b diff lo..

k la.. watchin my 'heroes' again.. not bad.. but got 1 epi q scary.. seein ppl wiith their skull open, brain r remove. eew... but still ok, mayb i watched too much csi..

k la... take care folks~

Nervous, excited or fear?

2007-11-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

aRgh... another fren of mine jz gave birth. 11days earlier den her edd. (estimated delivery date)
in a couple of weeks later, its elynn's turn, den either my turn or jasmine turn..
OMG.. so fast.. cant imagine e ball ball i carrying for q sometime is coming out so soon.
other mama to b r excited to 'get rid' of e ball ball asap but for mi, i'm not sure..
felt tt there r many tings not prepared yet, though i oni left abit to buy. perhaps my mentality is not ready to b a mama yet. whenever i see my hubby so relax n do nth but playing games at home, i felt stress. i noe i couldnt ask him not to play cz he b doin nth if he dun play. but somehow felt tt he nv realli sit down n discuss bb future n stuff with mi at all.

dun take my irregular shift as an excuse cz i had my long off last week liao. i juz felt lost when no one is discussin wat i shd do or prepare. bb name havent confirm n my hubby is not helpin to tink at all. everythin anithing or pass to his parents to decide. bb bed n boxes duno when he goin to buy e teresa they all. he jz say tings not ready yet so dun buy 1st. but wat else to wait? i still worried abt e pain i got to go thru during e labour. so scary.. hesitating if i shd take e injection if i reali cant stand e pain anot.. so ex.. n will hav side effects. not much pl tt i noe do not take tt. wondering i can tahan anot. or even, is my hubby goin to b by my side when i screamin for help anot.

ar..... change topic..

i tink i spent too much yesterday.. buy my nursing stuffs and outing, spent abt $150++ liao.. heartpain. tink i not joinin outing till i giv birth. duno y aft my long off, i felt tired n slpy easily. frm 11pm onwards i long to go home. last nite too. tot of goin kbox aft dessert which end at 930. bt not all wanted it so we went to a pub. of cz i had my orange juice nia. but i was bored to death liao. all tokin abt e drinkin trips tt i missed due to my pregnancy. n oso tokin abt e upcoming drinkin trips. or some tokin abt their holiday trips.. i hav nth much to tok too. cz all i m not involve n i cant join them. i was there juz listenin their topics, staring into air. no one realli observe tt i v tired n wanted to go back. even when there r times tt we r so silence oso no ppl voice to go back.

in e end all went back at 1230 cz lights r off. i m too tired n wanted to rest alone in e cab till i told them i takin cab alone. duno i seems unfriendly anot but i heck care. cz i m aldy v sian inside.

this sun tink i goin back amk. realli hope hubby rem tt he promised to go back w mi this time. he said tt last week when i threw temper at him. so long nv hang up his phone when he called mi. tink i hang abt more den 5calls from him. he oso nv mention anithing abt it abt tt despit i sms him my unhappiness.

i had several weird dreams last nite. dreamt abt bb again. abt hubby abt mother in law. all weird weird. even had nite mare abt crows again e nite be4. duno isit cz e fear within mi is acting up.
felt tt distance bet mi n hubby drifting apart as we seldom tok at home.. felt so lost at work too. getting more n more lazy at work. started to countdown e days i hav at vivo liao....

life is so bored...... oni can sayang my bb whenever she kicks mi. nvm, monday i shall see her again.. thru e scan... tts e oni day i look forward every month.

aRRr..

2007-10-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

tink i gettin more n more frustrated with frenz ard mi.
y everyone tink tt workin in gv is only hav 1 role to do?
which is, selling tix.
duh~! workin in cinema doesnt mean they oni have 1 position, which is sit there to sell tix oni lo..
den no one run the operation meh? no ppl clear hall no one play e movie no ppl sell food meh?

all those hi bye frenz i hav all tink i m just there sellin tix when i said i workin in gv.
i oso lazy to explain wat is my job abt... since they dun bother to ask in detail den i dun bother to explain. just let them tink i m there to sell tix at counter nia ba.

sometimes they juz irritate u so much tt i juz reply them in a rude way. some even ask mi, y i owas go vivo but u owas not at counter sellin tix, u sure u workin in gv vivo?

Arr... some patrons oso 'cute'. aiyo, u work in cinema sure got alot of free shows to watch hor? wat is nice huh?
omg.. everyweek for all the movie titles i see in e system. i oni watched 1 or 2? e rest i read from movie syopnsis.

when can ppl stop being so naive n tink further?! Arr~!

Insonmia

2007-10-23T05:08:00.000+08:00

my god.. its 5am n i still dun feel slpy at all.
i did not take ani aftnn nap too.. y still cant slp???
hubby slpt early today, at 2+am n he is down. by rite i shd b slpin too..but i tossed here n thre till 3+ n i giv up.. on pc again.. play some facebook games.. chat abit with sec sch.. n now i still writing blog again.. dun feel slpy at all..

my god... am i tinkin too much in my head? tink n worry abt tings tt i need to sort out be4 bb is out.. duno y tend to cry easily now. but of cz not infrnt of hubby but when i alone or he aslp. is it chan qian you yu zheng? not ba... i dun hav ani signs or nian tou tt i wan to end my life.. i dun torture myself. i still eat, though not much. i still slp but sometimes juz cant slp. tts it.. nth.. i still put on hapi face to work. oni tt i become v quiet at home.

had my dinner, or shd i say, my 1st proper meal of e day at 9pm. oni had some ice cream, oakmeal, bread for e whole day be4 tt. i m lazy to go down buy e same old food. tot hubby said we go out hav dinner since mama not cookin. but aft he was home at 7pm, his butt is stuck in front of pc again. i not tt super hungry so i waited for him to move. i noe he meeting alan they all tonite, so i tot its ard 10pm.. so juz as i took some chocolate n bread n started eating in e room. hubby ask mi y m i eatin when we r now goin down to meet them? n its 830pm. i looked at him, but i still continue to put my bread into my mouth. i told him off. i said u oni ask mi if i hungry liao n ttts it. since when u told mi to get ready down as they r at downstairs liao? still ask mi to put e bread into fridge, later den eat.
my god.. in e past, i can tahan till dun eat at all. now even when i dun feel like eating at all cz i no mood. i will still squeeze food into my mouth, juz for my bb. now u nv tell mi anithing but stop mi from eating?? i juz looked back at him n tell him i eat finish den change. cz its not my fault to take food to eat as he did not tell mi anithing be4hand.

fine, went down to sembawang 1036 for dinner again. duno y i hav nth to tok at all tonite. in fact i seldom tok when i go out with them. i noe they care abt us n they r fun but i hav no topic to tok to them. they owas tokin abt hp, cars etc. i noe nuts.. hubby busy playin hp game. i busy staring into e air?? n oso clearing my hp inbox.

on e way back, alan they all tokin abt having steamboat at their house this sun since i oso off. alan's wife, theresa oso tell mi tt if i wan ppl to acc to go ikea c bb tings she can acc mi. i m glad she offer but i purposely tell her tt i havent even settle bb stuffs, how to see tings to buy. tellin her my bb bed havent settle. tink hubby told her liao, she told mi tt my mom in law dun allow us to shift tings when i pregnant. i tell her, i nv heard of such strict rules. i oni heard at most i dun b at home ok liao. she oso giv mi e wu nai face. bt she told mi tt i will c tings arrange nicely aft i giv birth n back home. i tell her straight tt i wan to deco bb bed n stuff 1st.

upon meetin them, i realli wan to malu my hubby by tellin them how much he did all these while n wat rubbish myths his parents giv. i m piss off by the myth. thru out my 3 sisters pregnancy, its known tt we cant shift tings when e mama to be is ard, but where got even not ard oso cant shift?! den hw? everytin to b done oni aft bb is out? when bb out i aldy will b busy takin care of him, where got time to arrange, n let alone to deco for my precious bb??

weddin stuffs we listen to them cz they helpin us w e cost. now bb ting we r paying for ourselves, they dun nid to pay for us. y muz i listen to them?! sometiems i realli wan to move back my place n take care my bb with my mom. i doubt my hubby hav tink of ani name for our bb. i list out some eng names, he din say anithign. chinese names? he say leave it to their parents. yes i noe i will giv them for fortune teller but i m NOT goin to let them name my bb. duno hu r e real parents of e bb, y muz i let them decide everyting? i aldy piss off w e weddin plans they made for us tt time. my dinner oni can invite 3tables, n 3tables r shared amond mi n hubby. den his parents leh??22 tables r his parents de lo. invite his father colleague for wat? invite his father old sch mates for wat? his 2nd weddin or his son weddin? invite those ah pek whom i dun even noe hu is hu. dun even noe hu weddin r we attending. invite all these useless n unknown ppl to my wedding for wat? in e end i oni hav to accept everyting, cant invite many of my frenz. many ppl oni noe abt i m married much later. no face to ans y i nv invite some close ones.

shd hav took another option tt time instead of gettin married.

juz becz i wan to giv a family for my bb den i get married. damn..its juz makin myself living so unhappy now n so uncomfortable. now tings become like i hv no one to turn to. cz e one hu is supposed to b there for mi, did ask mi to share prob but he seems doin nth but playing games n sometimes raise his voice at mi when i wanted to share my opinion. in this new family, i oni hav my bb with mi. e rest? i cant wait to move to my own house which i wan to get in a few yrs time.

i still hav 4more off days to go. omg. wat can i do to kill my time? i wanted to take tings from my sis n start packing. but how to pack when e parents tell us some stupid myths? expect mi to throw everyting on e floor for them to pack when i lying in e hosp? how i wish i can complain all these to my family. but i noe i cant. if i said, they will worried for mi.

damn damn damn.. ppl says i did gd deeds to help mi to hav such a smooth pregnancy time compared to other mama to b. i dun vomit. i dun hav cramps, i dun hav swollen legs, i dun hav super fat figure, my face did not breakdown. but i do not hav gd life in my new family.
realli hope my bb dun hav such a rough hands like mi. rough hands = tough life. it doesnt pay off to b someone with gd temper. in this world, tings r owas unfair.

ar...still nt slpy yet. m still havin alot of gas in my stomach. keep fartin now. dun laugh o.. fart w/o smell. haha.. pregnant woman tink to hav alot of gas inside. n + i hav too much angry n unhappy gas inside tt i nid to release. ar.......i hav to slp~!! oni left 5hrs to slp be4 work~!!!!

B O R E D

2007-10-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

ar....this is oni my 1st off day for this week.. i still have 4more to go fron thur onwards.. omg..how m i goin to spend my time?? if i hav all my bb stuff at home, of cz i got ting to so but too bad... bed is not ready yet.. bb cabinet is not ready yet.. n i oni left w less den 2mnths to do all these..

had a little arguement with hubby as i wanted to shift furniture of our room, so tt i can place bb bed in our small small room. realli dun feel like putting my bb in another room which i noe i cant slp well in esp aft i juz giv birth. duno hubby understnad e difficulties i will face if i slp there anot..

broke down tt nite when he happened to come home at e 'rite' time. tellin mi not to hide anithing inside but to share w him. now he noe i m worried e space, but he seems not to do anithing abt it.. i waited for a few days later den i ask again abt e space. in e end he angry again.. said he get scolded from papa cz he said we cant shift furniture when my stomach is so big. but i nv heard be4.. oni noe i cant b home when they shiftin tings but nv heard be4 we cant shift tings even when i not at home. sian......den muz i wait till bb is born den can shift? den how can i decorate bb bed when i m in hosp tt time? how can i hang bb toys n place them in e bed..
i still hav lots of bb clothes tt i havent bring home. but no place. how can i dun worried abt all these... how can we do all these aft bb is born oni? does my hubby feel worried abt it as well? to mi, he juz sittin infront of pc playin games everyday. askin mi to share my tots w him but yet he get fed up when i mentioned tings i worried abt. so shd i still share my probs w him?

ppl says mama to b hav to b cheerful bt i dun feel like one. smetimes q irritated when bb kick non stop till i cant slp well no matter on bed or in train. but i noe this is sth tt not everyone can hav it. n i shd cherish it. so i noe can keep sayang'ing my bb when my stomach gets out of shape. now i start to fear to giv birth. scare tt he not ard when i nid him. scare of e pain.. scare of being a mama when i stay in somewhere tt i still dun feel comfortable in aft 2+yrs. juz miss my own family so much. at least they r e ones owas askin mi how m i copin..givin mi advise n items tt i need. whenever i meet them up, i feel so warmth. dun bear to leave them when i noe its time to do so.

sian... dun tok abt bb liao.. tink i clarify w my parents abt e furniture tings 1st.. sometimes really feel so uncomfortable w e weird customs his parents say.

tok abt work? omg.. even more boring.. sch holi coming liao.. but i oni b workin ten days when tt happen n i will b away for 3mnths.. now can start counting down e days tt i will stil b workin at vivo.. seein ppl ard mi startin to giv birth, it juz makes mi more nervous. 1 fren juz gav birth last week but now she is facin some prob w breast feeding.. now still got 3more frenz to go, 2 in nov n 1 in dec. den my turn.. its like so fast. i cant stop tinkin of e procedure tt i will b in when i m in hosp. can i cope w bb? can i get along w mum in law? hai.....

tink i m escapin at work too. sometimes juz nice i was not ard when got complain comes in. sometimes i not e one replyin walkie.. so juz nice i dun nid to handle them. but it make mi feel not to handle ani more complaints.. duno will affect bb anot.. owas let patron scold.. scold mi = scold my bb.. now i been tryin to do mroe gd tings, haha.. but i will still continue to disturb staffs. hahaa.. i owas handlin lost n found items but when it happened to mi, i duno wat to do, haha. i was in e cab w hubby to go ah ma house, den we heard a ringtone but not from us. i tot its drivre one so i nv bother abt it. but when i was e last one to alight. i felt sth dropped. saw it was a hp. den i realised its a phone. i stone thre.. duno to do wat. but i juz pass e hp to driver, sayin its left behind by previous passenger. DIAO~! n i still rem my hubby lost his 1st o2 phone in a cab too. y i so honest? tink e driver oso will keep it too. hai.. but nvm, at least i returned it to e driver. i wun feel gulity or bad. haha..

k la.. wrote so long again...still watchin gong zhu xiao mei.. bored to death. mom in law not at home. house v quiet. someting i like too, haha... no prog for later.. stone stone stone..ar~!!

LiFe....

2007-10-12T14:11:00.000+08:00

Life...

Y is it so unpredicatble?? Sometimes just a wrong step, n u hav to accept ur mistake n move on with e step u took... While some cant even choose their own life..cz fate hav decided for them.

2days ago, i received a shocking news.. but still, i hav to do my work n leave e tinkin to b done when i m home. one of my fish n co colleague diagnosed with liver cancer..somemore its last stage. hmm.. this fren of mine, used to b my gd fren n enemy be4.. gd fren as in to work hard for company be4, go drinkin, pool n supper. enemy as in he did tok bad behind mi, which caused us cold war for quite sometime. but aft sometime, we somehow back to frenz again..but not tt close animore.

but i like his personality. he is forever cheerful, le guan.. whenever he see his frenz, no matter gd or juz normal fren on street or work, he will greet them wholeheartedly.. but bad ting is, once he fall in love, he will b madly in love.. n occupy her alot.

but den.. such a cheerful person is diagnosed with such a illness.. furthermore he oni 23 this yr.
tink this is e 1st time tt one of my fren get cancer. other den tt e closest one will b my father.. duno y my life nid to go thru much more up n down compared to others.. so envy others living so happily with no worries.. y i have to plan more further den others?

eg, i tot i noe v little abt delivering, pregnancy stuffs cz i owas ask ard for advise. but when i happened to chat with one of my sec sch fren abt his sis-in-law. i realised tt they all havent prepared tings for e baby n e baby is comin within a month time. oni when i told her wat to do den she start preparing.. but on e other side, i tot i can plan things according for my baby, my sis shoot mi back.. tellin mi wat i havent do n nid to do now.. make mi feel tt i m not ready at all.

mayb its e environment tt matters ba... since young i mixed ard with ppl hu r much older den mi. my youngest sis is older den mi 6yrs liao.. since young learnt to b independent cz family owas not at home, so i owas alone at home, lookin for my own activity to fill up my time. even go to sec sch liao, i found myself cant click v well with many frenz.. cz i owas wonder y they play until lidat.. y cant they grow up abit etc... even go poly oso tink lidat. even i go to my 1st job, i oso mixed better with e mgment... eh eh.. i dun mean i po them hor.. its cz i owas ask him y things r lidat, how to manage tings, how to handle ppl.. cz i dun wan my job juz to earn money n serve ppl, i wan to learn more tings tt r not within my job area. thus i learn many of their life stories n exp from them.

i tink tts is y ppl start to mistook mi as a older person compared to my actual age. duno its gd or bad. but sometimes i realli wan to b someone to b pampered.. but too bad,... now my hubby is somenoe hu duno how to pamper ppl.. diao~

tok abt my hubby. sian.....tonite i m goin to visit my mama.. tot i m v eexcited..bt when my sis askin y hubby nv tag along i m sian halfway.. cz i noe he wun come but i oso noe my sis oso wanted him to acc mi....i cant make everyone happy.. trapped again... duno when will my hubby willing to go with mi.. oni noe how to drag mi to his grandma house but not acc mi to my plce.... ar.....

k la.. tok long liao.. nid to prepare to go punggol..

take care folks~

Counting down my days

2007-10-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ooo.. i'm 7mnths pregnant liao... so fast.. juz 2 more months and i can see and touch my baby~!

though i m excited, i seems to b more worried den tt. quite afraid of the delivering part..

realli hope hubby is beside mi when i go hosp... cz a couple of days ago, i asked if he will b with mi anot.. he giv mi an ans tt turn mi off... he said wat if he is workin tt time? DIAO~!

hai.. canot take urgent leave meh... where got wife goin to labour n hubby not ard... hope he can rush down with mi..hope he is e one hu cut our bb qi dai too..hehe..

my recent checkup with my gynae, he oso tell mi it'll b very pain.. den hear abit from here n there.. nan mian will feel scare.. now oni can kp askin jas wat to do during tt time.. maybe get more info from my mama n my 3rd sis when i meet them up on this comin fri.

tokin abt fri.. i'm rather excited.. can see my mama again.. n oso my 4th sis.. i tink i very long nv see my 4th sis too.. aft my weddin till now, i tink its oni 1 or 2 times.. though she owas there to nag n scold mi since young, i noe she meant well.. i wun forget how she helped n guided mi during my wedding too.. true, its oni durin e preparation of my weddin den i realised how much my family meant to me.. though there r arguements but i really appreciate their help.

hmm.. so long nv write blog..abit forget wat i wanna write too.. hmm hmmm hmmm... so bored now... y my life so bored now.. oni can countdown e days till i take leave. but yet i m scare to giv birth.. now thanks to sun nu i get to see my po jian er chu on tudou webbie... all along wanna watch e drama but due to my job i had skipped alot of it.. tink oni watched 2-3 epi.. seldom had mediacorp drama tt caught my attention.. this yr i tink oni this n e bao jia wei guo. tink i still like those police or action dramas.. those family shows r irritating at times.. it juz spoil one mood with all e shouting n unreasonable quarreling..

hmm.. tink i shall stop here le.. nth to write at e moment.. there r tings tt happened durin e weekend.. make mi feel tt sometimes we realli cant trust someone 100% cz u nv noe wats in his/her mind.. abit disappointed but well, its juz part of life.. u may stop to wonder y ppl do things in their way and thinkin y r them so foolish.. but dun say them too, cz i m one of e foolish person too but not in e same situation as them..haha

watch my drama liao~! hubby finally leave his workplace..hope we can eat at dinnin room this time.. sian of bringin e food into e room as he is playin games.. hope he stop e game when bb is born~!

wHeN cAn My oFF dAyS bE MeAniNgFuL?

2007-09-29T23:52:00.000+08:00

omg.. 2 off days wasted again..somemore its a precious one.. fri n sat off leh.. some ppl wan oso dun hav.. i oso q long nv have these 2 days off... but den.. it was spent rotting at home.
fri.. slp till 3pm.. actually meetin yw but den i duno y i feel so sian to travel far..so in e end i go yishun watch nanny diaries alone while waiting for hubby finish work.

a new management trainee served mi at box. he saw my card but duno how to use. so he called sally along.. tink he oso surprised when sally greeted mi. he tot i m a ex ce.. haha.. tink i duno wat they say in dialect meh? hahaha.. den sally told him tt i from vivo..
hmm.. usher is v friendly.. come to cbar.. my god, tink oso a new staff. tell him i wan nacho n milo he like blur blur.. when i enter hall den noe he giv mi coffee..sth tt i shdnt drink. but forget it.. long time nv drink too, mi alone too, so no one stop mi, hahaaha...

again.. meet hubby at causeway n tabao food home. again... i started to rot at home.. i mean my room e whole nite. watching e boring tv prog while hubby played war craft. waited for him till 4am den he suggst to watch dvd. den waited till 5am den he finally log off n watch. but he watched less den 30mins n fell aslp. mi too at 6

tot hubby n i agreed on thur to go shop at town area today.. in e end we landed havin swensens at causeway pt.. omg omg omg omg~!
kill mi man.. duno how much unhappiness i felt inside.. i so sicked of causeway pt, nt mention tt i m bored to death at home. aft marriage i duno y hubby's vcd player is gone. i hav nth in e room to kill my boredom..... i wan to buy a new on if not i will go crazy. tink i cant meet my target for e money i wan to save this mnth. we aldy spent more den wat i hav planned.

this mrn my bb freak mi out. suddenly i wake up n feel tt my stomach becomes so squarish. not e usual round shape o.. can feel q edge somemore.. so scare bb move herself in my stomach till she get stuck in some position. den wat if she get stuck n cant breathe how? make mi panic n keep shaking my stomach till it become round. reali scares mi.. hope nth happen to her..

tok abt bb.. as my delivery date is approaching closer n closer, i feel scare.. duno wat happen when i go labour.. how i gonna take care of her.. how i gonna educate her.. how i teach her till she not like other kids on street. sometimes u juz dun understnad how parents take their kids into hands when they so naughty in public.

ar....sian sian sian.. realli feel tt life is so boring now. i miss dancing aft saw some scenes of first emperor due to tt stupid patron. miss goin out... workin is so bored now... miss lee goin bangkok soon... 7days wun see her... aft she back, another batch goin taiwan.. my god.. life will b so bored... there is nth to do at all... oni sit in office n handle patrons if there is a need. cant go cbar cz scare i fell.. cz go box cz i sit there will block way... go floor?? do nth... den where can i go.. feel so useless n lazy. back at home even more sian. lockin myself in e room everyday...
dun wan to step out cz mother in law owas raising her voice at bb, his sis or his bro.. n i hate ppl raising voice honestly. it juz pisss mi off but i choose to kp quiet. sometimes e voices juz wake mi up in e mornin when i did nite shifts. cz my door will auto open if hubby nv close it tight. n mother in law face forever black.. even my mum owas ask mi if her face realli forever black.

tt time vist my mum during my off day, i miss her greatly.. now whenever tink of her i feel like crying.. owas feel like goin back to her.. wondering y i dun feel tt way when i m still single. she knows wat i like or dislike to eat.. even when both of us sit besides each other watching tv, we nv tok, but i still enjoyed e times.. juz dun feel like leaving e house but i nid to. i noe she is bored too. everyday stayed at home lookin aft a baby. she oso sian...esp it makes her backache.
3rd sis got so many prob to handle.. i cant help her at all.. yet she still rem to pass mi her clothes to wear.. nvm know she is so helpful n totful till i get pregnant. cz she owas seems heck care abt things. y i started to cherish my family more aft i get married.. even though i aldy seldom go home be4 marriage.. mayb cz i still belong to them but now status is diff?? hai..

tink i wrote too long.. hubby shd b home soon... realli hope he do his minutes n not playin warcraft so logn again. realli duno y he liek it so much...

ar....BORED~!

if i could turn back time

2007-09-17T03:23:00.000+08:00

before i start my topic, i juz browsed one of my gd fren blog... she shut it down.. abit shocked but i guess i understand.. reason is easy.. blog is supposed to let ppl release/vet their views but some ppl juz make comments abt it.. be it good or bad. but since u decided to write one, esp in blogspot, u hav to b prepared for comments. ppl might read it n tok back behind u while some might hav diff view of u or some might even started to realise wat is goin wrong..

well, for this fren of mine, i tink she rec'd too much neg feedback abt her r/s, i mean her bf appearance ba.. if only she still check n hav her tag valid, i will tell her tt, to love someone, appearance is not e top priority. character is e one which matters. yes, i can tell her straight in her face tt her bf not yandao at all. but if he can treat her well, take gd care of her, make her happy n love her w all his heart, tt is enuf. everyone will grow old. everyone looks wrinkled n old one day. so wat if he/she is a georgous one now? bt nvm, diff ppl view it diff way... see how u accept ba..

juz like when ppl ask mi abt how my ex look like, or even wanted to see their face in friendsters, i m reluntact to show cz i can say tt i reali had bad taste in most of them. duno y i like them in e 1st place or even do stupid tings for them. tts y i m not tt sensitive to others remarks abt my bf cz i m used to it n when u love someone, other tings dont seems to matter at all.

k la, back to my topic liao..

juz came back frm geylang with hubby n his frenz. ate 12 durians among 6 of us. makin my hubby burps non stop now n i still cant burp at all. DiAoZzz.. On e way back, hubby slpin in e car while e other 4 r tokin.. mE? as usual.. dazing at e passin trees n buildings... i dun tok much to them.. 1st i dun speak dialects so i cant totally understand wat they tokin abt. 2nd, i dun join their outings alot. cz i m workin, else i m too tired after work. i duno y i juz start to tink, wat if i hav e chance/ability to turn back time?

at 1st i tot of turning to e time i doin my attachment.. den i tink i rather dun change anithin n accept my life now. den i started to tink if i could do tt, i will turn to e day i graduate from sec sch. but den i hope i can chnage my grades for O's of cz, hahaa.. if i could chnge tt, i can choose more courses i want n wun land in TP IT. cz i dun hav much frenz, let alone buddies in TP. i m a 100% plain jane in TP. if i can do tt, i will choose ngee ann, cz my buddy is there, n hope my life is as colourful as hers now. but again, if i'm not in TP IT, i wun hav chance to work durin sip.

y i wanted to go back so far? bcz i duno y i choose some of my ex bf.. if i could, i shdnt join fish n co...a place where u cant earn much at all. u will spend more of ur savings den u can save for future.. i wun meet tt terrible guy n caused so many regrets in my life. but i cant complain tt i hav met someone hu treat mi well aft him. but someone whom i m not 100% in love with due to his big size appearance...cz i looked like his niece when we stand tgt. yes i do care abt appearance at times. but again, i m not a da mei nu so i shdnt tink or wanted much.

but gd ting from fish n co is...i get to noe more foreign frenz from indo, myanmar, vietnam, phil, msia. n oso e job exp. but there is none hu owas kp in touch w mi now.

tp.. a place i spent 3 lonely yrs. dislikes e lecturers.. dun hav much frenz thre.. owas alone during break.. force myself to eat alone at e canteen. dress like a nerd cz no trendy frenz w mi to change mi. owas hide in labs to surf net cz really no prgs.. crying alone at stairs due to family or r/s probs.. just nth thre for mi to miss e times i had there. i tink i will oni b grateful for e SIP they gav mi. sim lim sq. a messy place but a place to meet someone great. someone to b remembered. tts it.

carls jr. my 1st FT job. started very cheerful n full of prospect for mi tt time cz i m e pioneer batch n e oni gal mgment in e team. boss tink highly of mi cz i m v enthu to learn n org tings. bt somehow i met my hubby n started to get too involved in r/s n tings started to go wrong. ppl started to hav neg feedback on mi. n politics started to happen in most areas. i went HQ aft tt. tot i can hav sth new. though i m offered trainer position which need mi to interact with US ppl. i turned down n took up admin instead cz i lack of confident in myself. STUPID rite. hahaa.. but in e office, u can really see how politics is played. TERRIBLE. office only less den 10 ppl n yet its so messy. 10mnths n i quit.

now at gv. tot its fun. yes it is but depends on hu u worked with. everything was 'nice n peaceful' to mi till i go vivo. a place i see e true faces of most ppl. i referring to hq ppl. gettin more n more sian of e place bt i hav to move on. this is workin life. nid a job for my future. i hav to accept it.

ARh... wrote so much... but honestly, its not e my entire feelings cz public blog is nv a safe place to speak out real feelings. if i wan, i will chose those which hav private function or like msn space.. where i can choose ppl to view my blog. but i hav shut it down cz i wrote too much abt my hubby which is e past liao. OOps...hahah.. he noes it but i dun mind cz we r open to each other.

honestly, we r not e ones hu love e most in our lives but somehow we r used to hav each other in our lives which make it a habit for us. tink thre is a webbie which reali reflects life but i lost e link somehow cz its been yrs, i still hav it bt cant b view animore.
it says tt everyone will meet 4types of ppl.
1st = someone u love alot
2nd = someone he/she loved u alot
3rd = both love each other alot
4th = someone hu's not ur most loved but both love each other equally, hu is ur life partner.

yes mi n my hubby belongs to e 4th category.
but i tink i get e 3rd one wrong but i realli cant rem wat type is e 3rd one. but its really v long since i read e webbie so i cant recall.

k la, wrote long enuf.. so naggy rite... 4am n i havent slp. wat mama m i? haha... but i cant slp~!
take care folks~!

Sianz

2007-09-11T13:41:00.000+08:00

Ar.. Really got sore throat liao.. mayb too long nv eat tt chilli den i add alot in e noodles which result my current state... jz tot i wanna fa xie by eating sth tt i havent eat for a long time n i shdnt eat at all. so vexed tt day.. heng hubby nv did sth tt i tot he will, if not i duno how to control my mood liao.. tink i better shut my mouth at work more liao, tot when nick left, n fion not ard, i tok lesser but seems like ppl still ask mi tok n tings get worst. got mi into misunderstanding.. both sides got wrong but i lazy to ask ani of them liao.. it jz make myself being trapped n dun feel gd. i shd b a happy mama~! n continue to do my count down.. i shall claim my marriage leave aft e rest is back in mid oct.. so i hav more rest when my stomach is bigger~!

hmm.. 2days off.. wat shd i do? tink i camp at home again.. esp now my throat is lidat.. wasted...
tot of goin punggol to find my mum toktok and see e babies..but i oso no face to see her cz havent giv her jia yong.. but how to giv when i havent even settle my bills... ArrH, y money owas not enuf... so envy hubby can buy new bag when he juz got his little pay... i nv stop him, cz its for his work, n he oso v long nv buy things for himself le ba.. n i aldy buy a pair of shoes for myself this mnth. but i still got lots to buy..esp clothes... now my cupboard got more clothes tt i cant wear compared to e limited ones i could wear now.. all r so dull..but maternity clothes r so ex... duno to get from sis again anot..but scare i spoil her clothes..esp she so fussy n borrow mi so many liao..

fan fan fan... canotcanot..nid to stay happy..if not next time bb wun b tt cheerful.hhaa.. but how to b cheerful when my house owas full of shouting?? dun get e wrong msg.. i mean my mother in law owas like to raise her voice when she tok, even others ask her simple qn, she oso ans in loud voice.. hubby sis was raised up by her so she oso tok in e same way...imagine i owas in e room but i noe wats happening outside.. cz all tok so loud.. sometimes oso waken up by them... n i hate it bcz last time my own house oso lidat..n mi n my sis cant stand my dad and mum when they r lidat.. y i moved to new house oso e same.. y cant have quiet moments... duno y m i still complaining when i noe things r lidat when i noe my hubby 2yrs ago..

Bored

2007-08-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

1+ week nv update blog lo.. cz too lazy to write..but well, today is my off day n all my tings r done, i shall write one ba..

wed nite is nick n gracina last day, so bu se de.. the latter i like to play w her short short hair and e other, hai~ he is one of e closer colleague i hav in vivo.. enjoyed seein him owas scarin colleen from behind, tok craps with him, choose station to close at nite, supper times at boon lay, etc etc.. but now, hai~ due to some major changes in hq..many of us r affected.. fion oso start to hav her hosp leave, omg.. all kaki gone..left colleen.. tink we 2 now shall owas on e dot go home liao..
nvm i still got 3more months to go before i 'enjoy' my long break..haha..

oh no, i hav nth to say liao.. so unlike mi..mayb too sian liao.. but one ting to b happy abt is tt my hubby get converted to FT.. juz had e news today.. so happy.. n hope he can do well in this new job.. my burden can b lessen too.. can really start saving for our bb liao..tml is his san shu bb 1st yr bday..still duno wat to buy for him.. toys r e oni ting i can tink of..haha..

tml got to go work by 7am..omg.. mi alone doin day shift... col n jas will join mi too.. so sian sia.. in e past owas have 2 day mgr but now oni 1.. got 1 extra come over but she juz another staff to mi, as in she dun nid to do openin n closin, dun nid to plan roster, hardtop, do paperwork, she juz nid to b up at gc.. poor col n jas hav to perform day shift alone at times...
tink next time i shall arrange my checkup on wed, i simply hate to do morn on wed.. esp when i m alone~!! hate to check hard top. its bound to hav many tings pop out when i m gettin ready to check the hardtop.. recent wed oso, tot everyting ok liao den 2 diff technician looked for mi which i nv expected... get stuck with them at e same time for 1+ hr.. lucky got col to help mi out to check thur.. den so sway oso, my 1st step into office, phone rang..1 mc... 1 hr later, 2nd mc... kns day... in e end, it all so messy e whole day..
1st time till thur, the hard top nt ready yet.. it reflect so badly on mi, esp i m e one checking.. hu will noe i m stuck upstairs to handle e technician n everyting delays.. nvm, tink others oso will tink i check hardtop v slow.. let them tink lo if they realli did tt way. i m slow in plannin hardtop too, this i admit.. i oni can plan roster fast if i hav enuff staffs and let mi alone in 1 corner to finish it.

tml i shall leave office by 5..dun care too..i come at 7 ma.. e rest can leave at 4 or even earlier den tt when they hav event in e morn, so i shall 'learn' from them..haha... somemore i alone nia.. sun oso... n tml got many events... duno wat met opera singing contest, movie club road show... small small redemption... sian...juz hope morn staffs dun giv mi birdie~!

so hungry now.. waitin for hubby to b home for dinner... so envy him can get abt e same pay as mi n do office job while my timin owas so late... confirm plus chop tt my bb is an owl when she is born... her mama owas slp so late..everyday smell popcorn..almost everyday get complaints... everyday nag ppl (but i enjoy doin so)... see she agree, if not she wun kick mi now.. cant wait to see her on my mon checkup...last checkup manage to see her face but too young, so cant see tt clear...mon she shd b better lookin liao, hahhaaa...

k la.. take care folks~!

Twist of Fate

2007-08-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

Finally i finished the interpersonal skills.. tink its been a year since i get the chance to attend course.. or shd i say, ever since i'm in vivo, i seldom get to go courses ba.. some courses r v v v bored..but this is alright.. perhaps its sth tt we use.. n even maybe the ppl who attend with mi are fun, tink maybe cz i noe most of them liao...
its a gd time to attend course too.. giv mi more days to stay away from work..esp so many tings happened.. be it staff or management..

rec'd a shockin email tt made many ppl puzzled n guessing...ppl gossipin and meetin up.. true enuf, all our guesses r rite.. but still when official news r out, everyone still v depressed.. i might still considered new in this industry but somehow i felt depressed.. duno how many ppl will do sth tt i dun wish to see but well, this is society, b it gd or bad, i hav to accept it.
soon, heard another news from staffs, not e 1st case of the year, probably the 5th case?? to staffs they might tink its a shock but to mgrs we r abit xin hui yi leng.. but nevertheless, their path is decided by them, gd or bad, oni one can blame himself/herself for it..

aldy tot i can rest abit during course but yet rec'd a sms last nite.. some guessing again but it maked mi insonmia till 4am...n i was 90% aslp on my bed ard 12am till i suddenly wake up to pee n happened to see e sms.. i was shocked n afraid sth i dun wish to see gonna happened.. i turned here n there..closed my eyes but still couldnt slp though i m v tired. i kept tinkin in my mind, i noe tt if there is someone to leave, i aldy expected hu is the one but i try not to tink so much.. i was so moody when i go for my course.. drank coffee for my breaks, juz feel so moody to get involved w the activities esp my new team is abit quiet compared the one i had yesterday.
well.. n i m rite...though i m mentally prepared but i still feel v sad.. abit emotional but managed to control.. in service line, this kind of thing bound to happen.. mayb aldy form 1 grp aft so long, suddenly 1 is missing, somehow i feel tt its not complete.. it juz pull one person down.. luckily i m attendin courses w other mgrs, they might not noe mi v well, so even if i quiet, they wun tink so much, if i was at work, die liao, sure many ppl can c n ask y..but well, i b ok tml, i'll get busy, more ppl ard i b ok..

ok... hubby back, i shall stop here..see ya guys tml~!

Results Out

2007-08-06T17:38:00.000+08:00

Yoyo.. surprised tt i update my blog within days?? bo bian.. i'm too eng liao..

just had my detailed scanning today.. woosh... miss my hosp trip cz i rem wrong timing.. tour starts 11 n i reach at 1120...tot my appt card wrote 1130 so i came at 1120 but i miss e tour...hav to wait for e next one at 2.. but in e end i finished all my checkup at 115.. y dun i stay for e next trip? hmm..nvm..next time ba.. tink i nid to go back for check up for another detailed one...

well well.. it took mi 45mins to finish everything..wa.. e 'glue' on my stomach so cold sia... den bb too active, head turn here n there.. doc wan to take pic of e face oso canot.. i hav to turn side to side to make it turn back.. make mi so xin ku esp doc hav to press e 'scanner' harder on my stomach to find e rite spot.. to add to it, i oso havent eat a single ting since i woke up.. hungry + pain..wah.... ma fan... in e end she get her snr doc to help mi scan e heart n e face.. oni a while o.. n she did it.. auntie still better den young lady..haaha..

its a baby gal.. abit surprised cz most ppl say my zheng zhuang looks like i hav a boy..somemore hubby is eldest grandson...so i oso abit stress.. but nvm, gal is gd too cz gal more guai..can help to take care of e young one.. den his cousin bb gal has another playmate liao.. like my hubby sis n her cousin.. den my frenz can help to doll her up, hahaaha.. now its time to tink of names lo..tink i gonna find books to do research liao, hehee...

duno y today internet turns better.. my youtube loading is much faster.. able to watch a few clips while hubby slpin.. though i oso slpy but i try not to slp now, if not tonite i cant slp n tml i doin morn... last nite wait till 5 den can slp... tink my bb will b an owl like her parents... somemore last nite so active.. i was watchin tv den kp kicking mi, i can see my stomach movin.. den i nv see tv but keep lookin at my stomach, hahaa... i tot its e legs but in e end aft today scan, den i noe its e hands.. wher got gal so rough one, punch mi until so song.. hope it dun turn up to b a tom boy.. nvm, i send her to dance lessons, hahaa..

k la.. tink i gonna watch my show again.. take care folks~

Boring..

2007-08-04T14:50:00.000+08:00

Omg... tot i can catch another epi of huan huan ai today when hubby is still slp.. hu noes e loading is super slow...still now i havent even manage to catch 2/9 of e epi when its aldy like..50mins liao???

Bored bored bored... now is simply slacking in office.. tink rush hr3 n 881 n secret will make us abit more busier ba.. e harry potter like no ppl watch one.. duno y too..but nvm, its gd to b bored...haha.. compared to e sm3, poc3, transformer period.. tt can kill ppl... but nvm...its over~! if i dun hav bb, dunno how much weight i can lose for tt period..aww....nvm.. aft bb is born i can hav free slimin session at vivo again, hahaa...

hubby went drinking last nite to celebrate our gd fren bday.. tink he too long nv drink, drank 2bottles n blur liao..when he pick mi at work frm e pub, i knew it liao.. cz he like tokin q loud on e cab.. back at home leh..he aldy blur 70%... so long nv see him vomit liao.. worst is tt i hav to prepare warm water, cook sth for him to eat... my sour plum oso giv him eat.. stilll tell mi not to treat him so gd if not he feel guilty.. omg..tink he forget we married liao.. if i dun treat him gd, den hu do? siao.. guilty den dun play games n find job lo.. i aldy dun dare to go back my own house cz he no job n i cant ans my family..but nvm.. not gonna stress him again..he will fa bi qi again.. let him hav e initiative to get one ba..hope its asap... bb cant wait le :(

hmm.. q hapi tt i finish my site report pretty early this month.. deadline is 5th n i done liao..last time owas drag over e deadline.. bt tink of aug one i nid to write alot..cz of our prc.. tokin abt them.. omg..i gonna take up two n to b train by mi..n guess wat? train them at floor~! a station tt i least confident in.. maybe owas help cb n bo, i noe e stations better..but floor... its like aft i got bb, i nv help them clear hall liao.. last time nth to do i will go help n some call mi high paid cleaner.. but now cant go clear except gc cz in gc i can help to fold blankets.. now i tink i feel abit canot carry chz hd n jumbo hd containers liao..omg.,. i hav to use my tummy to 'ding' e container when its full..n its not gd.. omg..lidat i many tings can carry.. so ma fan,, if not like last time, i can climb up n down, carry syrup or sugar myself..now everythin oso canot..sian.. tt time star cinema oso..got 1 of e mgr ask mi change coke syrup when their cb no more.. i was like..u askin a mama to carry tt 25kg syrup?? but in e end still got coke ma...its grape no more lo.. grape oni 12.5 kg so i can carry..but happened tt another mgr saw mi n ask mi dun move n he helped mi do, hehee.. tink e star cinema this time not bad..maybe cz got senior ce ard..not all r new ce.. opening oso q boring till i can do hand language with nic..haha..

2more days n i will b seeing my bb again.. cz i gonna do a detailed scannin on mon..haha..oni ting tt kp mi lookin forward is to do scan.. hope my bb gets everything developin gd gd..hehe.. n i can noe my bb is a gal or boy liao, hehe.. so tt i can start givin bb names liao.. got to find 1 day to go buy maternity clothes too... tink i runnin out again.. my sis pass mi some but some not to my style... dun wan to b a auntie when i got bb.. if not all call mi obasang..hahah..

k la..tok too long liao..epi aldy load q alot liao.. faster watch some now, cz got to get ready for work.. kk take care folks~

back again~

2007-07-20T04:32:00.000+08:00

Yo.. ya la, i noe many start complaining i nv update blog..here i m ok...

hmm.. basically today is so bored.. owas kp askin myself wat else to do in office, haha..
oh yeah, i was busy playin with 'mushroom' when her owner went for dinner n movie, hahaa..
so long nv play with hamster liao, n i dun even noe if i m supposed to touch one now, hahaa...but well, i dun care too..

tot i can hav a peaceful closin, but hu noes some stupid patrons fightin in cinema juz cz they not happi with each other.. by rite i shd go up n take a look but i cant, cz i hav to protect another life. thats is y sometimes i felt useless cz i cant go near those aggressive/nasty patrons.. but nevertheless, i juz call security up n told staffs not to kpo cz e security r up liao..

had a light supper with bishan staffs, abit out of topic with them but still, i m glad to meet up them finally, esp i giv birdie so many times, haha... due to e new management rotation, many cinema/assistant cinema mgrs are shifted.. in fact, bishan e worst, 3 out of 5 are shifted out to other loc.. vivo, ys n grand e safest, dun hav ani movement.. tts gd, esp i m used to work with big team, more fun n noisy, hahaaa... more ppl to gossip n accompany~

but got bad pts too.. too many eyes watching my diet, haaha... sometimes whenever i wan to eat something i wan, i will b stop by many ppl, no matter at home or at work.. n the doctor said i can eat anithing.... wth.. sometimes i realli get so pissed off tt i cried in toilet or go home complaint to hubby(though he oso stopped mi from eating some) n cry non stop till i song. tink this is wat they meant by emotional unstable... i aldy hav limited choices of food before i got bb, den now out of e limited choices, i cant eat too much sweet, sugar, fried, heaty, spicy n duno wat food... sometimes realli wan to on struck n drink plain water the whole day~! tt time go supper with hubby, i wan to order green tea, he said canot, said too much sugar, i argue with him.. rubbish leh.. juz cz his fren got risk in diabetic cz she aldy had e history of tt before bb, den now tell mi canot take so much.. for gdness sake... i dun drink soft drinks, i reduce alot on cafeine(duno how to spell) n now i cant even hav a can of grn tea???~! all drinks hav sugar in it wat, lidat i hav nth to drink liao lo, drink plain water isit? nonsense~! i heck care n still order tt when his frenz came.

i get even more emotional aft this incident.. maybe accumulate too many restrictions by others till i cant take it liao.. so now whenever ppl stopped mi from eating sth tt i m eating halfway or others offer mi, i immediately get piss off n dun eat liao.. den go one corner fa xie... imagine u tryin to enjoy sth den others spoil ur mood by sayin not gd..u oso piss off ma... i looked like i did sth wrong sia.. when others not ard, i faster go grab food i like to eat but others dun allow mi. once they back i put aside.. omg.. i m like a thief sia... thus now i realli get fed up n juz eat wtever i wan n ignore others. i aldy so guai aft i noe i got bb... i see frenz ard mi to quit smoke, drink, party when they in mid pregnancy lo.. i stopped all these within my 1st mnth of pregnancy liao.. ppl hu worked alot of morn shift with mi shd noe i owas had a cup of coffee every day, n now i oni had 1 or 2 cups every week or even in a month lo n i cut it down straight within one month too lo..
so better dun make mi get so piss off tt i grab one cigarette or beer to consume infront of all to throw my temper on lo... i m an ox, a taurus, i might hav gd temper n tahan many things but once i cant take it, i heck care everything liao...haha...
**this applies to patrons too.. now i oso heck care cust service if i bad mood.. tink some of e staffs saw it liao.. if wan to argue with mi over a few dollars over e tic, i willl juz tell them to take e money n get out of my sight. cz no pt treating them with a smile but in e end they still complaint to hq n we hav to write report again... as if patrons hu we serve well will write compliment for us to hq... nah~ s'porean r nv been so nice...all they noe is to complain... and.. in fact their english oso fail..owas duno how to read words.. so many instructions stated black n white but still ask us stupid qn... tink they blind or tink we v free to entertain them... hav to use mike to make annoucement loud loud for them to listen.. otherwise?? tok loud loud to them to make them malu in e busy crowd lo, hahaaa... OOps.. =X

tink i cant handle too many complaints or face patrons.. gettin more n more bad influence for bb...next time bb get anti social with humans liao... owas listen to mama complainin n scolding ppl... stomach gettin bigger but still, i nv annouce to all ppl abt it cz dun see a need.. sooner or later it gets more obvious too.. when born den put up webbie again lo, hahaa... 4mnths liao..but still oni gain 3kg.. omg...m i normal?? hope my weight dun goes up alot aft i gav birth...i still wan to go party aft tt, hahaa....

6aug.. still so long for my next appt... cant wait to see bb again..n i juz did a checkup this monday lo, n now i m so impatient liao... bo bian.. i owas tink tt i torturing my bb, i so fussy abt food n yet i cant eat this n ttt... n still hav many issue to worry abt.. hard to b a carefree person now..its not gd for a mama...but i bo bian..juz hope things goes well for hubby n soon i wun b so stress..

Oops.. i complaint too much... tml off day...goin over punggol to visit my mum at my 3rd sis house... so long nv see mum aft weddin...miss her alot.. esp i cant feel ani mu ai at hubby place... cz everytime, as usual, his mum tok n scold so loud outside.. owas dun dare to tok to her... n busy with work, no time to sit down to hav meals at home.. i aldy been missing out alot of home cook meals... not to mention ani pu tang... i nv take in ani tonic since i hav bb.. unless e 2 or 3 times which i bought black ckn n corn soup to drink at work.. cant help to miss my mum cookings... if she ard, she sure cook alot for mi n warm it up when i come home...even if i do closing shift, she still will call mi n tell mi to drink when i home... Aww....miss her terribly..sometimes miss till wanna cry... duno y i dun feel tt strong be4 i m married though i owas stay at hubby place... i miss my mum cookin too.. i m so sicked of outside food till i owas spend 1 hr to tink wat to hav for my meal... i wan to eat porridge..with my spicy toufu...i miss my mum curry ckn... i miss my mum to sayang mi when i m tired.. oops.. y m i a small llittle gal aft i get married.. realli hope she by my side... though my hubby treat mi much better now but i still miss her..

k la.. tok alot alot alot alot liao.. tink sort of make up for e missing blogs..hahhaa... tml i gettin more clothes from my sis~! yeah... so happi esp when i cant fit into my pants now.. e last 2 biggest size i had oso cmi liao.. ok when i walk ard but not when i sit down... lan lan got to wear dress or skirt to work when i got oni 5pcs of it!! pray hard tt my sis share similar fashion wear as mi...otherwise i got to spend alot on clothes again.. n its clothes tt i oni wear for less den 5mnths~!! ARrrrr

Take care folks~!

bored at work

2007-06-24T02:24:00.000+08:00

Sian.... now still in office waiting for eos staffs to be down..
duno how to start scolding someone later..cz he kena caught watching movie durin work.. still can sit down n enjoy e movie.... hai.. duno y this batch so jia lat.. one kena sent back den now another one..y ppl juz cant control their temptation n do things tt will kena scoldings by manager...

well well.. back to work for the 5th day lo.... wa.. my 4 days AL busy with marriage den slackin at home to wait for work.. slack till dun wan to come back work liao, hahhaahaa..
tok abt marriage.. well, i m so glad tt its over finally.. rush here n there like mad juz for it. many asked if i m tired tt day, but no leh.. but duno y when i looked back e pics taken at dinner, q surprised my smile is so faked, hahhaa... nervous?? no leh..feel v calm for the whole day...maybe seen too many wedding liao..so dun feel tt way... but now i still regret i nv bring my cds along for the dinner.. wa, so tulan lo.. my dinner aldy so sian... tot i spent my 2days effort to search for e rite songs n yet i forget to bring cz too tired tt afternn till i rush out w/o it. lan lan go search restaurant music...oni manage to get the march in song, 1st dish is gone cash,...used Alex toh's Jia Gei Wo... i wanted it to be Brian Mcknight's Back at One... Wa... i like e part where e music start lo... fit so nice but yet i din bring...hai~!!!!!

room was in a mess when i get back.. imagine ur room got red bed, red tubs, red lambs... all red.. including the shuang xi words all ard... so red.... bt aniway, both of us fell aslp straight away once we showered.... so far, i m comfortable with e room..though i've been in it for e past 2yrs but it nv been so neat be4..haha... glad tt we get tt cabinet.. nicenice.. still got some empty contatiner to put things o...hehe...

hmm.. enuf of my new life ba.. nth much changes... oni tt i hav to call his parents, pa n ma now.. feel weird...
juz saw july roster... gonna to faint.. 8days straight...somemore its harry potter week... tot i can claim my 3days marriage leave.. but i duno when i wan to clear so i told boss to help mi clear once she feel we enuf ppl to work den i off lo.. but duno y still 8days straight.. faintin fainting... but nvm, mr soh kena 10days... more jialat den mi, hahaha..

wa... eos still havent come down... mayb its quiet these days due to no movies nice for patrons to watch den so quiet n can do closing fast fast.. but dun like e feeling to rot in e office.. esp now slightly more ppl noe abt it, all ask mi stay in office.. its sth i buai tahan.. i need to move ard~! hahaa... almost fell in cb while takin drink for myself n goin back to prep room... lucky nv... maybe cz i wear 2inch heels ba... i v seldom take drink from cb... today i did n i almost fell..so sway.. but nvm, i will b more extra careful..haha

k la.. write v long.. hands tired... still tinkin how to start scolding him, hahaa....

take care folks~!

Ya...i m back

2007-06-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

ya i noe i noe i noe tt i v long nv update blog....hahhaa..many complaining rite....
mi busy with work n personal life ma..muz understnad...my report aldy delay 1week liao leh...i oso havent do at all...see~!

well well.. tink most of u noe liao.. my weddin on this sun...so nw i m super busy...yet so tired from work..sometimes see long q but i bo bian, i hav to rush to do my tings..
so tired.....my weddin pics not ready to let u all see...oni 1 pic to show... e rest still doin effects...
today juz saw my bed photo effects....not bad..oni tt my bf smile not nice...bobian..he is someone hu seldom smile n even tkae pics~!

cz of weddin again, i request to do morn shifts for 1st 2 weeks of june...abit regret now...every morn by 8am reach workplace..n hav to pack popcorn do paperwork.. cant leave on e dot cz too busy n paiseh to leave lidat... no time to do my tings at all~!!! ARrr.....oni 5days left n i hav many not done yet...progs all packed till sun... sian..sian..sian.. i havent giv out red bombs to e ppl i wanna invite lo
omg

tired tired tired...last nite plan hardtop till 4am...plan till slp in front of pc..bt bobian...at work busy keyin those grp booking infos..n omg its alot to key lo.... den go outside run abit of ops den back to office to plan...kns... not enuf prints, hav to tink how to shift prints... plan towards e end i fed up n agar agar nia..hahaa.... cz today i hav to go ikea n marina n plaza to setttle tings...tml bf goin ikea to get e cupboard we saw... at least settle a little bit of e mess in e room... still got to bring coat for my papa to try...old fashioned him...say dun wan coat bt where got weddin dun wear..not nice lo..hai.. got to go taka to buy pillows yet havt o bring him coat to try..n hav to help bf sis paint nail polish tml.... den thur hav to meet jie meis for dinnner to discuss e details...den fri morn can reelax abit, den 3pm go collect gown, 630 go meet sis for facial..den sat whole day booked by my mama liao...

kill mi man...so tiring...n so many bookings...i duno how to go n do my tings when so many bookings...duno how will other tink...but i realli no choice...my time is runnin up n i so tired aft work everyday till sometimes i juz collapse on e bed n slp once i reach home..n tts it...time wasted...hai...

so dear sun zi n sun nu...dun make ah ma angry at work hor..careful i explode one day due to stress, hahaa....k la..stop here liao...tml morn again... 2 more morn shifts n i off till tue~ yeah~ finally can do my tings freely w/o work...hehhe

back to sg~!

2007-04-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

Yo folks, i m back~!!
thanks for all the sms-es u all sent to wish mi hapi bday.. i didnt reply cz i aldy been sms-ing and calling out when mi at bangkok..my bills sure super high liao..

well well.. overall my trip is a nice n safe one.. went many places to shop..like MBK,Platinum, Chatuchak,Suanlam Nite Market, Chinatown, Siam mallS..many many.. of cz not forgetting there r times we r lost n walked all over... very tiring at the end of each days..
i tink for this trip, half of my money all gone for buyin gifts there.. oni spent some on myself.. bo bian.. i hav big family, my bf oso hav big family cz i got to buy for his family n his ahma whole relatives.. my location oso v big.. kris buy for e other 3mgrs while i got to buy 8~! i still hav trad ft n pt staffs, gd staffs.. omg~! i bought most gifts from chatuchak.. v nice stuffs but v crowded~! everyday i sweat alot aft shopping.. not forgettin e miss kristin went to her pet shop n shopped vlong for stuffs for her pets.. realli love her pets so much.. but its ok, cz there got fans n boss giv mi chair to sit while waiting for her,hahaha... tokin abt exciting.. i tink would b e tutu experience.. they anihow drive one sia.. so scary when i took them.. but once n oni time cz too dangerous, so kris oni let mi try once for fun, haha..

as for e hotel, its cool.. we stay on e executive floor, ahha.. tink we book n check in early, tts y we got tt.. got breakfast buffet every mornin there..many ang mo, so we seldom see s'porean there, tink most of them go for baiyoke sky.. but its gd, i dun nid to see their faces even when mi at bangkok..

ok, enuf of e trip.. if i were to continue, it will b nv ending liao..
lets tok abt when we cme back ba.. its my bday on e day back.. miss kris dun let mi pay for the meals, so she paid for all.. food at thai not to my taste, everytime i cant finish them cz of e smell.. even at e airport i tot i can hav some western food but in e end, they added lemongrass in it til i cnat take it.. i was tokin to bf on e phone, kp suanin him y his colleagues can come back 1 week whereas he cant even take 1 day off for mi.. kp hinting him lo.. den e way he tok to mi when he ask mi to call him when i boarding e plane, he makes mi tink tt he is comin back.. of cz i m happi if he can make it cz my luggage is heavy, den miss kristin hav her bf to fetch her..so nice.. but from my past exp, its better for mi not to hope so much, if not i get disappointed again..
so when i was collectin my luggage, i looked out but i din see him.. den when i call him he said he on e boat.. so i was like tears in my eyes but i wun let it flow out cz many ppl... den try to act normal till we approachin e gate n miss kristin tell mi she saw someone familar n its him~!!!!!
hehe.. so happy to see him finally.. cant wait to hug him aft 3 weeks of not being able to see each other.. his hair so long liao.. looked tired cz he back in afternn den tml early aft got to go back work.. but v touched he came back for mi..

saw my cousin at e airport too, so qiao tt his gf oso same plane as mi n i juz sold him tickets at my counter last week when he here at vivo..haha.. back to bf, hehee..
he sent mi home so i can pack some stuff to bring over his place..cz i buy things for his family n ah ma.. actually buy e tie for him but cz i couldnt find sth sutiable for his father so i din buy.. but since he ask if i got buy for him, i told him i giv e tie to his father instead ba since i got him a pant.. den we r back to woodlands.. aft my shower, he v cute, he closed all lights in e room, blind fold mi n carry mi to e bed.. den when i open eyes, he bought mi a cake n said belated bday.. its a simple but sweet one.. i'm so touched by it liao.. cz 1st he came back for mi, 2nd he buy mi a cake which i din expect at all.. so we juz ate n slp liao.. cz both r tired..

juz sent him halfway to his work place cz he sent mi to his ahma place so i can pass them e gifts.. tok a while n i went home cz i din unpack my stuffs.. so sad to see him off but glad i can see him for a few hrs.. he looked mature aft he came back.. so glad tt i make e choice..realli happy to see his change.. tink others will change their opinion for him de to accept him..

ok la.. wrote so long..so slpy now buy hav to unpack 1st be4 i slp, tml start work liao.. sian...

take care folks~!

Stupid Patrons

2007-04-21T02:26:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. so bored now.. so, lets tok bad abt patrons here since we cant do so in real life. Below are common examples of how stupid some patrons are:

Example 1:
Patron: I wan 2 tix to meet the robinsons
Staff: Sir, we oni left with the 1st 2 rows from the screen, behind is ALL taken
Patron: Hmm.. so is there ani back seats for mi?
Conclusion > Patron are deaf and dun understand simple english

Example 2:
Staff: Sorry sir, no outside food is allow, i afraid u cant bring in n we hav to keep for u
Patron: Y? where got such ting
Staff: Sir, our house rules standee is juz beside u, it stated v clearly there
Patron: No, how i noe you all put there, n no one tell mi abt it
Conclusion > Patron jz dun admit they are blind

Example 3:
Staff: Mdm, i afraid your son need a ticket cz he abv height limit
Patron: where got?! he oni 3yrs old.. n he can sit on my lap
Staff: mdm, its our house rules, and its very obvious tt ur son is even taller den 1m
Conclusion > dont tok crap, where got 3yrs old n more den 1m..get 1 more tix will die meh

Example 4:
Staff: Sir, you cant redeem vouchers at VISA platinum Q, u hav to join normal Q
Patron: Y cant i? i bought the vouchers using my platinum card, so y i cant use the vouchers, i dont noe y you cant see the link
Conclusion > Patron is juz brainless, aldy said himself tt its last time buy usin the card, we are tokin abt now.. as if i care how u spend your card to last time. no card no bargain

Example 5:
Patron: Y i cant refund my tickets? i m juz 45mins late for the movie, i paid for it, n y i cant get a refund?
Mgr: Sir anything aft 30mins the movie start, we cant do anithing for you
Patron: Y u r so inflexible? i dun care, i wan a refund right now, else i complain
Mgr: we still cant do anithing for you, here is cust service no
Conclusion > u urself late for the movie, so dun push blame on others.. Talk w/o knowing you r makin a fool of urself in e public

Example 6:
Staff: Sorry sir, you nv bring ur ID for this M18 movie, i afraid we cant let you in
Patron: Wat? dont i look 18 yrs old? my parents can assure u tt i m abv 18 and i hav a credit card to prove tt
Staff: sorry, no id no entry
Patron: wat nonsense is this? (Turn behind curse n swear the staff)
Conclusion > patrons juz dun read papers n website, cant even see the house rules standee beside you. So wat u hav credit card? i have 1 when i m 16 liao lo..so easy to apply now..even ur parents vow tt u r abv e age, we oso wun let u in. U go in = we die in mda hands

Example 7:
Staff: sir, u cant enjoy the discount cz you are not followin the instructions
Patron: y cant i? the doted line is for mi to cut rite, so i cut it n now u tell mi i cant?
Staff: Sir it is stated very clearly that you hav to present the bag with e cutout together
Patron: I came all the way here n u tell mi i cant use it? u noe wat? i m someone big from a big company, i wan ur MD no to complaint
Conclusion > if u r someone big, den y would u bother to b so cheapo to use e discount. U r makin urself a fool, being big in a big company with no brains? cant even read simple instructions on e bag. Draw dotted line die die = cut it out meh? duno at is e meanin of e word "design"

Example 8:
Staff: sir u hav to join normal Q cz we dun accept VISA gold in the platinum q
Patron: Is it, i duno. Since i queue here for sometimes liao, den giv mi chance to buy la
Staff: Looking at the long queue in normal Q, sir, if i do that, its very unfair to the rest in the normal Q
Conclusion > I dun care how big position, even u big stars i oso heck care, no platinum card no talk. dun try to act innocent and pity in front of us. its disgusting

Example 9:
Staff: Sir, ur phone bookin have been release for public sales, i afraid u got to buy new sets now
Patron: Wat? Why you all realise it, i rush all the way here n u tellin mi tt?
Conclusion > Being impatient will results this. Deaf meh, cant u wait till e end of ur phone bookin den hang up. Aldy said v clear in the phone tt hav to come 30mins b4 show. Website oso got put, no eyes ar

Example 10:
Patron: Where is cinema 8 ar?
Staff: Go straight up escalator n turn to ur right
Conclusion > Patron r too lazy to even lift up their heads to see the direction signage. Some even went behind the escalator. No brains, as if we hav such a tiny little small cinema behind there

Example 11:
Patron: where is the toilet? (Patron watchin movie at GV MAX)
Staff: Sir, u hav to either go to 7-11 toilet or go e other side
Patron: WAt? so far? you all purposely make fun of us to ask us walk so long for a toilet?
Mgr: Sir, it is the buildin structure, we cant do thing abt it
Patron: WAt do u mean by tt? u muz do sth abt it, u r juz makin us a fool n waste our time
Conclusion > Customer owas rite right? ya, i go install temp toilet in front of gv max entrance lo. Nonono, i go cut the wall n install toilet myself, force buildin to connect sewage pipes for mi.

Exampe 12:
Patron: I lost my wallet, i confirm its ur staff hu took it
Staff: Mgr, i bring them into e cinema to check themselves aldy. and we did not find anithing
Mgr: Sir, we realli nv take it, if u wan to check on my staffs, i afraid u got to call police
Conclusion > Juz admit u r careless. take care of ur own tings la, dun anihow point finger at my staff when u lost ur ting due to ur own mistakes. where got ppl so honest, pick your wallet n return. dun b native~!

Still got many many more incidents to mention but now time is late, mind is goin to slp anitime, so i shall stop here... Final conclusion is.. sometimes it juz shameless to see ur fellow s'poreans being so stupid n unreasonable. Pls dun tink u spend tt little amount to c movie n we got to treat u like a king or queen. we are humans too. so pls dun make a fool infront of the rest in future.

Take care folks, tink u'll agree to my examples~! hahaha

Better now?

2007-04-18T05:57:00.000+08:00

Yo..i'm back again.. tink i busy editing e blog till no mood to write.. but someone complaining i nv write so long liao, so i m here~!
i guess now my fonts are darker now so dun complain liao o~! v long nv yan jiu codes n change them liao.. my it knowledge is limit o..

hmm.. wat shd i tok abt now.. abt work? aiyo..still e same lo..except tt now many staffs go back to sch, den mostly wan 2weeks rest to adapt sch.. maybe diff generation ba, when i was young i nv go n tink abt rest, i juz go work, hahaa.. hey hey..i not hinting or indirectly shooting e staffs hu r reading this now hor.. tts y i said its diff generation earlier, hehe.. but of cz hope enuf staffs can work from sch holi..if not die.. have to recruit more ppl now.. but everytime take in abt 5new staffs per week, in e end oni 1-2stayed. sian.. when see these, it juz demoralise ppl..but wat to do, juz do watever i m told to lo..if not everyone die in e end..

finally all mgrs r back to work now, can gossips together again..hehe..juz went to gv grand's jasmine bday party at cineleisure kbox. sang till 3am, had 1 chivals & 4jug tiger.. but ok la.. got 14 of us.. 1st time go kbox with them, den i realise many can sing v well lo.. i so paiseh to sing cz i owas 'kill chicken' + tt nite i down with cough n block nose.. but i juz anihow sing la..hahaa... they were discussin whose bday next, but oni mi n colleen noe hu , so e rest assume e next one is stephen in june, haha.. gdgd..

today is a bad day for mi, esp e incident on e train which i shall not describe e whole incident here..cz its so malu.. when doin closin, did a little bit of scoldin.. e 2 europa guys r quarreling.. take turns to come down complain to mi. one say e other owas do nth when he see him, e other says he bully him with many tasks. omg.. i dun trust one of them frm e start but its my 1st time seeing him so fed up, so i believed tt e other did has fault too. both tell 2stories but conclusion is e same, they not happy with each other lo. so i juz pt out both wrongs n how to improve lo.. mi not like bernard, can scold so loud..haha.. unless i reali in bad mood n tt person provoke mi..haha.. but nowadyas my mood is ok, so ppl, relax k?

aniway..spiderman gala is on next wed..omg..e nite before i fly off..i guess i most prob b back to work tt nite to help ba..everytime see them come back help, if nv come, like v bad hor..hehe

okok, enuf of work..hmm..abt my personal life? nv go out with old frenz so nth to update lo.. oni can update abt my piggy.. ya, e 'Boy' in my tag.. he oni left mi 11days ago..but it seems so long.. still got 3more weeks to go.. tings will b fine.. since this is not my 1st time to separate from my love one le..frenz oso askin mi, y e guys i choose owas will leave my side for sometime de? i oso duno? fate ba.. mayb separating us is gd ba, it makes mi feel like we juz fell in love again cz v long nv kp sms n tok on phone. cz in e past we see each other everyday..
off 2 days..duno wat to do sia.. mayb go setup e couple blog for piggy cz he lazy to do one, and my blog design has couple version, so ppl, wait for it k? hehe..
okok, i noe i m wordy..so i shall stop here.. take care folks~!

My 1st blogspot entry~!

2007-04-13T16:07:00.000+08:00

wOooO.. yOz, i m here finally.. i had another msn blog but tts too private so i guess many of u cant view it. but nvm, here is another one, which all ppl can see n gossip k?
but 1st of all, have to thank MR SIM YONG XING for his help to edit my codes cz i m programming idiot though i had a IT cert. i dun hav time to change more festures yet..so guys, juz wait k? hehe.. my grandson, see~ i so gd, i put ur name so big leh... so continue to let mi tekan u k??

back from my genting trip on tue.. damn tired till i havent continue plannin my roster n i fell aslp, lucky i plan till fri on last sun liao..hehee.. well well.. had fun during the trip, not forgetting e exciting games we had.. till now i stil duno its cz of e bowlin games or e super high outdoor game tt causes my butts to b so pain.. nvm, its ok now le.. si imax still say its cz my butt is too qiao den pain...diao~!
i spent all my money on cookies n beers..omg..cant believe i spent on them.. but its better den spending in casino ba..since i dun like to gamble at all.. of cz with e fun loving tm staffs, life isnt boring there.. on e way back oso had some games on e bus, zhong ji mi ma.. loser got to let other players pinch e face.. i m consider lucky, oni kena twice but for both time, got someone pinch super hard..but nvm, cz i pinch him even harder~! haha..

k k, enuf of e trip, lets say abt work ba.. i m so PISSED OFF when i noe tt stupid lays promo got changes..now they accept those cut off w/o the bag~! KNS~!!! wa lao a... last nite i kena scold n made to see md juz cz i dun allow tt stupid dummy use e promo with his cut out.. n now wat? they allow it~! den mi n fion kena scolding by those patrons for nothing... cant imagine if tt patrons came back to show off to mi, i duno where to put my face sia.. duno which idiot go n approve it. i complaint to irene y lidat, i felt tt i m a fool sia.. she oso bo bian cz our md allows it.. duno wats in his mind, nv help his staffs at all.. giv so many benefits for patrons for wat...hai.. getting more n more disappointed in ways he handle tings.. now i tink its pointless to argue so much with patrons, in e end, cust service still apologoised n giv them comps, y not i giv myself..?!
last nite oso got 2 ang mo, told mi to extend their comps valid date, i see tt they flying off, so out of gd will i change for them cz canot one, if bernard handle sure canot. guess wat? tt bitch ask for 2weeks extention, i ren, i said ok, cz they fly off 1 week, i giv them 1 more week to choose movie slowly, somemore those comps r internet bkin wrong den giv de.. den u noe wat? ang mo worst den s'porean. now she asked for 1month~! KNN, i stared at her n said, "u want extention, so i giv u a week, u wan 2weeks, i oso giv u, now u wan 1 month, sori i cant do it, so u fine with e 2weeks?" if not for e cust service tt we muz giv, i confirm shoot her thick thick on e spot n dun do anithng for her.
such a quiet day oso got these stupid patrons, think here is market ar..bargain with mi somemore..sian.. i tink i gettin more n more attitude to them cz i sometimes buai tahan these patrons.. tink i juz shut mysself up with office work, face pc n fight politics in office suan le..hai~!

k la, i wrote long liao, nid to prepare to go work..nite shift these days.. cant tekan my grandchildren, somemore all goin back sch~! i m dying..no stafffs~! HOW~..
nvm.. mgr go open counters again lo.. hai..siansiansian...

:: My SoLiTaRy WorLd ::

傻瓜

back to blogging~

wat a bday.........

counting down........

Life gonna b even more bored...

overloaded

Contd from previous entry

背影 - 林宥嘉

grey goose~

bad start of the yr

Bored Xmas...

Hmm

tired~!

Gonna b busy again

busy with programmes~!

i found my gang~!

argh..

Quiz

sick again

S-I-C-K-E-D

B-O-R-E-D

updates~!

Updates Updates~!

树, 叶, 风 的故事

一个场无情的地震

last entry

songz

life

D

update update

stupid mktg

Closed

am i heartless? towards her??

Happy BirthdaySss

Outings over~!

outing outing

life so bored...

misery..tired...

life sucks

emo

mentally n physically tired

New Beginning

Hmm..

tml is the day~!

Averlyn's Pics~!

for now...

蔡依林 - 柠檬草的味道

我的心已碎了

another disappointed vday..3rd yr in e row

bored...

to cont

my return to st james~! WoooWOoo

First time giving angbao~!

to cont

我恨我爱你

back~ restless again

Life has to go on

10more days~!

life sux

Part 2

Averlyn Pang Yan Ting

4more days...

8 More days~! shd i hope bb is out now or wait?

why am i up so early?

别说爱我

False alarm

Oni 2.3kg~!

17days to go~!

useless bum...when can he b out of my sight

Painful Oooo

'Gracious' Singaporeans

counting down again

Nervous, excited or fear?

aRRr..

Insonmia

B O R E D

LiFe....

Counting down my days

wHeN cAn My oFF dAyS bE MeAniNgFuL?

树, 叶, 风的故事